Azien Jakunen-Shin[Kumo Genin]

Age : 26 Posts : 209

Basic Information:

Name:
Azien Jakunen-Shin
Secondary Title:
The White King
Age:
11
Gender:
Male
Physical Appearance:

Azien's hair is a delicate urban red. His hair catches and refects the sun quite well.
His white robes are often flutering around his body, they designed so that they can hide his movments. The robes are made in two parts that are held together by the seal at the front. Underneath the robes he has a purple\blue shirt with a white neck.
When walking it looks like he is gliding across the ground.
Azien has round glasses that he is constantly pushing up his nose. The glasses give his angled face some roundness that he would otherwise lack.
His skin is a light texture that complements and adds too his hairs effects.
Azien's face holds a mixture of young and old, this comes from his clans trait of being reborn, Aziens real age is 58. Since Azien has spent years homing his body and other skills Azien is suprisingly powerful for the rank of Genin. He is stronger then most would think and can control his body perfectly.
He also hold memories of his past self, who had different skills to him, this allows him insight into how these skills operate thus gtranting him some knowlage of weaponry and medical jutsu.

Personality:
Azien acts in an aristocratic manner — he seems always serene and apathetic towards other people, even when he is actually deeply conflicted. He is also extremely calm, even in battle, and is very seldom surprised by even the most drastic of actions. He rarely shows any sign of alarm or distress and often has entire situations planned out well in advance. Whenever confronted, Aizen is casual and uncaring, attempting to draw out a conversation and make small talk, which often infuriates the one he is talking to.
Azien can usually be found near the scene of an important event, either showing up in time or being a little late, but rarely steps in to intervene, preferring to be in the sidelines. He often tends to know more information about most of the people he's in contact with. Although being a major player, he usually portrays himself as only the catalyst, having others do the work for him.

Despite Azien's strong sense of honor, his will to win can waiver at times, which directly affects his overall energy levels and fighting abilities. His absolute resolve is depicted by his eyes glowing bright blue and his body being engulfed in a bright blue aura.
Azien has some trouble with authority and traditional respect, often quite rude and disrespectful when talking to those older than himself

Azien hates fortune telling, horoscopes, fengshui, psychics and anyone whose trade involves taking money from people for things that they cannot see. He has difficulty remembering people's faces and names. Azien becomes extremely shy and uncomfortable around nude or immodestly dressed women

Catch Phrase:
"Why are you putting so much distance between us? If you want to make sure it hits me, then you should get close and fire. Or is it that you're afraid of letting even a part of me out of your field of vision by getting close? If that's the case, then it's a foolish thought. Distance only has meaning in a fight between equals. With you and I, distance holds no meaning at all. Watch... If I do this, my hand is almost instantly at your heart."

"A first class ninja can read his opponent's heart just by trading blows with them once, if only for a second: So can you see whats in my heart"

Clan Information:

Clan Name:
Necromite
Clan Location:
Global
Clan Traits:
Necrotic Chakra:
All Necromites have a highly increased amount of chakra, nearly double the quantity a normal ninja would possess for their age or rank due to the advanced age of most Necromites and their ventures into death and life. Necromites, however, cannot use their chakra internally and thus cannot perform many jutsu, especially those of the Medical category.

Some jutsu can be replicated with external chakra, but they must have a solid form. Thus Necromites are unable to utilize the vast majority of Fuuton justu, and usually steer clear of using the element. The majority of Necromite utilize Katon, in contrast, because all of its jutsu have a physical form. Necromite chakra also is highly visible, unlike normal chakra, since the external form is a notably large blaze.

Death Sense:
Necromites are innately able to determine whether or not something has life within it, and are thus not fooled by clones, substitutions, etc. Only real creatures, not jutsu created creatures or clones, have 'life' within them which radiates like a white fiery aura around them. This aura cannot be hidden or repressed, unless by another Necromite, and all Necromites give off a gray aura rather than a white one since they have only limited 'life' in them.

A dead thing is very easily noted by a Necromite and thus they cannot be fooled by 'playing dead'. A dead object, animal, person, etc. gives off a bright flash of white, which blinds Necromites for a post if they are able to directly see it, and then has no aura. This flash is at the moment of death, some so called 'instanteous deaths' have been reported by Necromites to actually have lasted a few seconds, which were unbearably horrible to the afflicted person.

This sense is not sight, hearing, taste, etc. and they can simply 'sense' it visually, even if they are otherwise blinded or unable to see through some other method. The sense is only hampered when blinded by a flash of light from a dying ninja, this blindness affects ever a Necromite's Death Sense.

Undead Stamina:
Necromites have an increased level of stamina, which is used in place of chakra consumption for most of their techniques, which is further explained in the jutsu section of this application. Necromites have a 25% increase in stamina over normal ninja due to their increased life time and thus more time to perfectly hone their bodies to act according to their wishes.

Second Chance:
All Necromite clan members were former ninja of other villages, clans, ranks, etc. that were formerly deceased. Necromites do not retain any of their former clan abilities, though they do retain a memory and thus are often much wiser than younger ninja. They have often lived through events that no other ninja has even heard of, and some predate the ninja era completely, being raised as civilians and training as ninja are their resurrection.

Their is a healthy dose of mystery involved in how this process is done, and the Necromites have yet, in their thousands of years of existence, to reveal the secret or allow anyone who knows it to educate others. No Necromite, even those who raise others, has memory of the ritual after leaving the clan's ziggurat. Thus, the secret is maintained and only breaking into the building would be able to yield the answer, though it is heavily guarded with at least fifty clan members at the front gates alone, each highly capable shinobi.

Those that make attempts to break in are caught, killed, and resurrected as Necromites. They then pull the information of the attack out of the newly born Necromite, and seek revenge on the ninja's employer. More than one suspicious Kage had died from this, so few are likely to repeat the results since these deaths are very widely spread in order to ensure the safety of the clan's secrets.

The raising takes the form of a ritual in which deceased ninja are thrown into a deep pit which seems to have no end, or one the clan members have ever reached, and the pit is filled with a mysterious green fog which is known as the god of the Necromite clan, Rawush. Rawush invigorates worthy corpses and brings the life back into them by filling them with portions of himself, if he deems them worthy. Raised corpses claw into the sides of the pit and climb back up, if they make it they are welcomed as Necromites, if they do not they plummet into the unknown.

The validity of Rawush is questionable, and some Necromites in the temple believe that he may be an intelligent jutsu designed by their ancestors. These thoughts fade when they leave the temple grounds, on hourly cycles to decrease the odds of obtaining the information, and the instructions are given to each Necromite that enters by a voice in their head, believed to be Rawush. The secret of the clan is thus excessively protected.

(Note: Though ninja are raised, they may not die in RP and enter into this clan. The clan is like every other clan in that a character must be created from it, no character in RP may die and enter into this clan, be aware of this fact. Slain clan members cannot be re-raised.)

Kekkei Genkai:
Skeleton Eyes (Gaikotsuame)

Necromites are an ancient group that is composed of a variety of other ninja groups or clans who in life possessed powerful abilities, and some with Doujutsu, but in death they have been forced to revert to a lower level of skill with new abilities, including the fearsome Gaikotsuame, or Necrotic Eyes.

