Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.



 
HomePortalLatest imagesSearchRegisterLog in

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin]

View previous topic View next topic Go down
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyTue 04 Jan 2011, 8:38 am

Basic Information:

Name:
Jax Fenik
Secondary Title:
"The Pheonix"
Age:
19
Gender:
Male
Physical Appearance:
Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Clayelementuser

Jax is 6 foot tall (6’1’’ with shoes) fellow, who sports an athletic/lean build and is thus about 170lbs give or take his last meals worth in weight. His skin tone is darker, reflecting his native heritage and his clothes as well as the tattoo of exile reflect the tribal overtone in which his original background was forged. Even his arrangement of ceremonial jewelry, ranging from finger rings to earrings, to the family crest that he wears around his neck, are remnants of the culture he was removed from. However, he did stray from his culture in the sense of his footwear, as his pride in his speed brought him to by footwear that were a bit more sturdy. Seeing as though he is often always in tropical regions, he wears baggy loose fitting pants that cuff at his foot for easy breath-ability, but little else, and isn’t very commonly seen wearing a shirt, which is something of a coincidence simply because of his past line of work in the sun.

It just so happens that the native clan members in Marsh Country also adapted their clothing for the warm humid weather. Topped off with a bush of brown hair and calming green eyes, he appears as if the perfect potential shinobi. While is looks exactly like the picture and explaining the picture itself seems a bit redundant it's easier just to type another paragraph or so and allow the staff to be content with the required typing. He is a lengthy guy; with long wing span as well as long legs. He isn't necessarily thin, but he would be lanky if only for the fact that his body is quite muscular and it would be a mistake to just call him skinny. While he tans seasonally due to exposure to the sun his skin is a pretty constant and obvious shade of brown, something that tends to stick out when you are the minority in the shinobi world.


Personality:
Jax has two different poles to his personality. On one hand he is usually an energetic, bright, and almost playful spirit. His positive attitude makes him appear cheerful, and naive in an infectious sort of innocent way that is meant to bring a smile to those around him. His outward appearance is not at all shy, and he is very quick to be flirty and friendly to almost anyone, especially if they are of the same positive temperament or physically attractive. His attitude if also very endearing and brings him to never give up or to keep trying, even if it is a situation that is seemingly impossible. His stubborn attitude brings him to dream big and he sets his goals very high... however...

There is also a very serious side to the otherwise happy-go-luck appearance. He is very analytical, thinking even when he doesn't mean to be. He takes note of small details that he think may be of interest or that he recognizes from different scenarios. He can become visible depressed, as displayed by his physical features. This depression is usually a result of disappointment in people or scenarios. Though he will never admit to such a thing as being upset. He is a deep thinker, and when not in public or in a place where he is by himself, he is constantly organizing thought in his mind; trying to make sense of what he hasn't yet discovered.

His two separate thought patterns also reflects on the field of battle. Though their are many constants. He preaches understanding and rejects the idea of killing. In battle, he will prevent killing and much rather neutralize his opponent. He also believes in forgiveness and redepmtion, and as such, believes there are some acts that are unforgivable. He is either very relaxed in battle, seemingly not taking it seriously as he plays around and teases in a battle, sometimes tauntingly, while in serious situations he assumes a more silent and serious.

Clan:
Fenik Clan -- Phoenix Release

Rank Information:

Rank:
Jounin [With Todd's Permission Pending Application Quality]
Village Affiliation:
Kumogakure

Special Information:

Character Speciality:
Main: Ninjutsu
Sub: Taijutsu

Elemental Affinity:
Advanced: Phoenix [Fenton]
Main: Fire [Katon]
Sub: N/A

Background Information

History:

Spoiler:

Role-Play Sample:
Spoiler:


Last edited by Footwork on Wed 05 Jan 2011, 3:10 am; edited 4 times in total
Back to top Go down
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyTue 04 Jan 2011, 10:07 am

Skill Information:

Basic Techniques
Spoiler:

Phoenix Release Techniques
Spoiler:

Fire Release Techniques
Spoiler:

Kicking Taijutsu
Spoiler:

