| | Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] | |
| |
Xekiest
Age : 32 Posts : 47
| Subject: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Mon 16 Apr 2012, 2:55 am | |
| Aayleh, Raiden.THE INFO. Name: Raiden Aayleh Nickname: Lightning Rod Taser Man Age: 14 Gender: Male Appearance: Raiden Aayleh has long white hair with black eyes hair reaches down to his chin in the front and in the back down to the middle of his neck. 5 feet 3 inches weighing at 115 pounds, carries two scars one small one across his right eye and another slashing down on his back. Most often is seen wearing a white shirt and black pants with a pair of white bandages around his arms from the forearms down to his hands has also been seen wearing a black robe to cover his body with the hood down. along his hands concealed at times by the black robes long sleeves or by the bandages on his arms is a ring with the word "Guidance" imprinted on it and never takes it off. along his neck he has a necklace with a strange jewel at the bottom and the word "Serenity" imprinted on the back of it.
He also carries a small pouch with him where he keeps a small items to keep himself busy such as books, drawing paper, and pencils. Along his waist a belt made from the hide of a wild boar he had killed when he was younger where he can store an assortment of shruikan for ranged combat. His body is skinny and not very muscular and keeps his straight serious face most instances when he is in public. along side his white pouch he has strapped on a much larger money pouch where he stores anything he has earned on his missions. he wears open toed shoes on his feet and straps two hidden kunai to both his legs to make sure he isn't defenseless in certain situations.
On the back of his white shirt he personally sewed on the Hawk Insignia, And on the front two black lines running down from his shoulders to the bottom of his sleeves. He also has a backpack for storing larger items such as multiple books or extra equipment but is rarely ever seen wearing it much less utilizing it. Along both of his arms underneath the two bandages are two tattooed Angels, on his right arm is the "Angel of Light" and on his left is the "Angel of Darkness", both put on to symbolize his lighter and darker side to serve as a reminder to him that he is only human.
Forehead Protector: black wrap with silver plating with the Kumogakure sign engraved on it. Is usually seen around his forehead but will sometimes wear it around his neck.
Personality: Raiden ruthlessly kills his enemies without mercy, executing them in a very cold, technical and calculative fashion. His rigorous upbringing in tandem with the many hardships and tragedies he has suffered, has forced Raiden to harden his emotions and disciplined his skills to perfection. He is undaunted by the lives he must take in order to protect the balance within the world, showing no mercy even to contract killers who have surrendered and given up their armament. Raiden knows life following the ninja path can be both cruel and short, especially for one of his Lineage. He has already felt first hand the brutality of this life; watching Aika, his best friend, murdered right in front of his own eyes. Raiden endures these hardships with his unstoppable will, an indomitable spirit shown in his exploits as he overcomes every challenge and obstacle, surviving even the trauma of death to return and exact his vengeance. Though Raiden cares little for his enemies's well being, he still respects them on a warrior basis, even having mutual respect with some adversaries even respecting his long time rival and friend, Ayane. Outside of battle Raiden is modest and refined and is heralded for being kind and gentle.
Raiden has the demeanor and wisdom of a man far older than himself, an understanding of the world around him and the balance of power within it. He ignores the pursuit of power to the dismayment of his uncle Takeshi, showing no signs of curiosity for the dark powers that dwell. Overall Raiden's exploits have given him an attitude far removed from most others, as he understands things in more abstract and philosophical terms. He adopts a tranquil nature, free flowing most of the time, but unforgiving and crushing when roused.
Likes: Justice Revenge Problem Solving Silence around enemies or people not close to him Strength in unity
Dislikes: Weakness Trying to do everything alone Surrendering Pointless Fighting Useless Killing Disobeying Orders
Clan: N/A Nindō: "Justice will be served, the impure will be cured, cleansed, or destroyed" Raiden believes in justice and revenge, he will stop at nothing to cleanse the world of impure evil souls. Such as greedy lords and evil ninja's
THE NINJA. Origin: Kaminari no Kuni Affiliation: Kumogakure Rank: Genin Specialties: Ninjutsu, Genjutsu Elemental Affinities: Raiton (Lightning), Doton (Earth) Combat Style: Silent Killing. Raiden prefers to silently lure in targets then take them out before they have a chance to react, usually using stealth and a sword and sometimes using ranged attacks. Using hit and run tactics to finish his opponents quick, if the first attack doesn't work he will try and try again. Raiden is a not very good up close and in your fighter making Taijutsu extremely effective when facing him. However tricking opponents into traps or staying hidden from sight, sound, and smell makes Genjutsu his strongest asset in his arsenal. When in a battle to the death there is one goal in mind, what is the quickest way to end the fight with him emerged as victorious, while in friendly spars his goal is what's the quickest way to incapacitate his opponent.