The Gaikotsuame takes the form of a normal eye until it is activated, through the will of the user. Once activated, however, the eye rapidly takes on an appearance like glass until it becomes completely clear and reveals two symbols carved into the back of the Necromite's eyes. The symbols are the kanji for 'Death' and for 'Life'.

Once active the eyes release a seal on the users body and the kanji illuminate with black fire as the bodies chakra is forced to take an external form. The chakra comes out as a black blaze that comes out from every point in the body and causes the user to retake their appearance on the date of their resurrection as a Necromite. Older Necromites have their skin melted away to reveal pure bone with the younger simply develop taunt white flesh and some exposed bones or muscle.

The chakra outside of the body takes a visible form and can be used for Necromite clan jutsu, as internal chakra is of little use to clan members. This flame burns brightly and according to rank reachs out a certain distance from the user, though it does not burn or cause any harmful effects beyond an eerie chill than effects even those ninja from snowy regions with a horrible feeling of cold.

With each post the chakra is sent out, it increases in size like a creeping plague that devours the nearby surroundings and turns them into solid black as the flames consume them. The larger the range the more power and options the Necromite has in their attacks.

Necromite Rank Chakra Size Expansion Rate
D 3ft. 1/2ft.
C 5ft. 1ft.
B 7ft. 1.5ft.
A 10ft. 2ft.
S 15ft. 3ft.

Phantom Eyes (Konpakuame)

Some Necromites are able to advance beyond their initial level of Doujutsu by taking the eyes of another ninja and devouring them whole. This consumption is rarely tolerated by a Necromite's allies so its often done in secret so as to not arouse prejudice or suspicions that the user may be some kind of evil. After the eyes are ingested, the Necromite's bodily chakra is immediately forced out and forms a solid black coccoon around the Necromite.

This pupa form of a Necromite puts the affected ninja into a coma like slumber. Those with the ability to sense chakra can sense that the cocoon is heavily laden with a dark chakra and is thus not a wise thing to attack. If attacked, the cocoon uses a technique similar to Shushin and moves away from the attacker. If attacks are repeated, the cocoon will fire out tendrils of itself that pierce the ninja's body with incredible speed. This attack is not designed to be lethal, but it will knock an opponent out with ease.

The cocoon resembles a caterpillar pupa and simply lays on the ground where the eyes were ingested unless moved. The strands of the cocoon are very popular for making dark-aligned ninja weapons since they house great amounts of chakra per strand. Necromites usually hide themselves away for the duration of their metamorphosis. The cocoon lasts for three days and three nights and when the time is up, the strands unzip themselves to reveal an awakened Necromite.

After emerging from the cocoon the Necromite has the Kanji for 'Soul' written in both of their irises in the opposite colour of their normal iris colour so it stands out. These new eyes enable expulsion of body chakra in amounts rather than in the whole. This means a clan member can expel only a few feet from their arms, or from their heads, or make shapes out of it. Growth can also be halted at will, though growth by default continues in the same quantity regardless of how much is pushed out of the body.

If the eyes are taken from the Necromite, they revert to their initial stage. If implanted in another ninja, they speak to the ninja in a rasping voice that edges them on every time they see someone to tear out their eyes and eat them. If this is done, the Phantom Eyes are regained.

At this level, the user's base amount of chakra is increased by 10 feet when released externally, expansion rate stays the same.

Soul Eyes (Kontaname)

The highest level of a Necromite's Doujutsu, the Kontaname is a level attainable only through an action that few Necromites would consider, they have to die again. This death, however, has to be a planned death utilizing a special dagger given to all Necromites who achieve the Konpakuame. The dagger must be thrust through the heart and then thrust through the heart of another ninja while the blood is still fresh.

Once this is done, both ninja instantly collapse, dead, to the ground and find themselves in a dark place devoid of any features beyond an endless expanse. In this place, the Necromite's bodily chakra comes out white rather than black, and the necessity to escape this plane is sent to both persons almost instantly to their brains. Kill the other, and have their power, and their freedom...

Needless to say, some jutsu are not usable in this plane, such as many Doton techniques since the plane lacks any earth. There are no terrain features to use, no allies, just pure combat in an infinite realm between the two persons. When one of the two ninja trapped in this dimension is slain, they are asked a question by the same voice that stated the instructions, 'Will you take your prize?'

If answered with a yes, then the user is thrust back into their body, their opponent remaining dead to find the battle didn't even take a second to complete. Once they fully come to they awake to find their eyes to have changed into pure black and if the Necromite lost, the new recipient of the Kontaname gains all the Doujutsu abilities of the Necromite. These are in addition to whatever Doujutsu ability the clan member may themselves already have. If only one eye has an ability, it occupies that eye, if both do, then it occupies one at the obtainer's OOC choice. The eye may not be refused.

After the battle, the Kontaname has the ability to force out an opponents chakra in a manner similar to the Necromite's own with a look, the chakra being slowly forced out of the body over a three post period, taking 33%~ of the opponent's chakra per post. The technique requires maintained eye contact, though not neccessarily 'sight' (invisibility will not stop this) and the jutsu will continue so long as the user can regain contact with an opponent in a few seconds (a post.) If halted prematurely, the technique is considered 'finished' and incurs all the penalties, though only the chakra extracted is extracted out of the body.

When this is done, the opposing ninja is able to see their visible chakra expelled from their body, granting them all the weaknesses of the chakra without the benefits from being a Necromite (the time, natural expertise, stamina, etc.). The chakra has a similar size and expansion rate as a Necromite of the same rank, but other ninja lack the training and are rarely able to use the chakra since it is a completely foreign concept to them. The target's chakra remains externalized so long as they remain conscious, the body restoring balance during the resting period caused by sleep, unconsciousness, or death.

The Kontaname's effect is maintained for 3 posts before the user's eyes revert to their normal color and have a 5 post resting period before they can be used again. The first post of the resting period, the user is blind as the eyes readjust and the internal chakra reserve will be inaccessible as the eyes readjust to their passive state, using this chakra to stabilize themselves. If a non-Necromite achieves this level of Doujutsu, using this causes their chakra to come out as well as their opponents, and individual training with external chakra is needed to make any use of the ability.

At this level, the base amount of chakra of the user when using it externally increases by 10ft and the expansion rate increases by 2ft.

Secret Clan Jutsu:
Secret Clan Jutsu:

Note: Due to the external nature of the chakra system, jutsu do not consume 'chakra' in a sense since they are a direct manipulation of chakra. Instead, they consume an equivalent amount of bodily stamina, giving them the same limits as a ninja's chakra system, though not in the same sense. In addition, since the body needs some chakra to survive, an amount of chakra is left in the body and is measured in points according to the user's rank. Necromite jutsu that use this internal chakra reserve state how many points they take out of the reserve. If the reserve is reduced to 0, the Necromite dies.

Rank of Necromite Chakra Reserve
D 5pt
C 10pt
B 15pt
A 20pt
S 35pt

At anytime a Necromite may release his/her internal reserve and put it into external chakra, though this is rarely done and if done only in emergencies, adding 2ft of length per 5 points expelled from the body into external chakra. This internal reserve can be damaged like a normal chakra system, though this does not inhibit a Necromite like it would a normal ninja.

