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Darthwin
Posts : 87
| Subject: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Fri 04 Jun 2010, 11:32 pm | |
| Basic Information: Name: Drago Oda Secondary Title: N/A Age: 15 Gender: male Physical Appearance: The biggest trademark of Drago is his hair. Most of his hair is a dark black color with the front being a white color. His hair is spiked up a bit with a few that go over his kiri headband that he wears on his forehead. His eye color is a dark blue color. He wears a blue mask that goes over his mouth only. He usually wears it a lot and mainly takes it off when he eats or sleeps. He has a bit of a fair skin color. His normal outfit consists of black pants that reach his ankles and has a dark grey short sleaved shirt that has a black collar around the neck. He wears a blue vest that he usually leaves unzipped most of the time. One the front of it there is a dark blue dragon on the front of it.
He wears bandages that he has wrapped around his arms all the way up to the bottom of his shoulder. He has blue gloves that covers every finger but his pointer finger. He has an average build of a body and is quite physically fit. He had a height of about five foot six and weighs a total of one hundred and twenty nine pounds. He keep his forehead protector on his forehead. Personality: Drago is a bit of a calm person some times though he can have a bit of the same temper, as his father. He likes to get a good challenge and does not back down from a fight. He has a bit of a keen insight on things and can do a bit of multi tasking at times. He can be trusting of comrades and teammates. His biggest trait is the fact that he has quite a bit of energy though that can be annoying to some people. He sticks to what his is good at when he fights and tries to avoid overdoing things. He has a good memory of things and writes a lot of things he wants to remember down in a notepad that he has with him.
He is not keen on those that go back on what they set out to do without a good reason. He also does not like those that are traitors. He does not believe in fate or leave things to chance. He thinks things happen because of the action or inaction of someone. He is strict with his own training and does not like to taste failure too many times. He is a little confident in his own abilities with out being over confident in his fighting skills. Catch Phrase: "success comes with training and talent"
Clan Information: Clan Name: Oda Clan Location: Kiri Clan Traits: Most have a natural affinity for fire or earth ninjutsu. Their level of skill various from each ninja. It can be that some need a little less chakra to use them. One or two in each generation can create stronger attacks then normal while others just learn them much faster then normal. Fuuinjutsu ability - Around forty percent of the members live on to become skilled in Fuuinjutsu. Few members of the clan have attempted to create their own though few succeed in that task. Kekkei Genkai: The Steel Release (鋼遁, Kōton) ninjutsu are techniques that can be used to make one's body virtually indestructible by turning it into black steel. The elements combined to create this nature are unknown. To date, this form of nature manipulation has only been used by Hiruko, who obtained it using his Chimera Technique to steal Kekkei Genkai in Naruto Shippūden 3: Inheritors of the Will of Fire from an unknown shinobi.. Secret Clan Jutsu:
- Spoiler:
Name:Steel Release: Impervious Armor Type: Ninjutsu Rank: B - S Element: Steel Description: This technique allows the user to turn part of their body into black steel, making that part invulnerable to most kinds of weapons. Hiruko states that blades do not affect him at all due to this ability. The portion converted into black steel is similar in appearance to Kakuzu's Earth Spear technique. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use: none
Name: Kōton • Hagane Bunshin no Jutsu [Steel Release • Steel Clone Skill] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: B Element: Steel Description: A skill which the user creates a tangible clone from their Steel chakra. Like most clones it can caused to vanish when hit though it is much harder then ordinary clones and can hurt those that hit it without any protection. The clones can use steel or earth ninjutsu Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Kōton Release • Kane Shouheki [Steel Release • Metal Barrier] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: B Element: Steel Description: A skill where the user creates a metallic barrier, in which can withstand a great deal of attacks. It is strong against most elements, but it can be weakened by water or lightning release attacks. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Kōton Release • Haganeryuu Rendan [Steell Release • Steel Dragon Barrage] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: A Element: Steel Description: A skill where the user, can have a large, long, and slender steel dragon emerge from the ground. This large incarnation of metal has a bunshin type capacity to think, and weights approximately 3000 lbs. However, this dragon only stays around for five posts. This is because of the amount of chakra that it uses in it's attacks and uses it up quickly. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name:Kōton Release • Kagane Yari [Steel Release • Steel Spear] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: B Element: Steel Description: A skill where the user creates a spear that is five feet long and having a three inch thickness. The tip, is known as an ultimate offense tip which is capable of piercing many types of armors and a great deal of ninjutsu barriers. With such a spear, it makes a great tool in battle. It has a harder time against barriers that are lightning element and those that have an A rank. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Steel Release: Great Titan Steel Armor Type: Ninjutsu Rank: S Element: Steel Description: The user flows steel chakra through all parts of their body, which hardens their skin to a titanium quality. This increases their defensive power to the utmost limits. The user's skin becomes jet black with silver streaks over their now slitted eye lids, the user also gains claw like finger and toenails. The destructive power of physical attacks is increased, making this a great all-purpose technique. Few members of the clan are able to even use the technique. Drawbacks of this technique is that it draw on a great deal of chakra and that once the technique ends the user is usually weakened greatly. It either ends automatically after six posts or if the user does not have enough chakra to keep it up. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