Using mirage Genjutsu and stealth to his advantage he refuses to go all out until he says an opening. Just to stay hidden Raiden will use dirty tactics such as aiming for the eyes with any type of tool that can potentially blind the opponent, if it grants him the advantage, then he WILL use it. He won’t go as far as to threaten civilians or burn down homes, but he will try every other trick in the book. He won’t endanger innocent lives to end his opponent’s life. If sent to capture a target alive, Raiden will try to disarm and maybe even cut off a hand just to stun the target long enough to tie him up and start extracting information. Special Characteristics:
- Spoiler:
Name: Advanced Stealth Rank: C Type: Physical Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: A skill gained by ninja who have begun to specialize in the art of stealth. The ninja becomes very light and quick on their feet. Their movements no longer create sound and they now gain a natural skill for hiding and camouflage.
Name: Advanced Chakra Control. Rank: D-S. Type: Chakra Based. Physical Requirements: Must specialize in Medical Ninjutsu or Genjutsu, and must not have an Increased Chakra Capacity or Bijuu. Training Requirements: 700. Description: An exceptional attribution that one is innately born with and further invokes during the course of their training. Chakra Control is key to preserving your stamina which will increase your vitality and enable you to use techniques to it's fullest capacity. It is essential for nearly all specialties of Ninjutsu but is heavily coveted in the areas of Medical Ninjutsu and Genjutsu which require good chakra in order to perform their techniques proficiently. Those with Advanced Chakra Control however are able to take it to the next step and preserve more noticeable chakra from their standard pool. Depending on the rank of the technique, a small quantity of chakra is preserved within the body when executed the Jutsu, which ultimately lowers the cost of your techniques. Furthermore because your Chakra Control is so flawless and exceptional, your Surface Walking and Water Walking techniques no longer cost chakra because you can now perform them effortlessly. This technique does not lower the cost chakra points going towards maintaining a jutsu, only creating them. D Rank Jutsu - Costs are reduced by 1 CP. C Rank Jutsu - Costs are reduced by 2 CP. B Rank Jutsu - Costs are reduced by 4 CP. A Rank Jutsu - Costs are reduced by 8 CP. S Rank Jutsu - Costs are reduced by 12 CP.
Name: Raiton Prodigy Rank: C Type: Chakra Based Physical Requirements: Must have Lightning Affinity Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: A trait given to ninja who posses a natural talent for lighting manipulation and has trained thoroughly to improve their skill. Their power over the lightning element becomes so talented that the ninja is now considered a young prodigy in the lightning element. Because of this, the user's lightning attacks are 20% more destructive with their increased voltage and size.
THE BACKGROUND. History: Birth Arc: Born to a wealthy family, The son of Kaeda and Kira, Raiden was born into the Shinobi World; and as required, he would be trained from childhood to walk the path of a ninja, a way of life plagued with danger, pain and sorrow.
Family Life Arc: Raiden grew up to a hostile father and mother, they wanted him to the best he could so they constantly trained him mentally and physically. They put him in the most extreme of situations even going as far as poisoning his food and almost killing him. However he did have one friend through all of the tough times, his best friend, and possible lover, Aika. she stood by him through the worst of the worst earning his respect and his trust. Under Omitsu's care Raiden quickly befriended Kureha and the two became inseparable.