Armor:
Spoiler:


Last edited by Footwork on Wed 05 Jan 2011, 6:12 am; edited 7 times in total
Back to top Go down
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyTue 04 Jan 2011, 8:03 pm

Name: Stymphalian Secretary Bird
Rank: A
Appearance:
Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Secretary-Bird
A majestic mainly terrrestrial bird, the Stymphalian Secretery Bird has Alternating black and white feathers, a head crowned in black feathers and feirce fire red shadow around their black eyes and yellow beak. The bird itself stands on long skinny stork like legs that give it a definant height advantage when standing at its maximum 13 foot height. Even with it's size and land bird structure it is still very capable of flight, which is surprising to many others
Contract Type: Blood Contract
Species: Secretary Bird
Speciality: Taijutsu
Elemental Affinity: N/A
Special Abilities/Characteristics: N/A
Personal Information: His interest in mythical birds due to his own personal ability modelling that of the phoenix. In his surrogate home in rice country a flock of these savanah birds roam the abandoned rice fields eating the free growing rice in the flooded savannah plains. However, rumor had it that a select few mimiced a mythical bird themselves, and this perked his interest. He thus spent some time at home tracking these birds until he found one that was exactly what he had heard. He challenged the bird in a race, in which the swift bird laughed and excepted, however little did he know he was dealing with a shinobi. When he won the race, he took the bird himself as his prize and in his pride he had to accept his defeat.

They slowly grew on each other, him and his personal summon, though he is well aware that the majority of their meeting is in a combat situation, and thus is usually pretty serious upon first being summoned though has a more relaxed and even slap stick relationship with his rival and summoner Jax.

Summons Jutsu:

Name: Stymphalian Kunai
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: C
Element: N/A
Description: The user infuses their feathers with chakra to harden them into steel like blades. They flap their wings and launch these feathers at a target with the same deadly quality as a kunai.

Name: Tailwind Sprint
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: C
Element: N/A
Description: A classic Trample effect technique in which the users runs while flapping their wings to generate a backward gust to propell themselves and increase their speed, then run through a number of opponents.

Name: Snake Slayer
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: C
Element: N/A
Description: An attack with the talons where the user jumps and flaps to hover while slashing vertically when their legs; keeping themselves out of range of close attack while using their long legs to attack at mid-range length.

Name: Stymphalian Armor
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: B
Element: N/A
Description: The user infuses their feathers with chakra as well as tensing the muscles to to ruffle the feathers; making them hard as steel. This not only makes a temporary armor, but also a powerful weapon, as the sharpened feathers make blades as well.


Last edited by Footwork on Wed 05 Jan 2011, 3:20 am; edited 2 times in total
Back to top Go down
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyTue 04 Jan 2011, 8:03 pm

Complete!
Back to top Go down
Aaron
Aaron

Age : 28
Posts : 2538

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyTue 04 Jan 2011, 8:54 pm

Quote :
Name: Fire Inspiration
Rank: C-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Fenton [Phoenix]
Description: This is a technique in which the user can adapt any Fire Release Technique to Phoenix release in which the effect will be equally healing where it would otherwise be destructive.

Name: Flame Immersion
Rank: A
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Fenton [Phoenix]
Description: A Fenton technique in which the user will purposefully intercept an incoming fire technique used by an opponent. In doing so, they can absorb the fire with the pheonix flame and rejuvinate an amount of chakra equal to the rank of the incoming attack.

These two jutsu have not been approved in your Clan Application.
Back to top Go down
http://www.ultimateshinobi.com
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyTue 04 Jan 2011, 9:48 pm

I am aware. Unless I am mistaken, clan jutsu can be customized further then just the clan application.
Back to top Go down
Aaron
Aaron

Age : 28
Posts : 2538

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyTue 04 Jan 2011, 9:59 pm

Are you saying that these jutsu are exclusive to your character, then?
Back to top Go down
http://www.ultimateshinobi.com
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyTue 04 Jan 2011, 10:19 pm