Also, please note the term 'consume', 'use', etc. is used for the use of chakra in jutsu. The chakra is not actually 'consumed', it doesn't go anywhere or fade from existance, it simply serves to say that X amount of chakra is used in this jutsu. If the chakra stays within the range of the Necromite's external chakra, it flows back into the chakra when its done being used. If it exits, then it fades away into nothing and that chakra is lost.

Name: Skeleton Style: Chakra Hardening
Type: None
Rank: E
Element: None
Description: A Necromite uses their external chakra and causes a portion of it to harden to a physical density similar to a kunai's material and enabling it to be used to both defend and attack. Chakra may be added to this jutsu equivalent to the rank of jutsu the defensive strength is to be considered, but by default it is E Rank.

Name: Skeleton Style: Solid Formation
Type: None
Rank: E
Element: None
Description: A Necromite jutsu used almost solely for social purposes. The user's chakra takes the form of a simple object, such as a hammock, chair, pillow, etc. and retains that shape for as long as the Necromite's chakra is out. The created object cannot be a weapon, and any created object is as hard as paper when attacked though it adopts the properties of the object it resembles otherwise (Ex. a chakra bed would be as soft as a normal bed.)

Name: Zombie Style: Slide
Type: None
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite, with their chakra externalized, makes the surface of their chakra below them flat, requiring little chakra and being so basic Academy level Necromites can perform it. This enables them to rapidly skate, at a Shushin like speed, to another area in their chakra, though they cannot move more than 5ft within one post.

Name: Zombie Style: Grave Claws
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their external chakra to form into a claw, or multiple claws, using the chakra's current radius for claw reach. This number may be divided among multiple claws or put into a single claw, either way not all of the chakra must be used in this jutsu and expansion still occurs, just not with the chakra in the claw so the reach stays the same until more chakra is put into a claw with another use of this jutsu.

Name: Zombie Style: Needle Hail
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their chakra to rise up in a wave that reaches up to a number of feet in height as desired, and as wide as desired, though this amount cannot exceed the clan member's total amount of chakra. The chakra forms into needles and fires off five arrows per foot of space that attack opponents within the chakra's shape with dense chakra arrows.

Name: Zombie Style: Rising Wall
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user slams their palms on the ground and causes all currently active external chakra to halt its current motion or jutsu and return to the user in the shape of a wall that reaches half the total length of chakra in height to protect the user from attacks. It is considered D Rank for defensive purposes, but more chakra can be put into the jutsu equal to the rank desired to defend against to increase its rank to the same letter.

Name: Zombie Style: Choke Punch
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user gathers 2 feet of chakra and wraps it around their hand before delivering a punching motion to an opponent. If the opponent dodges the attack, the chakra unwinds and grabs the opponent if they remain within 2ft of the punch, and if it collides the chakra reaches up to the opponents neck, if its long enough, and starts to choke them. The hand chokes with the same strength as the user, thus weaker clan members rarely use the technique, and can be torn off the body by a greater strength than itself fairly easily, coming off like tape if pulled.

Name: Zombie Style: Dark Cloud
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their chakra to rise up in a mist, rather than its normal solid form. This mist covers a 3ft area per foot of external chakra used to create it, though this chakra cannot be used for jutsu without re-condensing the chakra into a solid form which requires another use of this jutsu and takes a few seconds to occur, allowing the opponent some reaction time. In its cloud form, vision is inhibited, even for the user (though with their ability to sense 'life' they are still able to keep track of an opponent) and is thick enough to inhibit all vision beyond the cloudy chakra without special traits or jutsu.

Name: Banshee Style: Crushing Jaw
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user purposely moves his/her own chakra out of the way of an attack by causing a hole to form that allows the attack to pass through for a split second before the hole grows razor edges and slams shut. This technique can destroy C Rank projectiles and it can also cut off limbs caught in it. The size of the hole depends on how large the attack is and must be large enough to fit around the attack or attacker.

Name: Banshee Style: Guillotine Slice
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user makes a solid sheet of chakra fly towards an opponent, typically one mid-attack so that they're reaction time is incredibly slowed, and slashes through their body like a guillotine. The attack is halted by other jutsu or weapons at a higher rank and takes a few seconds to break through equally ranked defensive measures. If unhalted, however, it can easily cut through bone and an opponent's body. The attack reaches as many feet as are used for this jutsu but always requires at least 1ft to compensate for the depth of a human body, Akimichi or other large ninja take 2ft.

Name: Banshee Style: Flash Wall
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu, one of the few that adds chakra rather than using the already created chakra. The user holds out their palm and creates a small flat circle, about 2in in diameter, that is made of the same black flame chakra as the rest of the Necromite's chakra. This is created out of a small reserve in the body and consumes 2 points of chakra reserve.

Name: Banshee Style: Field of Flowers
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their chakra to reach out into spikes and become a barbed defense and offense. Ninja currently within range of the user's chakra and pierced by the spikes, especially if they're feet are in contact with it. Opponents in such a condition have their soles stuck to the ground by the sudden burst of spikes, which holds them in place unless they take the time to remove the chakra spike or if they break their own leg to escape. Those who are not in contact with the ground are still harmed by the spikes, just not with any particularly strange effects beyond piercing damage. This jutsu consumes 3ft of the chakra to cover the whole of the user's chakra with spikes, and this justu remains until dismissed.

Name: Banshee Style: Sloshing Wave
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. Similar to Skeleton Style: Slide, the user causes their chakra to become flat and slick. This causes running opponents to slip and fall, and increases the total length by 3ft when in use since it compacts the chakra's shape. Other Necromite jutsu cannot be used while the chakra is forced into this behavior.

Name: Banshee Style: Vision of the Night
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user forms a solid sphere of chakra consuming a half a foot of external chakra. This sphere resembles an eye and maintains a solid shape. The user is able to see out of this eye as though it were one of his own so long as one of his own eyes remains closed, so that his total vision never increases due to an increase of eye quantity.

Name: Banshee Style: Hundred Needle Burst
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their chakra to rise up and form into needles which fire off an opponent. Each needle is an inch long and consumes that much chakra to fire off. A number of needles may be fired off as chakra is used, and each fires off at high speed, comparable to an average senbon.

Name: Demon Style: Falling Fangs
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes 4ft of their chakra to rise up over an opponent, first knocking them to the ground if they are standing on the used chakra due to the sudden jerk, and then forming a half-sphere around them that encloses them in the Necromite's chakra. The jutsu then causes hundreds of small fangs to develop on the interior and collapse around an opponent, crushing their body and inflicting heavy damage before reverting to its normal state and revealing the often mangled corpse of the jutsu target.

Name: Demon Style: Shattering Chill
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their chakra to grow in its already abnormal chill, increasing the cold to a level that immediately shatters the concentration of the opponent, breaking jutsu that are being formed and halting focus for continuous jutsu. This chill lasts only a few seconds and then disappears, but these few seconds are all it takes to break even the most complex jutsu while the ninja is forming it. Ninja used to incredibly low temperatures, such as those who use the Hyouton element, can ignore the effects on this jutsu, most ninja cannot.

This jutsu uses some of the Necromite chakra reserve and consumes 5 points of it.