Academy Student Arc: Finally in the academy alongside Aika, Raiden made it his top priority to pass the academy at the very top and beat everyone there was. He was ready. He studied in day and night all while keeping up with his mother and father's tests he was determined to exceed above the others. He memorized every test and every single hand seal even going as far as remembering the small stupid things that didn't even matter. Training intensified as he grew older, adapting to these difficulties, Raiden quickly excelled among his peers, becoming one of the clan's top students. Mastering many ninja skills, to the delight of his father. However on the day of there graduation Aika was killed by a missing nin with two scars over his eyes. The grief shook Raiden hard, and he vowed one day to find and kill that man for what he has done.
Genin Arc: Finally a genin, Raiden was ready to get out there and find the man who killed Aika. But even he knew he would need the help of his team to find and kill this man. However this may be he knew, in his hear, He Was Ready...
Roleplay Sample: The sun was hot but the shade was cool. Shadow positioned himself so his legs were crossing and his hands were behind the back of his head with a piece of wheat in his mouth. He reopened his eyes to the world above. The clouds were big and bushy that day, the birds were chirping and the flowers were blooming, if at all a clear sign of spring and Shadow was bored, he wanted a little mayhem and chaos but of course he was too busy dealing with other forces, such as strengthening himself up so he doesn’t die first day on the job, which would REALLY look bad on everyone. Shadow stood up and paced around for a little while, he was trying to master lung control.. well at least make it so he can last longer if he ever suffocates. He looked to his evil foe the large bucket of water ”Phew.. Alright Shadow you got this, no water can defeat me! I’m a Tengu after all! hah!” he said to himself. He walked over to the bucket of water and stared down into it right into his reflection. His eyes were glowing red, a clear sign of his heritage, and his hair was spiky and long. He touched his right eye scar and then in closed his eyes, remembering to when he was abandoned on the side of the road. He awoke from his daydream to be still staring at himself, to himself he counted from three. Three, Two, One.. and down he went plunging face first into the water. He sat there for a couple of seconds before he opened his eyes underneath the cool blue water and looked around for a second. he thought to himself ”Have i done it? Ah ha! See! What did i tell you Shadow ol’ Boy! No water can defeat a mighty Tengu! Nothing can! Ah ha!--” he would be cut off there by a sudden gasp for air, he jolted himself up out of the water and fell backwards landing directly flat on his ass. He stared at the bucket of water a for a bit then stared down, saying to himself ”Greeeat going Shadow.. A god damn bucket of water defeated the mighty Tengu warrior... What am i? A spirit demon or a bloody cat..” he said to himself before getting up, he walked over to the barrel and stared at his reflection after the ripples in the water stopped moving. His head was drenched in water from his hair to his neck and was still dripping water everywhere. ”Well... I hear the circus is a nice place.. not as entertaining as causing destruction but.. Hey! I can pull off that whole lion jumping through the fire ring act easily..” he said to himself still staring at his reflection. He went over to grab a towel and dried himself off before laying down again staring up at the skies. Was this really all he would ever be? Was this is true potential? It couldn’t be, not for a spirit demon. He stared up at the sky for a little bit longer daydreaming about nothing He reopened his eyes to the world above, and pondered about his place in it all, Where did he come from after all? Of that he had no clue about but it no longer mattered, his only goal now was serving his ultimate master, but how can he serve him in such a weak state right now. He stood up and unsheathed his blade, using it to cut a watermelon he had shoplifted from a very dumb merchant. After munching down on that and thinking more about where he belongs he in the universe he got back up and started pacing again around the water bucket. He stared at it for several long seconds before moving around to the left of it, he put up his fingers to it like he was framing it in order to get a good look at it. He closed his eyes and digged deep, he breathed in and out, this time he could do it for sure. he went over to it and plunged his head in face first. He sat there for a few seconds, a few seconds became a few minutes, a few minutes became twenty minutes, he pulled his head out of the water. He smiled and walked away
THE ARSENAL. Jutsu, Weaponry, Items etc.
