Kazura, Saruno [Konoha Jounin]

Age : 32 Posts : 276

Aaron wrote:: Are you aware that you can no longer condense chakra because you removed your character's states?

You state that your character must be in at least first or second stage to condense chakra and you no longer have the stages.

This will need editing in that case. :]

You need to re-read the clan. Smile

I can condense chakra, only make it explode afterward.

Lucky 7 wrote:

Quote :: Condensed Fuuton Chakra
Condensing Fuuton Chakra is a basic form of the Kazura's ability to condense such substances. Utilizing a set amount of chakra per condensation, can result in powerful fluxes of wind in one area, if not combined with Katon. These "Pushes" of wind can be caused in many ways.

E Rank: D Rank Push.
D Rank: C Rank Push.
C Rank: B Rank Push.
B Rank: A Rank Push.
A Rank: A Rank Push.
S Rank: S Rank Push.

Condensed Katon Chakra
Condensing Katon Chakra is a more Advanced way of the Kazura's ability to condense such substances. The ability to manipulate the chakra to Condense Katon chakra can create an explosion beneath the fire that is condensed. With enough force of the Condensation, along with Fuuton, can create an explosion with enough power to....You get the rest.

E Rank Chakra: D Rank Burn.
D Rank Chakra: C Rank Burn.
C Rank Chakra: B Rank Burn.
B Rank Chakra: A Rank Burn.
A Rank Chakra: A Rank Burn.
S Rank Chakra: S Rank Burn.

E Rank Combination: C Rank Explosion. (I think this should be D Rank Explosion.)
D Rank Combination: C Rank Explosion.
C Rank Combination: B Rank Explosion.
B Rank Combination: A Rank Explosion.
A Rank Combination: S Rank Explosion.
S Rank Combination: S+ Rank Explosion.

This method of chakra condensing seems extremely powerful, although i do like the idea behind it. I see you have taken that into some consideration already however i still believe you require a negative effect by using it. For example:- Pein's cool down/recharge time. I think it would be satisfactry if you provided a cool down/recharge time(s) for any/all over B rank Explosion or B rank Push. That way you'll still be able to peform a weaker version should you need to however should you perform a more powerful version, i'd expect the recharge time to be a minimum of one post to three posts (S rank version). During these recharge time(s) i think it fair that you cannot perform any jutsu over C rank, although you may still maintane your characters mobility. Unless of course you perform your S+ Rank Explosion inwhich case i think it fair that you not be able to perform any jutsu in your re-charge period.

Yes yes, but all complains of the clan must be made Via Clan app in the clan section please. I'll fix it once it gets moved again.

Posts : 372

M'kay Zane. I'll be checking some of your application today. So yeah, my name is Kris and what not, you know the rest. :]

Quote :: (1) Saruno was born with unnatural amounts of chakra, even for such a person with barely an ability to move, he was sensed with at least some. His father had such reserves and was praised for such. That trait was passed on from his father to Saruno. Thankfully for his mother, she survived bearing such a child. (Lucky her~)

(2) He was also gifted with the knack to Control chakra at will, but was very hard since he had to refine it over the years, even during his youth. He discovered the ability as a small child, and began to try and perfect it over the time he was growing up into a young adult. Once he was at a certain rank in Konoha, he trained himself even harder to try and make his Manipulation over his own chakra effective.

I don't like this. Chakra Control and Chakra Reserves? No, just no. I'm sorry but, chakra control should be something that takes years to even up obtain and then more years to perfect. I don't like the idea of you having these two and obtaining them just like that. Remove either this, or the other special characteristic. If you choose to keep the chakra pool/reserve I'm going to have to say no too 33% , however I will be okay with a 15% .
_____________________________________________________________

Quote :: Basic
Weapon List
x01 Lightweight Armor
x01 Yuui
x20 Shurican
x20 Kunai
x10 Reels
of Copper wire.
x20 Shards of Narusu Crystal(In a special pouch).
x10
Explosive Tags.
x2 Summoning scrolls.
x3,000 links of 'Lesser' Amizaru chain.

For your weapons list, I don't think you need to list the basic ninja tools, just the "not everyday" ninja tools.

Quote :: Name: Katon • Kasaihane no Jutsu - Fire Release • Fire
Wing Technique
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank:
C
Element: Katon
Description:
This is a Decoration Jutsu, and can be used with just one or two hand
signs. Forming two hands seals, Saruno is able to make a flowing set of
wings, made of a rolling fire from his chakra. The wings do not
physically touch his body, nor his clothing, but remain at a distance
where it won't harm him from the heat. This can follow him to make him
look nice. This may be used as a partial defense if an enemy is behind
him, but burns will be minor.

How many posts does this last? For each post, how much chakra is used to keep this activated?