Name: Demon Style: Serpent Bite
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user gathers 1ft of their chakra around a hand that takes the shape of a skeletal gauntlet. Any organic thing that hand touches, usually the limbs of an opponent, is infected as the chakra moves onto that thing and rapidly condensing to crush it. This is frequently used against Taijutsu users to crush limbs.

Name: Demon Style: Tearing Lance
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user gathers 5ft of external chakra and creates a large lance, about 3ft in length, that is able to be used by the creator. The land is covered in small razor edges which cause it to resemble an elongated mace with a point. The lance is designed to shred and deal heavy damage, but is not as useful for piercing or slashing due to the razor edges inhibiting this and getting easily stuck in human flesh. When the lance becomes lodged in an opponent, the user may cause the chakra to disperse and swarm around the body, binding the hands and feet of the target with a split second delay after impact.

Name: Demon Style: Tendrils of Madness
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their external chakra to become various tendrils of pure, solid, chakra. The tendrils have a minimum of 1ft of length, as many tendrils may be created as desired (assuming enough chakra is present) and the size of each tendril depends on the decision of the user upon creation. In tendril moves at high speed and comes out of a thin blanket of black chakra on the ground. They are able to tangle opponent if they are 3ft or longer, binding their arms or legs.

Name: Demon Style: Thousand Needle Burst
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user creates a number of needles out of their external chakra to fire off at bullet-comparable speed at an opponent. Each needle consumes a half inch of chakra and as many may be created as chakra is consumed to use this jutsu.

Name: Demon Style: Black Suit
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes all of their current external chakra to gather around their body and form into a suit of solid chakra that resembles black armor. The armor is an inch think per 5ft used in this jutsu and each inch is considered a C Rank defense, with a one letter increase per inch of thickness, thus 3in thick armor would be considered A Rank. If this would cause the armor to be considered higher than S Rank, a new level of armor is simply added starting at D Rank this time. External layers must be broken first to reach internal layers of the armor.

Name: Lich Style: Aid From Hel
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: A
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user creates a battle companion which resembles a vague humanoid that is made of pure chakra. This jutsu consumes 10ft of external chakra and creates a effective clone that is treated as A Rank for attack and defense. The clone is able to manipulate its body at will and does not resemble the user beyond vague details. Thus the creation is a formidable threat, able to manipulate its body to dodge or increase the effectiveness of attacks, and a great nuisance.

Name: Lich Style: Black Cross
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: A
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their chakra to rise up around an opponent, who must be within the user's external chakra, and bind them at incredible speeds faster than the majority of ninja's reaction time. The chakra binds them and forms into a large cross that then lifts them up off the ground, at this point consuming 5ft of external chakra, and forms spikes in the hands and feet of the bound opponent. The spikes then spread out to cover the hands and feet, holding them firmly to the cross and preventing escape or movement.

Name: Lich Style: Speed Penalty
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: A
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. This jutsu is usable only while an opponent is utilizing Shushin or Substution. The user rapidly attaches 3ft of their chakra to the body of the opponent before they complete their movement, and thus when the arrive in their intended location, they find themselves covered in the chakra. Necromite jutsu can then be used with this chakra, serving as a heavy penalty for those who try to outpace a Necromite.

Name: Lich Style: Chakra Explosives
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: A
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their chakra to become more lethal by creating very small chakra balls in their current external chakra which are able to detonate into a small explosion. This jutsu does not reveal any changes, even with the ability to sense chakra since the chakra hasn't changed enough to note. If the chakra contacts an opponent, every foot of chakra can be used to create a 3ft diameter explosion and thus greatly increases the lethality of Necromite jutsu.

Name: Lich Style: Million Needle Burst
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: A
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user creates a hail of needles from their chakra similar to the others in the Needle Burst chain of jutsu. This consumes a half inch per needle created, but unlike the others in this chain, the used chakra strikes and then leaks back to the user, taking a post to move back to the main body of chakra, thus regaining any chakra used for the technique a post later. Each needle is at bullet speed.

Name: Damned Style: Infinite Needle Burst
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: S
Element: None
Description: A high level forbidden Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their chakra to rise up into the air and rain down needles. The number of needles, unlike others in the Needle Burst chain of jutsu, has no definite amount and is instead based on a range. The chakra sent into the air rains down an uncountable number of needles over the area it covers, so 5ft of chakra covers a 5ft diameter area and rains down needles on that area, each at bullet comparable speed, making this a difficult (if possible) justu to dodge.

Name: Vision of Intent
Type: None
Rank: E-S
Element: None
Description: An unusual Necromite jutsu that lacks the normal classification of jutsu. This jutsu does not take external chakra, and instead consumes internal chakra. The Necromite must match eyes with an opponent and then sends an image to the opponent's mind, which has a variety of effects according to rank:

E Rank: A vision of minor pain, such as a stab with a kunai, may be sent to an opponent. (1pt)
D Rank: A vision of moderate pain, such as loss of a limb, or a spear through a vital organ ay be sent to an opponent. Afflicted limbs and organs in the vision feel numb for a post after the vision occurs. This does little to inhibit an opponent. (3pt)
C Rank: A vision of great pain, such as the loss of multiple limbs or heavy damage by a jutsu or attack. The body parts affected in the vision feel a tinge of pain and this pain can break the focus of an opponent. (5pt)
B Rank: A vision of great pain involving complete bodily destruction is sent to an opponent and stuns them for 1 post as the fear and mental shock of watching their own death keeps them immobile. (7pt)
A Rank: A vision of incredible pain involving repeated bodily destruction lasting an entire post rather than the normal instant occurs that breaks an opponents will, making their defense weaker against illusionary jutsu, reducing their ability to Kai by a letter rank, and also stunning them for the post. (10pt)
S Rank: A vision of horrible and hardly imaginable pain is sent to an opponent as they watch hundreds of ways they could die, each inflicted by the Necromite, in an instant. This commonly shatters the opponents will to fight, and leaves them immobile with pain and fear for two posts. Those affected by the jutsu are brought to the ground and reduced to babbling while the pain consumes them over the two posts. (15pt)

This jutsu only functions if the target is within the Necromites external chakra and is not classified as any particular form of jutsu, though many defenses against Genjutsu will aid in defending against this jutsu, particularly those that protect the eyes from being targeted.

History:
The Necromite clan has little to no history of its own, since it is the formation of various other clans and lacks the tight-knit form of many clans. They do not see one another as family members, rather similarly lucky souls who were granted a second chance. Thus they know very little about one another and cannot be called a clan in the usual sense.

Rawush, and his original Necromites, are believed to come into being after the First Great Shinobi War where soldiers who meet their ends in the field found themselves in the comfort of Rawush, brought back to life through his intercession and given another chance. Most scattered, a few remained and formed the more clan worthy main location.

The true home of the Necromite clan lies deep within Iron Country, beneath the miles of earth, though dozens of other locations have the essence of Rawush with them and are thus able to create clan members. The main location is even more well defended than the other locations and the secondary location (the one mentioned in most of the application since it is readily accessable and pretends to be the true home base.)