- Academy Jutsu:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
- Lightning Jutsu:
Name: Kangekiha - Inspiration Wave Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Raiton (Lightning) Description: The user will first create a protective wall of water (must be done with a water technique, it is not included with just this technique). They will then form the needed hand seal and emit a bolt of electricity into the water which will increase its defensive effectiveness and stun any targets who attempt to pass through. The electricity only affects the water for the post it is used, and the stunning effect only lasts as long as the user is making contact with the water. Chakra Cost: 6
Name: Lightning Release: Electromagnetic Murder Rank: C-A Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Raiton (Lightning) Description: This technique allows the user to create a wave of electricity from their hands. The user can vary its power from a small surge to shock an opponent to a powerful stream of lightning capable of ripping through solid rock. Chakra Cost: C (5), B (10), A (20)
- Earth Jutsu:
Name: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu - Double Suicide Decapitation Technique Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: Doton • Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. The ninja will travel through the ground to appear below their target. They will then surprise their target by then pulling them into the ground. Once in the ground their target is thus immobilized. Chakra Cost: 4
- Kumogakure Specific Techniques:
Name: Kumogakure no Jutsu - Hidden Cloud Technique Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0 - 5m), Med (5 - 10m) Element: - Village: Kumogakure Description: This jutsu is developed and trained within Kumogakure as a village specific jutsu. After forming the needed hand seal, the user will place their hand over their head and cause a large amount of cloud to gather. This cloud is extremely difficult to see through from someone not of Kumogakure, who are used to looking through heavy clouds, and are more able to do combat while within said cloud. The jutsu involves kneading chakra into the cloud, allowing the user to create extremely thick or thin levels of cloud. Those with doujutsu or chakra sensing techniques are also able to see through this thick cloud but without any aid, then you'll be blind within the cloud. A C-Rank Fuuton Jutsu can blow the clouds away. Chakra Cost: 4 (2CP)
Name: Konkorudo no Hikō - Flight of the Concorde Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Single-Target Range: Close (0 - 5m), Med (5 - 10m), Far (10m+) Element: - Description: Konkorudo no Hikō is a genjutsu technique. After performing the required handseals and the opponent has maintained eye contact with the users body, the user will be able to call upon a flock of eagles that appear from a cloud surrounding the user within a two metre radius. The group of five average sized bald eagles will fly out of the cloud and at the opponent, to then attack them with their vicious claws or with the use of their sharp beaks. The technique is commonly used to scare opponents away or to distract them enough for a follow - up attack. Chakra Cost: 7 [2]
- Genjutsu:
Name: Magen • Narakumi no Jutsu - Demonic Illusion • Hell Viewing Technique Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Medium: Single-Target Range: Line of Sight Element: - Description: Magen • Narakumi no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique that causes its target to see a horrifying vision. The ninja will use the serpent hand seal to cause a circle of leaves to spin and envelop the target and then fall away. If the target sees these leaves, the Gen jutsu will be cast. Once cast the world will appear normal to the target until they see the illusion. Chakra Cost:4 (1 per post)
Name: Kokohi no Jutsu - False Place Technique Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Far (0m - 20m) Element: - Description: Kokohi no Jutsu is a simple Genjutsu technique which changes the appearance of a nearby object. The object must be within 20m of the user. Chakra Cost: 4 (1 per post)
Name: Kasumi Juusha no Jutsu - Mist Servant Technique Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: - Description: Kasumi Juusha no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique that creates up to 5 false attackers to delay and confuse the enemy. Though these servants are not real, the actual ninja is able to remain hidden and throw kunai and shuriken matching the movements of the servants. This makes it appear the false servants are capable of attacking. When the enemy attempts to attack the servant, they will merely disrupt the servants illusion body but not destroy it. If these clones leave 5m radius of the caster, they will disappear. Chakra Cost: 4 (1 per post)
Name: Flower Petal Escape Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: - Description: If the user comes under attack, she or he can use this technique to cover her or his escape. After forming the needed hand seals, the user's body will disperse into a shower of flower petals. These petals will confuse and distract her or his opponent while she or he escapes or hides. This technique works very similarly to substitution, but can also be used to delude the enemy with more flower petal based Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: 5
Name: Magen • Jigoku Gouka no Jutsu - Demonic Illusion • Hell Fire Technique Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Far (0m - 30m) Element: - Description: After the user forms the needed handseals, a huge ball of fire will descend from the sky to envelope his or her target. The victims of the genjutsu will believe they are being engulfed by a torrent of fire and flee their location for safety. The fireball cannot reach further than 30m. Chakra Cost: 8 (2 per post)
Name: Kori Shinchuu no Jutsu - Sly Mind Affect Technique Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Multi-Target Range: Far (0m - 25m) Element: - Description: Kori Shinchuu no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique which causes the target to travel around in circles. If the ninja is unable to detect the illusion very quickly, they can become exhausted mentally and physically when they are unable to reach their desired target by traveling along the same path over and over. The caster must remain in the shadows, or within 25m of the targets to maintain this Genjutsu. Only 3 people may be influenced by this Genjutsu at one time. Chakra Cost: 7 (2 per post)
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim: Unknown Source: Devientart Image URL: http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/356/1/f/random_anime_guy_by_pandorabox17-d35eqfo.jpg
Last edited by xekiest on Sat 16 Mar 2013, 3:26 am; edited 53 times in total |
| | | Xekiest
Age : 32 Posts : 47
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Mon 16 Apr 2012, 5:14 am | |
| bump |
| | | Guest
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Mon 16 Apr 2012, 6:01 am | |
| Have you received approval for an Uchiha? |
| | | Xekiest
Age : 32 Posts : 47
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:03 am | |
| - Persy wrote:
- Have you received approval for an Uchiha?