Quote :: Name: Katon • Kasai Hayashi - Fire Release • Fire
Forest
Type:
Rank:
Element:

Description:

Yeah, are you going to finish this?

Quote :: [Epic Ninjutsu/Kenjutsu]

Name:
[Name of jutsu]
Type: [Ninjutsu, Weaponry,
Puppetry, Genjutsu, Kenjutsu, Taijutsu]
Rank:
[E,D,C,B,A,S]
Element: [Lightning, Wind, Earth,
Water, Fire]
Description: [A well detailed
description of your jutsu. Remember to add in such fetures as it's
range, chakra cost, drawbacks, etc to give an overall view of the
technique.]

Name: [Name of jutsu]
Type:
[Ninjutsu, Weaponry, Puppetry, Genjutsu, Kenjutsu, Taijutsu]
Rank:
[E,D,C,B,A,S]
Element: [Lightning, Wind, Earth,
Water, Fire]
Description: [A well detailed
description of your jutsu. Remember to add in such fetures as it's
range, chakra cost, drawbacks, etc to give an overall view of the
technique.]

Name: [Name of jutsu]
Type:
[Ninjutsu, Weaponry, Puppetry, Genjutsu, Kenjutsu, Taijutsu]
Rank:
[E,D,C,B,A,S]
Element: [Lightning, Wind, Earth,
Water, Fire]
Description: [A well detailed
description of your jutsu. Remember to add in such fetures as it's
range, chakra cost, drawbacks, etc to give an overall view of the
technique.]

What is this? Is this supposed to be your kenjutsu or something? Finish it or get rid of it.

Quote :: Name: Great Fireball Technique • Goukakyuu
Type:
[Ninjutsu, Weaponry, Puppetry, Genjutsu, Kenjutsu, Taijutsu]
Rank:
C
Element: Katon
Description:
Katon • Goukakyuu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire
Element. The ninja does the necessary hand seals, draws chakra from
their mouth into their chest and them immediately exhales it. They then
blow a stream of fire which erupts into a large sphere of flames. To
better manage the flames the ninja will bring their hand to their mouth
to control it.

You need to fix the little error in there ;D

That's all I have for now, however, I may post later with anything else I disagree with in your application :/

Posts : 509

Quote :: Yes yes, but all complains of the clan must be made Via Clan app in the clan section please. I'll fix it once it gets moved again.

I'll post where i think it's necessary, where your applications concerned, it's necessary ^^

Age : 32 Posts : 276

Mister GaGa wrote:

M'kay Zane. I'll be checking some of your application today. So yeah, my name is Kris and what not, you know the rest. :]

Quote :: (1) Saruno was born with unnatural amounts of chakra, even for such a person with barely an ability to move, he was sensed with at least some. His father had such reserves and was praised for such. That trait was passed on from his father to Saruno. Thankfully for his mother, she survived bearing such a child. (Lucky her~)

(2) He was also gifted with the knack to Control chakra at will, but was very hard since he had to refine it over the years, even during his youth. He discovered the ability as a small child, and began to try and perfect it over the time he was growing up into a young adult. Once he was at a certain rank in Konoha, he trained himself even harder to try and make his Manipulation over his own chakra effective.

I don't like this. Chakra Control and Chakra Reserves? No, just no. I'm sorry but, chakra control should be something that takes years to even up obtain and then more years to perfect. I don't like the idea of you having these two and obtaining them just like that. Remove either this, or the other special characteristic. If you choose to keep the chakra pool/reserve I'm going to have to say no too 33% , however I will be okay with a 15% .

Fixed. Hope you die. =\
_____________________________________________________________

Quote :: Basic
Weapon List
x01 Lightweight Armor
x01 Yuui
x20 Shurican
x20 Kunai
x10 Reels
of Copper wire.
x20 Shards of Narusu Crystal(In a special pouch).
x10
Explosive Tags.
x2 Summoning scrolls.
x3,000 links of 'Lesser' Amizaru chain.

For your weapons list, I don't think you need to list the basic ninja tools, just the "not everyday" ninja tools.

I do cause' I do. Helps me remember. >>

Quote :: Name: Katon • Kasaihane no Jutsu - Fire Release • Fire
Wing Technique
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank:
C
Element: Katon
Description:
This is a Decoration Jutsu, and can be used with just one or two hand
signs. Forming two hands seals, Saruno is able to make a flowing set of
wings, made of a rolling fire from his chakra. The wings do not
physically touch his body, nor his clothing, but remain at a distance
where it won't harm him from the heat. This can follow him to make him
look nice. This may be used as a partial defense if an enemy is behind
him, but burns will be minor.

How many posts does this last? For each post, how much chakra is used to keep this activated?

Fixed?