Rawush has no apparent 'agenda' and seems interested only in reanimating worthy souls, though he has found considerable resistance by Hellsing. Some speculate that Rawush spends his time plotting how to remove the annoying organization, but the being itself remains silent on the issue and fails to care about what is thought of it

Clan Details:
Open

Rank Information:

Rank:
Genin
Village Affiliation:
Kumo

Special Information:

Character Speciality:
You may pick 2 skills:
Main: Weaponry
Main: Exotic
Sub: Ranged
Sub: Taijutsu
Elemental Affinity:
N/A due to clan.
Special Characteristics:

Intellect:
Azien is one of the most intelligent shinobi the ninja world has seen. With an IQ of 250 Azien can study an opponent, watching their habits, style of walking.
He has also shown himself as a powerful and flexible tactician, capable of adjusting seamlessly to any given combat situation, if not plan out events well in advance. He understands the strengths, weaknesses and mannerisms of his enemies and creates strategies to achieve victory.

Chakra Pressure:
Azien's amount of chakra is powerful enough to be felt by others. Azien can hide his pressence if needed for stealth missions.

Skill Information:

Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza - Act of Water Surface Walking
Rank: E
Type: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: A variation on the Kinobori no Waza (Act of Tree Climbing), the art of water surface walking allows a ninja to walk on water as if it was a solid surface. Focusing an even amount of chakra out of the soles of their feet, they can balance themselves on the very surface of the water

Name: Kinobori no Waza - Act of Tree Climbing
Rank: E
Type: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: Kinobori no Waza, the art of tree climbing serves a dual purpose. Taking part in Kinobori Shugyou (Tree Climbing Training) helps a ninja learn how to focus their chakra. It also teaches the ninja how to run up trees and walk on vertical walls. The training helps the ninja learn how to focus just the right amount of chakra to a particular part of their body. The amount needed to climb is small but it must be precise. The feet are regarded as the hardest location to master chakra focusing. So by gaining the art of this skill, the ninja will have any jutsu available (theoretically) because they will be able to focus their chakra as needed

Name: Explosion Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: The user will activate an explosion tag. Normally, the tag will be placed by them, so they know where it is and can easily activate it.

Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu - Escaping Skill
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: A very basic technique that allows a ninja to escape from rope binds.

Name: Kai - Release
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: Kai is a Ninjutsu technique which allows the ninja to avoid the effects of a Genjutsu illusion. After forming the needed handseals, the Genjutsu technique will not affect the ninja. The ninja can also use the technique on another individual who was unable to avoid the attack. After forming the needed hand seals, the ninja touches the one affected to end the affect of the spell.

Name: Shunshin no Jutsu - Body Flicker Technique
Rank: D
Element: N/A
Description: Shunshin no Jutsu is a basic Ninjutsu technique. The ninja will appear and disappear in an instant, allowing them to retreat or attack suddenly. To facilitate the movement the ninja will often use nearby elements such as mist, sand or leaves to mask their appearance or disappearance.

Name: Skeleton Style: Chakra Hardening
Type: None
Rank: E
Element: None
Description: A Necromite uses their external chakra and causes a portion of it to harden to a physical density similar to a kunai's material and enabling it to be used to both defend and attack. Chakra may be added to this jutsu equivalent to the rank of jutsu the defensive strength is to be considered, but by default it is E Rank.

Name: Skeleton Style: Solid Formation
Type: None
Rank: E
Element: None
Description: A Necromite jutsu used almost solely for social purposes. The user's chakra takes the form of a simple object, such as a hammock, chair, pillow, etc. and retains that shape for as long as the Necromite's chakra is out. The created object cannot be a weapon, and any created object is as hard as paper when attacked though it adopts the properties of the object it resembles otherwise (Ex. a chakra bed would be as soft as a normal bed.)

Name: Zombie Style: Slide
Type: None
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite, with their chakra externalized, makes the surface of their chakra below them flat, requiring little chakra and being so basic Academy level Necromites can perform it. This enables them to rapidly skate, at a Shushin like speed, to another area in their chakra, though they cannot move more than 5ft within one post.

Name: Zombie Style: Grave Claws
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their external chakra to form into a claw, or multiple claws, using the chakra's current radius for claw reach. This number may be divided among multiple claws or put into a single claw, either way not all of the chakra must be used in this jutsu and expansion still occurs, just not with the chakra in the claw so the reach stays the same until more chakra is put into a claw with another use of this jutsu.

Name: Zombie Style: Needle Hail
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their chakra to rise up in a wave that reaches up to a number of feet in height as desired, and as wide as desired, though this amount cannot exceed the clan member's total amount of chakra. The chakra forms into needles and fires off five arrows per foot of space that attack opponents within the chakra's shape with dense chakra arrows.

Name: Zombie Style: Rising Wall
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user slams their palms on the ground and causes all currently active external chakra to halt its current motion or jutsu and return to the user in the shape of a wall that reaches half the total length of chakra in height to protect the user from attacks. It is considered D Rank for defensive purposes, but more chakra can be put into the jutsu equal to the rank desired to defend against to increase its rank to the same letter.

Name: Zombie Style: Choke Punch
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user gathers 2 feet of chakra and wraps it around their hand before delivering a punching motion to an opponent. If the opponent dodges the attack, the chakra unwinds and grabs the opponent if they remain within 2ft of the punch, and if it collides the chakra reaches up to the opponents neck, if its long enough, and starts to choke them. The hand chokes with the same strength as the user, thus weaker clan members rarely use the technique, and can be torn off the body by a greater strength than itself fairly easily, coming off like tape if pulled.

Name: Zombie Style: Dark Cloud
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user causes their chakra to rise up in a mist, rather than its normal solid form. This mist covers a 3ft area per foot of external chakra used to create it, though this chakra cannot be used for jutsu without re-condensing the chakra into a solid form which requires another use of this jutsu and takes a few seconds to occur, allowing the opponent some reaction time. In its cloud form, vision is inhibited, even for the user (though with their ability to sense 'life' they are still able to keep track of an opponent) and is thick enough to inhibit all vision beyond the cloudy chakra without special traits or jutsu.

Name: Necromite Style: Banishing
Rank: D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N\A
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. This jutsu affects the entire radius of their chakra field. When a Summoning jutsu is used inside the chakra field, the Necromite Clan member has a second where they can cancel out the jutsu being performed be interrupting it with their own chakra. The same applies to Fuuinjutsu. With a few differences, The Necromite member is using their chakra to supress the Fuuinjutsu. Like most Necromite techniques it dosen't require any chakra to use, however it will take several feet of chakra to wrap the technique. The amount of feet used is dependent on the rank of the caster of the Summon or Fuuinjutsu:
E Rank-3ft
D Rank-5ft
C Rank-7ft
B Rank-11ft
A Rank-13ft
S Rank-17ft

Since the user of the Fuuinjutsu ir Summon will use their chakra to resitst the seal there is only a amount of time that the chakra field can suppress the Summon or Fuuinjutsu for:
E Rank-2 posts
D Rank-3 posts
C Rank-4 posts
B Rank-5 posts
A Rank-7posts
S Rank-10 posts

After the chakra is used in this method it takes some time for it to cooldown and restore balence to itself:
E Rank-8 posts
D Rank-7 posts
C Rank-6 posts
B Rank-4 posts
A Rank-2 posts
S Rank-1 post.

Note: This jutsu dosen't effect Bijuu Seals. Seals used by clans will be affected until they mover out of the range of the chakra field.