no one told me >.> and i can't PM but Enzo was kind enough to ask for permission for me so if i need to i can take this down for now |
| | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29 Posts : 4301
| | | | Xekiest
Age : 32 Posts : 47
| | | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29 Posts : 4301
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Mon 16 Apr 2012, 3:21 pm | |
|
- xekiest wrote:
- Yeah ill take the character down
You don't need to be so drastic about it, all you have to do is seek Administrative approval for an Uchiha Jounin. |
| | | Xekiest
Age : 32 Posts : 47
| | | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29 Posts : 4301
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Mon 16 Apr 2012, 5:35 pm | |
| Without taking a proper look over of your character, I've already picked up on the fact that you still include pieces of History that go beyond the rank of Genin. You also harbour quite a lot of techniques that go beyond your rank as well, a Genin is only permitted to have C - Rank techniques and below. Please go about your entire character and remove any sections that exceed your rank.
|
| | | Xekiest
Age : 32 Posts : 47
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Tue 17 Apr 2012, 3:38 am | |
| edited again |
| | | Enzo
Age : 28 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Thu 19 Apr 2012, 6:21 pm | |
| I'll be nitpicking quite a bit, as Dari has covered most of this.
- Though 16 year olds in the modern day are usually as tall as yours, do remember Naruto is about 5'5", if not 5'6". Kakashi is the same height as your character, and he's a full grown adult. Please tone down his height a bit to be more relative. Also, he's VERY skinny for a Genin. And by skinny I mean, no muscle at all. He's a Taijutsu user, why is he so skinny?
- Please state the location of your forehead protector in appearance. I cannot find it anywhere. All ninja must wear a forehead protector.
- You cannot have a katana unless you have Weaponry. Though the current weapon encyclopedia is being updated, Katanas will remain C-rank, and thus members cannot have one unless they actually have Weaponry as a Specialty. Therefore remove all mentions of a Katana from your appearance and Aresenal.
-
- Quote :
- Very Intelligent for his age recorded IQ of 115.
You do realize 115 is not that high.. it's 15 points above average for your age. 120-80 is considered average in the modern world, and since IQ tests can be assumed the same in Naruto, it's very ordinary. He may be adapt at stuff, but he's no Genius. Not to mention if you wanted a Genius, you'd need the High IQ Special Characteristic. (Do note IQ is intelligence quotient. It's an average collected of all the people in your character's age group. 100 is always the basic. As time goes by, a person who had 100 in 1930 may have 90 in 1940. IQ changes according to the global average. It's not a numeric system based around who can one-up another. The smarter the general population grows, the closer to the center you will be.)
- You may (and are encouraged to) add more jutsu. The 8 Academy jutsu don't go toward the 15 jutsu limit. Feel free to add more jutsu if you wish.
|
| | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29 Posts : 4301
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Sat 23 Jun 2012, 1:19 pm | |
| Archived. Due to inactivity.
|
| | | TwinnyKitty
Age : 30 Posts : 471
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Wed 13 Mar 2013, 10:40 am | |
| Unarchived due to user request |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Wed 13 Mar 2013, 3:47 pm | |
| Is this being worked on now, or were you going to just let it be modded in this form? If you are working on it again, please put the title into W.I.P.