History: The Oda clan originated in kiri with the clan founder being Zagi Oda. The Clan was around during the beginning years of the village and has had some influence on minor in the village. Most early oda clan members started out with either earth ninjutsu and later learned fire ninjutsu. Their are a rare few that used wind instead of fire though they were made into outcasts of the clan. The clan has changed in various ways over the years and created various techniques for their clan. Most Oda do not leave their village with only a few actually getting lucky and escaping kiri. Most of the oda at least become Chuunin before their deaths. Though there is about only two or three out of every generation that becomes an anbu. Over the years some used different weapons though most of the oda clans weapons are long gone or missing leaving only two weapons remaining for the clan to use. This makes it that only the strongest of the clan can use the weapons.
Two famous members of the clan are Raido Oda and Nammasu Oda. Raido was known as the Steel king because of his ability with his bloodline limit. He was also known for his mastery of the fire clone technique. His biggest achievement was holding of seven jounin though he died only after killing five and leaving the other two wounded. He was being a distraction and let his teammates escape. The other was known as the rumbling dragon because of his earth armor technique. He is also Drago's great grandfather. He was the one to lock the Oda clan weapons in the vault until someone could be chosen to use them properly. Clan Details: 'open'
Rank Information: Rank: Genin Village Affiliation:Kiri
Special Information: Character Speciality: Main:Ninjutsu Sub:Fuuinjutsu Elemental Affinity: Main: Earth Sub: Fire Special Characteristics: memory - He can remember the little details for things and also has notes to help him remember things that he thinks is important. He has a bit of a photographic memory and can remember something he has seen with great detail.
Skill Information: Note: You can find the other templates in the other Creation Areas if your character needs them. Jutsu Template: Basic Skills
- Spoiler:
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu Type: Ninjutsu Rank: E Element: none Description: This jutsu lets the user quickly switch places with another nearby object, such as a plant (normally a section of a log), an animal, or even another person within reach using the Body Flicker Technique, the moment an attack hits. This creates an optical illusion, making the enemy think the attack was successful. The user can then use this confusion to escape or launch a counter-attack. Exploding tags can be attached to the replacement for an added surprise. Basically all ninja know this technique. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Cloak of Invisibility Technique Type: Basic Skill Rank: E Element: none Description: This jutsu allows a ninja to take a cloak or a piece of cloth and blend into an object, making them invisible. The flaw is if someoen uses poor disguises (square rocks with eyeholes, cloaks that are incorrectly patterned or rotated the wrong way around, or simply not covering himself completely), thus betraying the illusion. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Transformation Technique Type: Ninjutsu Rank: E Element: none Description:Henge is the basic skill a ninja must know to become a Genin. It's mostly used as a decoy, to confuse the opponent by transforming into somebody that's an ally with the enemy, and then attack from the back when he's not expecting it. This technique can easily be combined with other jutsus for a more powerful effect, such as with Kage Bunshin no Jutsu [Shadow Clone Technique]. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Suimen Hokou no Gyou [Art of Water Walking] Type: Basic Skill Rank: C Element: none Description: The user focuses their chakra to the soles of their feet and step onto the water. From the surface of the liquid, they would then need to be able to measure the amount of chakra it would take to support their weight along the surface of the water without sinking. Once this is mastered, the user would be able to easily walk on water. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Koe no Mozouhin [Voice Imitation] Type: Ninjutsu, Rank: D Element: None Description: The user uses chakra to alter his larynx and vocal tract to change the way his voice sounds. This can be used to make the user sound like an animal, an adult, of the opposite sex, etc. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name:Tsunagakure no Jutsu [Hidden Rope Technique] Type: Basic Skill Rank: E Element: none Description: This jutsu allows the user to hide a rope under a short layer of earth, making it totally invisible to those passing by. It is great for disguising traps. This technique does not require hand seals. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Kinobori [Tree Climbing] Type: Basic Skill Rank: C Element: none Description: The user concentrates onto the soles of their feet and coats them with a layer of chakra. Once this is done, the user will then be able to walk up any tree like they are walking up a regular foot path. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu [Rope Untying Skill] Type: Basic Skill Rank:E Element: none Description: This jutsu gives you the ability to easily free yourself from a rope or any other object made from something similar to a rope. This jutsu works merely by inserting chakra into the rope, and requires no hand seals. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Jibaku Fuda: Kassei [Exploding Tag: Activate] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: none Description: Utilizing chakra, a ninja is able to activate the explosion mechanism of a distant bomb tag. This can also be used to deactivate any explosive tags in the vicinity of the user, which were set to explode by means other than through the use of jutsu.
Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Oogata Boutou [Big Boom] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: none Description: When created the needed hand seals, the user will clap their hands together to create a Big Boom or a loud noise, deafening the opponent for a period of time. The user should wear earplugs so it won't effect them. The distance of noise takes up a five feet radius around the person that uses it. The effects lasts for 2 -3 posts Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Earth Ninjutsu
- Spoiler:
Name: Doton: Nameogusoku [Earth Release: Armor of Earth] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: After performing the handseals, the user is engulfed with a layer of earth which then hardens to a very high density and is used as armor; each piece of the armor can endure at least one hit, and can endure more depending on the hit force, and the level of the user. The armor itself is very heavy, creating a drain on the user's stamina as well as their chakra, and also greatly decreasing both their speed and strength no matter the rank of the user. This armor can withstand ninjutsu that is c-rank or lower. Though any lightning ninjutsu at the c-rank level can break through. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Tsuchi Bunshin no Jutsu [Earth Clone Technique] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: This is a Ninjutsu technique that utilizes earth to create a Bunshin clone. Unlike a normal Bunshin, the Tsuchi Bunshin has the ability to interact more with the environment due to it having physical substance. This allows the clone to carry out attacks on its target. Also, elemental clones can think, but only on the rudimentary level, and the concentration for their jutsu needs to be maintained by the user. When this clone disperses, it reverts into a pile of dirt. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu [Earth Release: Inner Decapitation Skill] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: A Doton (earth element) ninjutsu normally used to catch the target by surprise. After performing a series of hand seals and raising his chakra, the user burrows underground using his chakra. After the ninja feels he is below his opponent, he raises his hand and grabs his opponent's feet, then buries them underground, leaving only the target's head above the surface. This leaves the head open for attack. This jutsu does not let the user move around underground. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Doton: Tsuchi Saiku [Earth Release: Earth Trick] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: After forming a few hand seals the user grabs a handful of mud in his hand and throws it at his opponent. Just as he begins to throw the handful of mud the user pushes out some chakra into his palm. The escaping chakra pushes the mud faster than what would be expected towards the opponent. Although it does little damage it does dirty the opponents clothing and may irritate certain parts of the body (eyes, cuts, nails… etc.). Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Doton: Iwa no Wareme [Earth Release: Rock Fissure] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: The user starts a sprint towards their opponent. Once they finish their handseals mid the run, they move quickly to a side. Moving at high speeds, the user digs down with one hand into the dirt and circles their opponent flashily. Once the circle around the target is finish twice or more, the earth beneath them starts to crumble and they fall into a deep hole. The hole has a two feet radius. The hole is also twelve feet deep at it's maximum. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Doton: Da-to Tsumemono wo Keisi [Earth Release: Dirt Wad Formation] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: The user makes one handseal, and opens his palms facing the ground. He draws up dirt, and packs it tightly with chakra, into a ball the size of a tennis ball. With practice, these balls can be made as hard as rock. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Doton: Doro Bakudan [Earth Release: Mud Bomb] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: This jutsu allows the user to create a dark brown sphere via the use of handseals. The mub bomb is molded and held together with the use of chakra. The bomb can then be thrown at the opponent to explode and blind them with an explosion of mud. The size of the mud bomb is close to about the size of a grapefruit and is created from the ground. The amount of damage from the explosion relies on if it lands in an open cut or the eyes. Normally it is just an irritant or used as a distraction. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Name: Doton: Douro Shougaibutsu [Earth Release: Road Obstacle] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: The user takes the chance of a charging target to use this jutsu. Through a couple of quick handseals, the user creates a few small rocks to pop out of the ground in the target's way. This effect is sudden to force the target to trip and hurt themselves. The maximum distance it can reach it twenty inches away. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
Fūinjutsu
- Spoiler:
Name: Five Seals Barrier Type: Fūinjutsu Rank: C Element: none Description: This technique creates a barrier around a place by placing four "Forbidden" (禁, kin) tags in different locations surrounding, a fifth tag on the location to be protected. The tags are placed on flat surfaces, and are connected with the user's chakra. This technique turns the entire range surrounded by the tags into a barrier space, and inside the space, the material destruction is "forbidden". Using any kind of physical attack to try and destroy something in the barrier is folly, as it will only lead to injury. To cancel this, it is necessary to search for the five tags and tear them off simultaneously. Meaning there must be at least five people on a team to cancel it.