Name: Vampire Style: Angel Of Darkness
Rank: C-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N\A
Description: A Necromite clan jutsu. The user condenses their chakra into the rough shape of wings. These wings can be used for increased speed, offence and defence. The size of the wings dictates the speed and power of them. The size of the wings is decided by how much of the chakra field size is converted into the wings size. Here is a list to show what rank the wings are at the different sizes.
A gosses wings can break a man's arm with a direct hit. These can be deadly given enough force and oppitinity, the level of attack is given be how long they are. For defense they can wrap around Azien to protect him from incoming blows. Since the wings are made for flight they can only block attacks one letter rank below them.
When used for flight it would work like a ninja of the indicated rank had moved. This speed is added onto the original:

6ft long – C Rank
8ft long- B Rank
10ft long – A Rank
12ft long- S Rank
Note: Since this jutsu needs more physical mass than norm, it requires the extra chakra placed into it. Also the wings can reach past the chakra field size limit and remain uneffected. The reason for this is because the wings themselves are effectivly and extension of the field, just forced to grow outwards not in a cirular direction. Therefore it is possible for clan members can use clan jutsu through the wings.

Name: Kuchiyose no Jutsu - Summoning Technique
Rank:C
Type: Ninjutsu
Element:N/A
Description: A powerful jutsu, Ninpo Kuchiyose allows a ninja to summon animals, objects and the dead to fight on their behalf. There are many ways in which the ninja can sign a contract with a summon but it is usually done with the ninja signing a blood contract with the animal species. This allows the user to summon different size and skilled animals to fight along side them, or on their behalf.

Item Template:
Quote:
Name: Shuriken
Rank: E
Type: Weapon
Natural Abilities: A shuriken, like kunai, is one of the more basic weapons seen in Naruto. They are sharpened, four-pronged metal stars, useful for throwing. Although small, they can be used to distract, or, if accurate enough, can be deadly. They have an open circle in the center, used for grabbing with a finger, to avoid cutting oneself, or to put thread through. The circle is also a benefit in aerodynamics, as it ensures more accurate trajectories.

Quote:
Name: Exploding Tags
Rank: E
Type:
Natural Abilities: Exploding tags are scraps of paper inscribed with a special writing, centering around the kanji for "explode" (爆, baku). Infused with chakra, they will explode after a set amount of time, remotely, or after being ignited by flame. The tags can be attached to a surface or wrapped around a weapon to be thrown at an enemy. They are very versatile and one of the basic ninja tools. Ninja can confuse their enemies by obtaining fake Exploding Tags.

[center]Background Information

History:
Resurrection Arc~ The Return
Azien stirred in the sensation of thousands fires lit all over his skin.
Looking up he found himself in a pit. A sudden desire came over him too get to the top. The feeling was irresistible and urgent, following the sensation he began too climb. He found as he progressed the different patches had different levels of difficulty, whether hard too climb or it felt like an illusion was draped over him. The first thing he saw when he woke was a skeleton head daggling over him.
Climbing out of the raging inferno he took a few steps forward before something hit his head like a stone.
Thousands of experiences raced through his brain. A girls face, training to become the most powerful ninja. As those images grew in side his head he progresses further and further thru this persons life.
Then suddenly he came upon the death.
During the 3rd Ninja War while saving his team mates from a kunai assault from the enemy.
A creaking noise radiated from the end of the area. Through the glare of the fire light Azien could see to indistinct wavering figures.
“It appears that another has joined us” one said. “We shall see if he has regained his past life yet.” The other figure stated.
As they began too walk around the fire their body’s slowly came visible to Azien’s eyes.
The first was a child with long black hair. He had a surprisingly adult like face. His looked as though he had seen too much and wanted to let it go.The second was a young girl with lavender hair that hanged down to cover one eye.The one eye that was visible was blood red; it too seemed in the wrong place for a young girl.
Azien felt an instant kinship with these two.
“I am Scathe” The girl said. “I’m Raidra” The boy said in turn.
Before he had a chance too speak they snatched his hands in theirs.
Together the tree of them walked to the entrance too the area. On the way there they explained why he was here, and asked him what his memories were. After telling him why they were in his head they walked in silence until they reached the door. “Welcome” They both said in a ringing tone.
Academy Days~ Regain What Was Lost
The days merged into weeks and weeks into months as Azien trained and suffered beneath the hands of Scathe and Raidra. He remembered being taught the laws and history of his people, he remembered finding his elemental types that he would learn to wield. From the memories in his head he could tell that he already far out powered most Genin.
Scathe taught history, tactics and strategies for combat. Raidra taught him how to put what he learned from Scathe into practice. He also help Azien recall his former self’s memories. Raidra in tandem with Scathe tutored him in the use of their clan’s Doujutsu and hidden jutsus. After about a years training, Scathe and Raidra both approached him during his rest and mediation period.
They both halted approximately two meters away from him. The clan tradition for respect, following the correct protocol they touched their first two fingers to their mouths in respect. “Azien Jakunen-Shin” They both told him. Azien’s eyes widened in shock. All first born couldn’t remember their past last names. Only once they had completed their training would their teaches give them their last names that in one way would describe them.
“We have given you this name because you have completed our training faster then anyone else in our clan’s history. You are also the child of prophecy predicted by our best seers.”
Azien absorbed this information silently. “Is there any reason why you haven’t told me before?”
The two seemed puzzled by this question. “We thought it best until you had completed your training.” They paused for a second then continued “If you want to know how we know the answer is thus:
You are the first Necromite who has been born from a medical nin.
You have shown potential and potency in almost all the ninja arts. The ones you chose to focus on will rise to extreme levels. Now before we can say that you have passed our tests you must show us that you have complete control over your Skeleton Eye.”
Azien quickly began too summon up his chakra, the familiar sensation of becoming whole started. Opening his eyes he could see his blazing chakra consume and begin to active them.
“Bravo” Stated Raidra. “I think you pass our test.” “ I really don’t think it was that hard” said Azien.
Brief looks of surprise crossed Raidra’s and Scathe’s faces. “Your chakra was being drained by this room when you activated your Skeleton Eyes.” Scathe explained. "It sould have been very difficult."
********
The next day they left for the surface.
“Now is the time to decide which village you want to belong too.” Scathe said.
Azien looked back at what he had learnt about the villages training methods.
Turning towards the mountains in the distance he made his decision. “I will go to Kumo”
Academy Days~First Bonds
Azien waited for the Jonin to finish talking, preaching about what it means too be a ninja. Walking out Azien found himself next too a young boy with bright blue eyes that Azien found interesting. After talking with him Azien found he was Monki, he soon developed a close friendship with him.
He found himself near the top of the class within the first few days.
Eventully the Genin exam came. Azien had too be tested seperatly because he came late.