Yessir.
Back to top Go down
Aaron
Aaron

Age : 28
Posts : 2538

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyTue 04 Jan 2011, 11:07 pm

Okay then, I was just making sure, 'cuz it was a little confusing. Smile
Back to top Go down
http://www.ultimateshinobi.com
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyWed 05 Jan 2011, 1:14 am

Haha, I understand! Sooo... does Everything check out otherwise?
Back to top Go down
Vegapunk
Vegapunk

Posts : 2032

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyWed 05 Jan 2011, 2:24 am

- Your personality and appearance need to be more detailed. We have a two paragraph minimum but I would suspect a jounin would be able to produce more. Wink

- Not too sure about the fairy back story with nymphs etc with your armour. Perhaps you would be able to find a more suitable explanation. The actual wood itself is fine, just the fantasy side of things is a little far-fetched. Also, even though they are A-ranked I would like you to put in a number of accumulated "hits" in which the armour faces at an A-ranked level e.g c an withstand 'x' amount of hits instead of an A-rank impenetrable defense as you do not have weaponry as a spec.

- Also, your summon must have the same elemental affinity that you do so please edit. This is to make sure that people do not try and gain a 'cheap' extra element from making a summon, or specialty in that regard.


-- Other than that everything here looks good. Smile

Back to top Go down
http://www.ultimateshinobi.com
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyWed 05 Jan 2011, 3:29 am

-Adequate information applied

-Summon stripped of element, Limited to three A-ranked blows, though I dont necessarily mean that block techniques. You are correct that I dont have weaponry, but I do have taijutsu!

-And the thing about the nymph was just the mythic side story, not the reality of the woods origin.
Back to top Go down
Vegapunk
Vegapunk

Posts : 2032

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyWed 05 Jan 2011, 3:44 am

Caranore's Input which is granted;

- First off is the 'Birth by Flame' jutsu. the main thing I see wrong with this is that there is no post duration. For an A-Rank of chakra, you ges a cloack of chakra that heals you within a posts time, for an undefined amount of time. If you starts that at the beginning of a fight, anything excluding a killing blow is essentially disregarded. Please note duration

- The second problem I found is 'Flame Immersion'. While the idea of the jutsu is grand, by expending the same amount of chakra as a Katon jutsu that he is being targeted with, he can absorb said jutsu and replenish his chakra, both negating an attack and not wasting any chakra to do so.

- Heat Seeking Kunai should be B-Rank since he is imbuing chakra into a weapon, making the weapon B-Rank in classification due to the chakra conductive rules.

- Supernova's A-Rank/S-Rank radius should be limited. 100 meter diameter instantly combusting after 1 post charge period is a tiny bit unbelievable. Even Amaretsu didnt have that range, and if it did, well, its Amaretsu. Decrease the range to at the most 50m.

- Armor of Vulcan, unless extra chakra is expended to prevent the body from overheating and dehydrating at an exponential rate needs to be removed in my opinion. By the description, he is heating up his body to the point of combustion on any surface such as paper or wood. Instant combustion I might add. That technique also needs a post limit, otherwise he can again use it at the start of the battle and and negate any Taijutsu or Close Range Weaponry the entire battle, preventing also killing by use of Genjutsu since one would need to get close to him to kill him while in Genjutsu just from the examples shown in the manga.

Please fix these aspects.
Back to top Go down
http://www.ultimateshinobi.com
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyWed 05 Jan 2011, 4:42 am

-Birth By Flames was given a limit/cool down.

-Flame Immersion was removed

-Heat Seeker = B-rankedified

-I apologizing if it sounded wrong, the technique progresses with every turn that passes, meaning that it will reach A-ranked form on the 3rd post and S-ranked form on the 4th post. Waiting 3 posts without using ninjutsu is quite the disadvantage so an S-ranked technique.

-A limit/cool down was awarded to 'Armor of Vulcan', however I disagree that it would have any negative effects on the user. Plenty of elemental techniques alter the body in offensive and defensive ways without logistical penalty to the user. It was also downgraded to B-ranked so that the defensive qualities is trumped by A-ranked techniques by virtue of the ranking system.
Back to top Go down
Vegapunk
Vegapunk

Posts : 2032

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyWed 05 Jan 2011, 5:03 am

Quote :
-I apologizing if it sounded wrong, the technique progresses with every turn that passes, meaning that it will reach A-ranked form on the 3rd post and S-ranked form on the 4th post. Waiting 3 posts without using ninjutsu is quite the disadvantage so an S-ranked technique.
Ahh I get it now, all good brutha.