Even if the barrier is broken, there is a final obstacle. The user can add a trap that will create perfect copies of those who have removed the seal, preventing them from returning immediately Link: Medical use/Bastardized use: Weapon Template:
- Quote :
Name:kunai Quantity: 15 Rank: E Appearance: [/td] Special Abilities/Characteristics: N/A Origin:It is a black dagger designed for thrusting and stabbing, though it can still do damage if thrown, and is about the length of one's hand. Many ninja attack by attaching an exploding tag to the blade. The kunai is usually thrown so that it lodges in an object near the target, and then the explosion from the attached tag destroys said target. Kunai can also be kept on spring-loaded wires in the user's sleeve. They can be used for close combat, like a normal knife. Empowered with "chakra flow", kunai thrown into targets can cut through solid wood and even solid stone targets.
Last edited by Darthwin on Tue 06 Jul 2010, 2:14 am; edited 19 times in total |
| | | Darthwin
Posts : 87
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Sat 05 Jun 2010, 4:07 am | |
| Background Information History: Birth Arc Drago was born into the oda clan. He had been what his clan was looking for since they were slowly getting lower on the amount of male heirs to the clan. He had already learned Earth Release: Earth Trick from his father and used it to bug some people he knew. He had used a few other techniques he learned from his father to make some trouble also. Things like digging pits outside the village that gennin from other villages fell into from time to time. He would set off one or two smoke bombs once in a while also. This was how he was before he had become a genin. He had nothing to use hid energy on since he was not a ninja yet.
It was his way of having some practice before he joined the Academy. Since he was able to use more techniques that were of a low rank he could apply his energy to something more useful. He became a bit more calm of a person. He had been able to remember a lot of things for his young age and practiced in memorization on simple tasks. He used his basic abilites his father taught him to become an academy student. He was a bit of a trouble maker when he younger. He had entered the ninja academy at the age of six.
Academy Arc In the academy he was an average student with only average abilities. He normally stuck to his studies though and did not talk to a lot of people. When he was not in class he was training his ninjutsu abilities so he could increase his fighting abilities. He had learned a great deal of ninjutsu though most were basic techniques. He had been up to some of his old tricks again, but he was using them in more complex ways since it gave him some practice with some of the many D-rank techniques he had learned. He also used some free time he had to spar against his fellow students. He usually lost to those that were taijutsu specialist at a young age, but was able to evenly match with balanced academy students and those that were good at water ninjutsu. Soon enough he had become a gennin at the age of ten.
Gennin Arc He had used the time soon afterwards to train with his father in learning Fuuinjutsu and increase his level of ability so that he would eventually be made the heir of his clan. He had been sent on simple missions. Ranging from pulling weeds, cleaning lakes, protecting builders and various other missions. He learned the earth clone technique at the age of twelve and used that along with other techniques so he could work to improve himself. Most missions he had gone on where D rank and he was used as a substitute squad member. He was not assigned to a squad yet though he really did not mind much. He had become used to not having a team though. He had hoped to eventually become a chunin so he could get more interesting missions though. His hard work allowed him to learn a few C - rank techniques that he could use in missions and battles.
Role-Play Sample: Drago looked around for a moment, as he had completed his training for the day. He moved to a nearby tree for a moment and took a seat for a moment. He had practiced a few new techniques, but he still had a long way to go though if he wanted to fulfill what he was meant to accomplish. He had a calm look on his face for a moment, as he checked through his kunai for a moment and looked around to gather his thoughts for a moment. He let out a sigh since he was hoping he would be able to learn more Fuuinjutsu abilities, but did not seem like the case at the moment. He let out another sigh and took out his sword for a moment and went into a sword stance. He was not that great with swords so that was to be expected. He only had it since he needed something other then ninjutsu.