The Story Starts~

Role-Play Sample:

Azien began too treck back towards Kona, when the Genin team attacked him.
The members were two Genjutsu users and one Taijutsu.
Too begin with Azien assulted them with long range attacks, trying to figure out there combat methods.
They started using Genjutsu to mask their movments and the Taijutsu users attacks.
Azien had started to figure out their movements, when they switched to a different from of Genjutsu, to mask their movments. This forced Azien to constantly pefrom genjutsu dispell to keep his vision clear.
Azien began too see flaws in the two genins Genjutsus and began to pick them arpart and weave his own Genjutsu.
The Taijutsu user began to attack illusions and falter. Azien used thi oppotnity to attack.
He laid a trap beneath the sand. It consistered of three exploding tags placed beneath four sets of ropes that would be launched by the exploding tags too cover the target.
Modifying his Genjutsu Azien waited for the trap to spring.
As soon as the Genin stepped on the trap area, the tags sent the ropes swirling around the Genin.
Not wanting to wasting his oppotunity, Azien launched several kunai that directly hit all his vitals.
Death was near instant and painless.
The two remaining Genin stared in horrer as they saw their comrade fall, blood shooting everywhere.
Azien felt a painful feeling rising in his gut. "So this is what its like to kill" He thought.
He saw the hurt and pain for their comrade rise in the other Genins eyes.
He could almost feel their hate rising like a touchable mist. Azien cooly surraved them, to his shock their was a Sharingan froming in one of their eyes.
Azien regained his composture and returned to studying them.
"The game has gotten a little more complitated" Thought Azien "A pawn has become a bishop."

Posts : 1084

I'm assuming this is a Work in Progress?

Age : 26 Posts : 209

Yes.
I also do some of this forums partners and real-life on top of that. So yes a work in progress.
His Name in jap means Final Shadow.
As and oppisite to his nickname final light

Posts : 1084

I was only asking because it didn't have a 'WiP' in the title. You'd actually be surprised how many people have posted an application that wasn't filled in all the way, actually believing they had finished.

Haha, just put a WiP in your title and when you're done, take it out.

Age : 26 Posts : 209

Done
Can you see my pic?

Posts : 509

The only picture i can see is of a scyth, your lacking an appearence pic & various other bits of information.

Age : 26 Posts : 209

I have pretty much finished.
Please go through and tell me where to work on.

Posts : 1084

- I'm a little confused as to why your whole application is in code. It makes it harder to look through everything and it doesn't make your images show.

- Appearance could be a little more detailed.

- Personality needs to be another paragraph and a half longer or so.

- Kiri is closed.

- The blank weapon application can be taken out.

- You have Fuuinjutsu listed as a specialty, yet you don't seem to have any techniques on them.

- You don't seem to have any elemental techniques, either. Would you like to add some?

Age : 26 Posts : 209

Kiri closed okay sorry.
I think I'll have to get rid to Fuuinjutsu.
I'll look around and get myself some Suiton jutsus.
I'm going to be adding a weapon sometime.
I was following what Todd told me too do.
He said to change it into code.

Question: How do you let it do that spoiler thing.

Posts : 509

Just so you'r aware, you'r choice of village's are Suna and Kumo. :3

I doubt Todd would have told you to set it out like that, perhaps there was some sort of missunderstanding.

You create spoilers by using this:- [Spoiler] TEXT HERE [Spoiler] << put a '/' at the start of this one.

Posts : 2032

I said use the code (green writing) which is at the bottom of the character template, by copy and pasting it in. -.-

Age : 26 Posts : 209

I'm sorry about that.
I was rewriting it back in code when my computer shut down.
Thanks for the info about the avalible villages.
Question: Do I have too write the info about my character in the code?

Age : 26 Posts : 209

Completion Bump

Age : 37 Posts : 1136

You specs seem not to fit with your techniques. Unless you have Ninjutsu as a spec you cant to any non academy ninjutsu and you have no fuu (which given you clans odd chakra I am not sure you can do) or taijutsu. I suggest you correct this mismatch as it stands the app appears disjointed

Age : 26 Posts : 209

Done.
I'll find some elemental jutsus later.

Age : 26 Posts : 209

I 've put in some Elemental jutsus.
What else can I do to this app.

Posts : 1084

A paragraph or so still needs to be added to personality.

Septimus wrote:: Name: Suiton: Water Gun
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: Suiton
Descrition: A Suiton Jutsu. The user kneads chakra in their mouth and turns it to water. (Another way is too use spit.) Then shoots it out of their mouth in the form of water balls. The impact of this jutsu is enough to knock the opponent off their feet if it collides.
This jutsu requires a post too from the water ball.

Please reword the last sentence of this jutsu. Also, how many water balls does this jutsu make? How large are they? Details, please.

Your history is a little disorganized and somewhat difficult to read. Please go back and attempt to maybe form better paragraphs so they aren't so broken up.

Age : 26 Posts : 209

Done.

Age : 26 Posts : 209

Okay.....
Bump.
Very Nearly FINISHED.(I think)

Age : 26 Posts : 209

Hey Hey Hey....Ummmm. Bump

Age : 32 Posts : 428

Çγαηide Çαηdγ ♥ wrote:

A paragraph or so still needs to be added to personality.

Septimus wrote:: Name: Suiton: Water Gun
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: Suiton
Descrition: A Suiton Jutsu. The user kneads chakra in their mouth and turns it to water. (Another way is too use spit.) Then shoots it out of their mouth in the form of water balls. The impact of this jutsu is enough to knock the opponent off their feet if it collides.
This jutsu requires a post too from the water ball.

Please reword the last sentence of this jutsu. Also, how many water balls does this jutsu make? How large are they? Details, please.

Your history is a little disorganized and somewhat difficult to read. Please go back and attempt to maybe form better paragraphs so they aren't so broken up.

Bold part. Also, add a couple of paragraphs more to your history, it seems really short.

Quote :: Name: Suiton: Water Stream
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: Suiton
Description: A Suiton Jutsu. This Jutsu sends out a stream of water at the opponent that will distrupt their movments and any jutsu that is being formed. This jutsu is effective against smoke release. The speed of the water can be incresed by adding more chakra too it.

Name: Suiton: Water Gun
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: Suiton
Descrition: A Suiton Jutsu. The user kneads chakra in their mouth and turns it to water. (Another way is too use spit.) Then shoots it out of their mouth in the form of water balls. The impact of this jutsu is enough to knock the opponent off their feet if it collides.
The size of the water balls will grow with rank, as will the number of balls.
Genin=10cm in Dm. One ball.
Chunin=20cm in Dm. Two balls.
Jonin=40cm in Dm. Three balls.
Kage or S rank=80cm in Dm Four balls.

Name: Raiton: Electromagnetic Murder
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank:D-A
Element: Raiton
Description: A Raiton Jutsu. This technique allows the user to create a wave of electricity from his hands. The user can vary it's power from a small surge to shock an opponent to a powerful stream of lightning capable of ripping through solid rock. It is ideal to use in conjunction with a water technique.

All of this Jutsus are C-Ranked.

Has your clan been approved? I am asking just to be sure.

Quote :: Intellect:
Azien is one of the most intelligent shinobi the ninja world has seen. With an IQ of 250 Azien can study an opponent, watching their habits, style of walking, even from the tone of voice he can tell if they are skilled in Taijutsu. The movment of their eyes may betray the fact that they are a genjutsu user.
He has also shown himself as a powerful and flexible tactician, capable of adjusting seamlessly to any given combat situation, if not plan out events well in advance. He understands the strengths, weaknesses and mannerisms of his enemies and creates strategies to achieve victory.
He also possesses great intuition, able to quickly become aware of any incoming danger and react to it in time.

Bold part, remove it, since that is impossible.

Italic, that does not go under intellect, it is a new special characteristic.

You need to add a better description to this special characteristic.