Quote :: Name: Katon • Kasai Hayashi - Fire Release • Fire
Forest
Type:
Rank:
Element:

Description:

Yeah, are you going to finish this?

Just did. >_>

Quote :: [Epic Ninjutsu/Kenjutsu]

Name:
[Name of jutsu]
Type: [Ninjutsu, Weaponry,
Puppetry, Genjutsu, Kenjutsu, Taijutsu]
Rank:
[E,D,C,B,A,S]
Element: [Lightning, Wind, Earth,
Water, Fire]
Description: [A well detailed
description of your jutsu. Remember to add in such fetures as it's
range, chakra cost, drawbacks, etc to give an overall view of the
technique.]

Name: [Name of jutsu]
Type:
[Ninjutsu, Weaponry, Puppetry, Genjutsu, Kenjutsu, Taijutsu]
Rank:
[E,D,C,B,A,S]
Element: [Lightning, Wind, Earth,
Water, Fire]
Description: [A well detailed
description of your jutsu. Remember to add in such fetures as it's
range, chakra cost, drawbacks, etc to give an overall view of the
technique.]

Name: [Name of jutsu]
Type:
[Ninjutsu, Weaponry, Puppetry, Genjutsu, Kenjutsu, Taijutsu]
Rank:
[E,D,C,B,A,S]
Element: [Lightning, Wind, Earth,
Water, Fire]
Description: [A well detailed
description of your jutsu. Remember to add in such fetures as it's
range, chakra cost, drawbacks, etc to give an overall view of the
technique.]

What is this? Is this supposed to be your kenjutsu or something? Finish it or get rid of it.

When I'm working on it, don't be cruel. >O

Quote :: Name: Great Fireball Technique • Goukakyuu
Type:
[Ninjutsu, Weaponry, Puppetry, Genjutsu, Kenjutsu, Taijutsu]
Rank:
C
Element: Katon
Description:
Katon • Goukakyuu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire
Element. The ninja does the necessary hand seals, draws chakra from
their mouth into their chest and them immediately exhales it. They then
blow a stream of fire which erupts into a large sphere of flames. To
better manage the flames the ninja will bring their hand to their mouth
to control it.

You need to fix the little error in there ;D

=\

That's all I have for now, however, I may post later with anything else I disagree with in your application :/

>>

Sure sure.

Age : 32 Posts : 276

Well here ya' go. ALL DONE@! >>!

Enjoy~

Posts : 423

* just a note. i don't like reading all this negativity from you, zane, towards the mods. fix your attitude.

keep up the good work guys ;)

Age : 32 Posts : 276

>>

Fine.

Posts : 509

Angelic Wings:- Are you permitted to have these? I was of the understanding characters weren't allowed to just have wings 24/7? I could be wrong tho.
His father had such reserves and was praised for such, Why did his farther have such high chakra reserves?
Kazekiri - Wind Cutter, It states it's for ANBU use and your charrie is not ANBU.

Apart from those minor things, i think your about ready for approval. I'll take one more look over once you've editted and it should be all good. :3

Age : 32 Posts : 276

Lucky 7 wrote:

Angelic Wings:- Are you permitted to have these? I was of the understanding characters weren't allowed to just have wings 24/7? I could be wrong tho.
His father had such reserves and was praised for such, Why did his farther have such high chakra reserves?
Kazekiri - Wind Cutter, It states it's for ANBU use and your charrie is not ANBU.

Apart from those minor things, i think your about ready for approval. I'll take one more look over once you've editted and it should be all good. :3

• I forgot to remove that. =\

• Gotta remove that too?

• Removed that.

Posts : 509

Quote :: Gotta remove that too?

I'd be happy to let you keep it, if you just explained why your father had over average chakra reserves? I try to avoid taking peoples applications apart, it's your idea's afterall and aslong as i think there fair and have reasoning i'm happy to approve them.

Age : 32 Posts : 276

Well I removed it. =\

Posts : 509

Oh okay, well i guess the area's that i was asked to check have been fixed. As far as i know this application is ok to be approved.

EDIT:- Due to information that has only just come to my attention i think it would be best for you if you started at another village. Konoha's current state at the moment is undecided and therefore i don't want to approve you and then find the village is being taken out. It'll just cause you more work later on, i hope you see my point and i'm sorry for the inconvenience Zane.

Age : 32 Posts : 276

..

Can I shift my history to another village?

Age : 33 Posts : 428

.Нєανєηłу Άηgєl wrote:: ..

Can I shift my history to another village?

Well, there might be a open Kumo Jounin spot. But, for that you need to ask Todd if he will give you permission.

Age : 30 Posts : 1256

I will archive this topic if no renewed interest is shown in the next 24 hours.

Age : 30 Posts : 1256

Archived