Last edited by Darthwin on Mon 05 Jul 2010, 10:36 pm; edited 4 times in total |
| | | Darthwin
Posts : 87
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Fri 02 Jul 2010, 9:09 am | |
| ok I am ready to be checked. |
| | | Darthwin
Posts : 87
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Sat 03 Jul 2010, 4:57 pm | |
| bump |
| | | Kris
Posts : 372
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Sun 04 Jul 2010, 10:31 am | |
| Hey, I'll be checking your application today.
- Quote :
- memory - He can remember the little details for things and also has notes to help him remember things that he thinks is important.
Is this truly special? I mean, as a ninja you would have the sense to pay attention to the slightest ideas anyways, so mostly every ninja has this. Do you still wish to keep it? If not, remove it or replace it.
Also, has your clan been approved/posted in the Clan Creation section.
- Quote :
- Name: Five Seals Barrier
Type: Fūinjutsu Rank: C Element: none Description: This technique creates a barrier around a place by placing four "Forbidden" (禁, kin) tags in different locations surrounding, a fifth tag on the location to be protected. The tags are placed on flat surfaces, and are connected with the user's chakra. This technique turns the entire range surrounded by the tags into a barrier space, and inside the space, the material destruction is "forbidden". Using any kind of physical attack to try and destroy something in the barrier is folly, as it will only lead to injury. To cancel this, it is necessary to search for the five tags and tear them off simultaneously. Meaning there must be at least five people on a team to cancel it.
Even if the barrier is broken, there is a final obstacle. The user can add a trap that will create perfect copies of those who have removed the seal, preventing them from returning immediately I'm a bit iffy about this jutsu, I know that it is a C-rank technique but sometimes the show/websites can blow things out of proportions, and/or be on different scales. I'll have another mod input their opinion on this.
Thats all for now!
-Kris
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| | | Phantom Heart
Age : 31 Posts : 716
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Sun 04 Jul 2010, 10:35 am | |
| I was just posting, as I was informed someone posted before me. Nonetheless, I caught a few things.
- First of all, your Clan needs to be Approved before your Character can be Approved within that Clan, as Rizzy said. Therefore, I have posted there accordingly, and will be looking over this Application. For now, I will point out a few flaws.
- Considering you do not have a Speciatly regarding Weaponry, or Kenjutsu, I don't think you can have a Katana as a Weapon. I'm also not exactly sure if carrying around thirty kunai as a Genin, or anyone for that matter, is permitted.
- I also encourage you add more detail, specifically to your History. You should have at least a good paragraph for each arc - a paragraph consisting of 8-12 sentences.
And I have to disagree with you Rizzy, on the memory bit. That is, if they are more specific. If they are saying that their Character has photographic memory, not all people have such a trait, and it could be considered 'special'. |
| | | Darthwin
Posts : 87
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Mon 05 Jul 2010, 7:35 am | |
| ok I took away the sword and lowered my number of kunai. I will work on my biography and think of some things to add. |
| | | Darthwin
Posts : 87
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Mon 05 Jul 2010, 11:03 am | |
| I added more to the history. |
| | | Rail
Age : 33 Posts : 428
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Mon 05 Jul 2010, 1:37 pm | |
| Genins require 3 Arcs in their Background...Example: Birth, Academy and Genin Arc. Your Academy Arc contains events from your Genin Arc, so that needs to be fixed please. Separate those two and add a little bit more to the Academy Arc.
- Quote :
- Name: Oogata Boutou [Big Boom]
Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: none Description: When created the needed hand seals, the user will clap their hands together to create a Big Boom, deafening the opponent for a period of time. The user should wear earplugs so it won't effect them. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use:
You need to add a range for this technique. Not only that, you mention the user creating a so called Big Boom. But, you never explained what a Big Boom is, so please do so.
- Quote :
Name: Doton: Nameogusoku [Earth Release: Armor of Earth] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: After performing the handseals, the user is engulfed with a layer of earth which then hardens to a very high density and is used as armor; each piece of the armor can endure at least one hit, and can endure more depending on the hit force, and the level of the user. The armor itself is very heavy, creating a drain on the user's stamina as well as their chakra, and also greatly decreasing both their speed and strength no matter the rank of the user. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use: Here you need to add what exactly cant the armor endure, a hit from what and on which level. Ninjutsu, Taijutsu? A rank, B rank, C rank?