Age : 26 Posts : 209

Light wrote:

Çγαηide Çαηdγ ♥ wrote:

A paragraph or so still needs to be added to personality.

Septimus wrote:: Name: Suiton: Water Gun
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: Suiton
Descrition: A Suiton Jutsu. The user kneads chakra in their mouth and turns it to water. (Another way is too use spit.) Then shoots it out of their mouth in the form of water balls. The impact of this jutsu is enough to knock the opponent off their feet if it collides.
This jutsu requires a post too from the water ball.

Please reword the last sentence of this jutsu. Also, how many water balls does this jutsu make? How large are they? Details, please.

Your history is a little disorganized and somewhat difficult to read. Please go back and attempt to maybe form better paragraphs so they aren't so broken up.

Bold part. Also, add a couple of paragraphs more to your history, it seems really short.
Done.

Quote :: Name: Suiton: Water Stream
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: Suiton
Description: A Suiton Jutsu. This Jutsu sends out a stream of water at the opponent that will distrupt their movments and any jutsu that is being formed. This jutsu is effective against smoke release. The speed of the water can be incresed by adding more chakra too it.

Name: Suiton: Water Gun
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: Suiton
Descrition: A Suiton Jutsu. The user kneads chakra in their mouth and turns it to water. (Another way is too use spit.) Then shoots it out of their mouth in the form of water balls. The impact of this jutsu is enough to knock the opponent off their feet if it collides.
The size of the water balls will grow with rank, as will the number of balls.
Genin=10cm in Dm. One ball.
Chunin=20cm in Dm. Two balls.
Jonin=40cm in Dm. Three balls.
Kage or S rank=80cm in Dm Four balls.

Name: Raiton: Electromagnetic Murder
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank:D-A
Element: Raiton
Description: A Raiton Jutsu. This technique allows the user to create a wave of electricity from his hands. The user can vary it's power from a small surge to shock an opponent to a powerful stream of lightning capable of ripping through solid rock. It is ideal to use in conjunction with a water technique.

All of this Jutsus are C-Ranked.
Changed

Has your clan been approved? I am asking just to be sure.
Yes.

Quote :: Intellect:
Azien is one of the most intelligent shinobi the ninja world has seen. With an IQ of 250 Azien can study an opponent, watching their habits, style of walking, even from the tone of voice he can tell if they are skilled in Taijutsu. The movment of their eyes may betray the fact that they are a genjutsu user.
He has also shown himself as a powerful and flexible tactician, capable of adjusting seamlessly to any given combat situation, if not plan out events well in advance. He understands the strengths, weaknesses and mannerisms of his enemies and creates strategies to achieve victory.
He also possesses great intuition, able to quickly become aware of any incoming danger and react to it in time.

Bold part, remove it, since that is impossible.
Done
Italic, that does not go under intellect, it is a new special characteristic.
Done
You need to add a better description to this special characteristic.

Done

Posts : 509

Hi again ^^

Okay, first i'm going to give you some points to focus on:-

1.) Remove those chakra cost points, theres no need for them on here.
2.) You're increased stamina is overpowered and needs to be explained more.
3.) All you're jutsu need to have a type (catagorized).

Quote :: Necrotic Chakra:
All Necromites have a highly increased amount of chakra, nearly double the quantity a normal ninja would possess for their age or rank due to the advanced age of most Necromites and their ventures into death and life. Necromites, however, cannot use their chakra internally and thus cannot perform many jutsu, especially those of the Medical category.

Some jutsu can be replicated with external chakra, but they must have a solid form. Thus Necromites are unable to utilize the vast majority of Fuuton justu, and usually steer clear of using the element. The majority of Necromite utilize Katon, in contrast, because all of its jutsu have a physical form. Necromite chakra also is highly visible, unlike normal chakra, since the external form is a notably large blaze

1.) You cannot have double the amount of chakra of a 'normal' ninja, i'll allow you to have a small chakra pool boost BUT i'll expect it to be explained extremely indepth.

2.) The fact that you can't use chakra internally makes no sense, i don't know if you'd just be unable to move or weather you'd just collapse and die. Whatever the out come you'd be extremely screwed up. Chakra is focused from inside and then controled, resulting in it manifesting externally. If you're character can't focus chakra internally then this process cannot work, you can see the problem right?

3.) You state that members of you're clan utilize the Katon element however you do not have Katon as one of you're elements? D: I don't know weather you want to change you're element or this explanation but either way it needs fixing.

Quote :: Death Sense:
Necromites are innately able to determine whether or not something has life within it, and are thus not fooled by clones, substitutions, etc. Only real creatures, not jutsu created creatures or clones, have 'life' within them which radiates like a white fiery aura around them. This aura cannot be hidden or repressed, unless by another Necromite, and all Necromites give off a gray aura rather than a white one since they have only limited 'life' in them.

A dead thing is very easily noted by a Necromite and thus they cannot be fooled by 'playing dead'. A dead object, animal, person, etc. gives off a bright flash of white, which blinds Necromites for a post if they are able to directly see it, and then has no aura. This flash is at the moment of death, some so called 'instanteous deaths' have been reported by Necromites to actually have lasted a few seconds, which were unbearably horrible to the afflicted person.

This sense is not sight, hearing, taste, etc. and they can simply 'sense' it visually, even if they are otherwise blinded or unable to see through some other method. The sense is only hampered when blinded by a flash of light from a dying ninja, this blindness affects ever a Necromite's Death Sense.

1.) How can they sense life? If you mean you can sense chakra then this needs to be completely reconfigured. Clones have chakra in and thus gives them limited 'life' or time to work. If you're not referring to chakra then i'd like you to better explain what you mean.

2.) You can't sense something visually? You can sense somethings there but not see it, please can you change the wording around. It's hard to understand at the moment.

Quote :: Undead Stamina:
Necromites have an increased level of stamina, which is used in place of chakra consumption for most of their techniques, which is further explained in the jutsu section of this application. Necromites have a 25% increase in stamina over normal ninja due to their increased life time and thus more time to perfectly hone their bodies to act according to their wishes.

1.) As stated earlier please give a more indepth explanation.
2.) Decrease the boost inwhich you gain from this SC.
3.) You may have an increased life span however at the moment you're 11, i think you should change the wording on this.

I'll look into you're application's other issues when i have more time, you have some to keep you going until then. ^^ Good luck.

-Commander

Age : 26 Posts : 209

I can't change all this because it isn't my clan.... Take it up with Todd.
It dosen't say all of Necromites use Katon. Just most. I have never liked Katon so I wen't with others.
All Necromites keep a small chakra reserve in their bodies. This can be used in jutsu.
I was planning on making a space-time clan too use for my character, but I didn't think I'd have time.

Posts : 730

Spoiler:

Okay.. so, when I first read over Hage's clan I grew horrified, but got to know it some and I suppose it isn't so extremely bad, however, you need to reread the clan yourself before you decide if you really want to play one. As is explained in the Necromite clan, they have no use of internal chakra, which makes most, if not all, elemental techniques off limits. The only two basic jutsu I did not include are water and tree walking, because there's a chance you could use your external chakra to do that.

You'll need to remove all of the jutsu in the spoiler if you intend on playing the undead. I'll do some more reading of the clan and let you know how it turns out.