Back to puppetry (Finished)

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

Name: Scar
Rank: C

Description: Scar has spikked hair, six eyes, and resembles a wounded soilder. Suction cups on the botton of its feet so so that it's alway to steady to be moved unless by a great force. It's is rather light beasuse it is hollow wood covered in adamanium. This puppets is highly resistent to fire but not fire proof.

Body Slots:
Left Arm: A large full body metal sheild with a spear sticking from the front used to block weapons and jutsu C Rank and below
Eyes: Paper bombs held with containors like balls with different effects that can be launched out of his head.when shot out they release from the containment then ignite themselves.
1.poison(makes oponent dizzy and cause the to stumble around for 2 post) 2.reg bomb 3.illousions bomb(causes a person to see illusions of pink bunnies) 4.electrical bomb (send and electrical shock causing a person to stun for 1 post)5.smoke bomb 6.flash bomb
Right Hand: Weilds a thick 10 meter chain with poison dipped kunai attached to the last meter of it (If hit by the kunai the opponent would start to become woozy and react much slower. last 3 post)
Waist: Waist: On Scar's back hips are two, multiple bladed contraptions (1meter) that constantly continue to spin and manipulate to slash and break through obstacles, and also easily kill people. They are able to saw through many things, even some metal, making them very dangerous weapons
Mouth: Small metal shards that can be shot from within it's mouth. they can cut thought the wind. Can be shot 5 at a time(30)
Right Elbow: Shoots out a metal chained net to capture an opponent. (5)

History: One day Seoul was practicing his puppetry, and someone attacked him. he responded in self defense by hurling his puppet in front of the nin, he didn't see the nin's headband, though it didn't really matter, as the nin had attacked him. Seoul still wasn't very skilled, and he was using a very basic puppet, and so the puppet was destroyed fairly quickly, the nin then moved at Seoul again, this time flipping a couple hand seals the nin breathed in and released a 'grand fireball technique' from his mouth, Seoul didn't know what to do, and suddenly without even thinking about it he reacted, and oddly enough he simply held his hand out and from the small diamond on his wrist formed a shield of pure diamond, as well as ten diamond kunai, these flew at the nin, Seoul had gotten lucky, and his chakra has exhausted, six of the ten diamond kunai and struck the nin, one going straight through his throat, killing him. Nowadays he can create these almost at will.

Name: (The name of your weapon)
Rank: (The rank of your weapon, should be equal to or below puppet rank)
Element: (What element is your weapon, if any)
Description: (What does your weapon do, how, why, etc)

Age : 28 Posts : 2538

Lord Of Sexy wrote:: This puppets is highly resistent to fire but not fire proof.

You need to further explain this characteristic if you even have a chance at keeping it.

|Make your decription a bit longer, about 5 lines~|

Watch out for your grammatical errors, I recommend using a spell checker in future.

Lord Of Sexy wrote:: Left Arm: A large full body metal sheild with a spear sticking from the front used to block weapons and jutsu C Rank and below

Explain how it blocks. Is it weak to a certain element, strong against one? What is the shield made of? Wood, metal, etc.

Lord Of Sexy wrote:: 1.poison(makes oponent dizzy and cause the to stumble around for 2 post)

Poison's need to be put in their own Item Template, even if it is with a Puppet. The decription you have given is nowhere near enough.

Lord Of Sexy wrote:: 2.reg bomb

You have to further explain what I assume you're saying a 'regular bomb' is. That can be interpreted as something strong enough to blow up countries, stored within your C-Ranked Puppet.

Lord Of Sexy wrote:: poison dipped kunai attached to the last meter of it (If hit by the kunai the opponent would start to become woozy and react much slower. last 3 post)

Once again, poison needs it's own template.

Lord Of Sexy wrote:: and also easily kill people

Which people. Civilians? Shinobi? Because with only a 1 metre range, I think shinobi would be able to dodge these just as easily as they can kill.

Lord Of Sexy wrote:: Mouth: Small metal shards that can be shot from within it's mouth. they can cut thought the wind. Can be shot 5 at a time(30)

You might as well change these "small metal shards" to senbon, and actual ninja weapon.

Lord Of Sexy wrote:: Right Elbow: Shoots out a metal chained net to capture an opponent. (5)

Does this mean you have 5 of them? Because that's way too many. If they're big enough to capture an opponent, at most you'd be able to store on in your puppet's right elbow, which is a relatively small space.

Posts : 730

Quote :: Description: Scar has spikked hair, six eyes, and resembles a wounded soilder. Suction cups on the botton of its feet so so that it's alway to steady to be moved unless by a great force. It's is rather light beasuse it is hollow wood covered in adamanium. This puppets is highly resistent to fire but not fire proof.

Just tossing in my two cents as well. I'm not sure what Adamanium is, but it doesn't exist, so pick a new metal. I'm assuming you meant to say Adamantium... which, also does not exist, so pick a real metal. This is nartuo, not the X men.

Subject: Re: Back to puppetry (Finished) Mon 17 Jan 2011, 8:24 am

Archived due to inactivity.