- Quote :
- Name: Doton: Iwa no Wareme [Earth Release: Rock Fissure]
Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: The user starts a sprint towards their opponent. Once they finish their handseals mid the run, they flicker to a side. Moving at high speed, the user digs down with one hand into the dirt and circles their opponent flashily. Once the circle around the target is finish twice or more, the earth beneath them starts to crumble and they fall into a deep hole. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use: Body Flicker only allows a person to move forwards, so it can not be used to give you speed which you need to circle around your opponent. Not only that, add how deep the hole is.
- Quote :
- Name: Doton: Douro Shougaibutsu [Earth Release: Road Obstacle]
Type: Ninjutsu Rank: D Element: Earth Description: The user takes the chance of a charging target to use this jutsu. Through a couple of quick handseals, the user creates a few small rocks to pop out of the ground in the target's way. This effect is sudden to force the target to trip and hurt themselves. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use: Add how far from yourself can you make this rocks pop out.
- Quote :
- Name: Doton: Doro Bakudan [Earth Release: Mud Bomb]
Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Earth Description: This jutsu allows the user to create a dark brown sphere via the use of handseals. The bomb can then be thrown at the opponent to explode and blind them with an explosion of mud. Link: Medical use/Bastardized use: Add how large is the Mud Bomb actually. Also, you never mentioned from where do you create this Mud Bomb. Do you release it from your mouth, or do you turn the ground into a Mud Bomb? Though, mud is in a liquid form, so you can not actually pick up a large Mud Bomb and throw it at someone. Also, the explosion, does it make any damage or is it just for blinding someone?
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| | | Darthwin
Posts : 87
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Mon 05 Jul 2010, 10:36 pm | |
| details added |
| | | Lady A.
Posts : 423
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Tue 06 Jul 2010, 12:00 am | |
| a) doton jutsu: elemental jutsus cannot be e or d ranked. change them all to c-ranks, please. b) katon jutsu: you don't seem to have any fire-type jutsu, and your sub element is fire. are you okay with this?
c) item: if your character does not have an item with him, please remove that template. |
| | | Darthwin
Posts : 87
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Tue 06 Jul 2010, 12:28 am | |
| I was going to have him learn katon techniques later.
The thing is some of the techniques like Doton: Tsuchi Saiku don't do anything that would ever equals C - rank since it involves only throwing a mud at the opponent. |
| | | Lady A.
Posts : 423
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Tue 06 Jul 2010, 12:38 am | |
| a) inner decapitation skill: c-rank. b) earth trick: you are using chakra to push the dirt/mud balls faster to the opponent. if you weren't using chakra, then the jutsu wouldn't be a jutsu; you're just throwing mud at the opponent. c-rank. c) dirt wad formation: again, you're using chakra to mould the dirt together. without chakra to hold the mud together, it would end up flopping and collapsing. c-rank. d) hidden rope technique: i wouldn't think this jutsu's affinity is earth. i can see how it should be e-ranked, though. put this jutsu under your basic skills, and take out any mention of earth in the title and elemental affinity. e) road obstacle: you're using chakra to create those rocks to come forth from the ground. c-rank. |
| | | Darthwin
Posts : 87
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Tue 06 Jul 2010, 12:47 am | |
| ok I changed them to C-rank and moved hidden rope technique. |
| | | Lady A.
Posts : 423
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Tue 06 Jul 2010, 12:58 am | |
| a) rock fissure: how deep is the hole? b) mud bomb: i imagine that you are moulding the mud together with chakra? i guess that's the only possible explanation for it, since mud wouldn't hold together that well by itself. add that in please. |
| | | Darthwin
Posts : 87
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Tue 06 Jul 2010, 2:14 am | |
| ok fixed that part |
| | | Lady A.
Posts : 423
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Tue 06 Jul 2010, 2:26 am | |
| everything looks good. your role playing sample is a little weak, i have to admit. but i think once you start rping, you'll meet the genin word-minimum [250].
approved. welcome to kiri :) |
| | | Adam
Age : 31 Posts : 8965
| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] Sun 12 Dec 2010, 11:06 am | |
| Archived. |
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| Subject: Re: Oda, Drago [Kiri Genin] | |
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