Quote :
-A limit/cool down was awarded to 'Armor of Vulcan', however I disagree that it would have any negative effects on the user. Plenty of elemental techniques alter the body in offensive and defensive ways without logistical penalty to the user. It was also downgraded to B-ranked so that the defensive qualities is trumped by A-ranked techniques by virtue of the ranking system.
For you to raise your own bodies temperature above the normal there would definitely be some consequence's from that for sure. When the body is above its natural temperature many things happen e.g incr sweating, dizziness, balance problems etc. But, perhaps there should be a limit to once per thread of the use to counter this?
Back to top Go down
http://www.ultimateshinobi.com
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyWed 05 Jan 2011, 5:57 am

The Earth Spear technique allows the user to petrify themselves into stone seemingly at will to make themselves indestructible. As far as the science behind petrified, the physiological changes of being turned to stone is much more extreme, though the user isn't fossilized by it.

Hell, there is someone with a clan who has immunity to lightning and fire and skin as harder then most metals and that without any draw backs.

So heating the surface of the body without effecting ones self isn't unreasonable. I mean, how do people erupt fire from their lungs without burning.. everything?
Back to top Go down
Caranore
Caranore

Age : 35
Posts : 1492

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyWed 05 Jan 2011, 6:05 am

Goukayuu no jutsu and related Katon techniques do not create the fire in the lungs and then emit it. The chakra is molded in the lungs and then when exhaled is turned into fire. If you watch Sasuke carefully in the anime when he uses this technique, you will see the fire start near the entrance to his mouth, not coming from the back of it.

The main problem with this technique is as follows:

Quote :
this dramatically heats the body to the point that simply touching a combustable surface and light it ablaze.

You are not, based on your description, heating up the surface of your skin, but your entire body. THAT makes this jutsu unstable for yourself, since by the entire body you include organs, muscles, bones, arteries, brain, everything.

Earth Spear technique does not affect the entire body, just the surface, which is hardened by the chakra. That essentially means that the arm or limb is covered in the earth chakra, but is not changed on a cellular level.

Leaf Ninja wrote:
Doton • Domu is a Ninjutsu technique utilized by Akatsuki member Kakuzu. After forming the needed Snake handseal, Kakuzu will harden his body using the Earth Element. This provides greater defense against attack and will also strengthen his arm to increase his striking ability. Like other Doton based jutsu, it is weak against Raiton attacks.
Back to top Go down
http://www.ultimateshinobi.com
Footwork
avatar

Posts : 19

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyWed 05 Jan 2011, 6:12 am

Thank you Caranore,

Alright, I've reworded is as such to make up for my previous poor description;

Name: Armor of Volcan
Rank: B
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Katon [Fire]
Description: A technique in which the body is enveloped in fire element chakra; this dramatically heats the surface of the body to the point that simply touching a combustable surface and light it ablaze. The heat is controlled to radiate outward; away from the user only, thus not burning the self. Those attacking at close promixaty will be severly burned upon making contact with an attack. A technique that can last up to 4 posts, however has a cool down equal to the amount of time used.
Back to top Go down
Caranore
Caranore

Age : 35
Posts : 1492

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyWed 05 Jan 2011, 9:47 pm

Alrighty, since thats all been taken care of...

Supernova requires charging... Vulcans been redone... Alrighty, that looks good to me.

Approved by me, but it is still going to require Todds approval for your rank.
Back to top Go down
http://www.ultimateshinobi.com
Vegapunk
Vegapunk

Posts : 2032

Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] EmptyThu 06 Jan 2011, 2:52 am

Approved. Welcome to Kumo the greatest nation of all!
Back to top Go down
http://www.ultimateshinobi.com
Sponsored content


Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Fenik, Jax [Kumo Jonin] Empty

Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
-