If you are not working on it, do you have permission to again apply for Uchiha? And you are missing the forehead section, and a few academy jutsu, and can't have a katana if you don't have Weaponry.
|
| | | Xekiest
Age : 32 Posts : 47
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:50 pm | |
| - MsMoney wrote:
- Is this being worked on now, or were you going to just let it be modded in this form? If you are working on it again, please put the title into W.I.P.
If you are not working on it, do you have permission to again apply for Uchiha? And you are missing the forehead section, and a few academy jutsu, and can't have a katana if you don't have Weaponry.
huh? I edited out all of the Katana and Uchiha parts and my forehead section is there. I checked and all of the academy jutsu are there also. |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Fri 15 Mar 2013, 3:57 am | |
| - Quote :
- huh? I edited out all of the Katana and Uchiha parts and my forehead section is there. I checked and all of the academy jutsu are there also.
When I looked at it yesterday, things were not so peachy as you describe them now. Anyway, let us get to the modding
-
- Quote :
- As a ninja, Raiden ruthlessly kills his enemies without mercy, executing them in a very cold, technical and calculative fashion.
Last time I checked, not all ninja and hardly all ruthlessly kill their enemies without mercy.
If you could also add a bit more to your personality. Could be likes and dislikes.
- Put your rank at Genin please.
- Your combat style needs to be one solid paragraph. A single paragraph is about 250 - 300 words. Include in it the biggest weakness and biggest strength.
- It's best if you don't put your posts in one big block like with the rp sample. It makes it harder to read. Also keep in mind that we will be expecting your posts to be the same size/ or similar as your rp sample.
- You have 6 jutsu but can start out with 15. It's not something mandatory, but recommended.
- Can you put your FC so that the first section says Unknown, and the next only Deviantart?
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| | | Xekiest
Age : 32 Posts : 47
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Fri 15 Mar 2013, 4:35 am | |
| - MsMoney wrote:
-
- Quote :
- huh? I edited out all of the Katana and Uchiha parts and my forehead section is there. I checked and all of the academy jutsu are there also.
When I looked at it yesterday, things were not so peachy as you describe them now. Anyway, let us get to the modding
-
- Quote :
- As a ninja, Raiden ruthlessly kills his enemies without mercy, executing them in a very cold, technical and calculative fashion.
Last time I checked, not all ninja and hardly all ruthlessly kill their enemies without mercy.
If you could also add a bit more to your personality. Could be likes and dislikes.
- Put your rank at Genin please.
- Your combat style needs to be one solid paragraph. A single paragraph is about 250 - 300 words. Include in it the biggest weakness and biggest strength.
- It's best if you don't put your posts in one big block like with the rp sample. It makes it harder to read. Also keep in mind that we will be expecting your posts to be the same size/ or similar as your rp sample.
- You have 6 jutsu but can start out with 15. It's not something mandatory, but recommended.
- Can you put your FC so that the first section says Unknown, and the next only Deviantart?
Done!.. I think lol |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Sat 16 Mar 2013, 3:03 am | |
| - Why did you put your likes and dislikes in the history? Normally they go in the personality section.
- Can you also change the name of the application, so it's his full name before the village and rank? And take out the 'completed'. |
| | | Xekiest
Age : 32 Posts : 47
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Sat 16 Mar 2013, 3:26 am | |
| - MsMoney wrote:
- - Why did you put your likes and dislikes in the history? Normally they go in the personality section.
- Can you also change the name of the application, so it's his full name before the village and rank? And take out the 'completed'. Done |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Sun 17 Mar 2013, 6:46 pm | |
| (1/2) approved. |
| | | Sloth
Age : 31 Posts : 683
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Tue 19 Mar 2013, 9:49 am | |
| 2/2 approved.
Make an account here for dem dollas. |
| | | Adam
Age : 30 Posts : 8965
| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] Sun 16 Jun 2013, 5:14 pm | |
| Archived. Due to user inactivity. |
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| Subject: Re: Aayleh, Raiden [Kumo Genin] | |
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