Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin]

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Wakehi
Wakehi

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Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] EmptyThu 05 Apr 2012, 3:11 pm

Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] 11620101050

Wataki, Kurea

THE INFO.

Name: Wataki Kurea

Nickname: Sora

Age: 14

Gender: Female

Appearance: Kurea stands 4 feet 8 inches tall and weighs 90 lbs. Coupled with her pale skin and a slender build, people often mistaken her for a doll when she stays very still. Her hair is silky black and hangs down to the small of her back but she normally ties it in a loose pony tail so that it doesn’t obstruct her view. Her eyes on the other hand are emerald green in color.

For clothing, Kurea prefers to wear things that allow her to move around easily in. Therefore for her torso, she wears a unique dark green shirt that is sleeveless on the left side with a long kimono-like sleeve for the right arm. On her waist, there is a white sash with a slightly slanted cut at the ends. For bottoms, she wears a pair of light brown pants with a pair of black shinobi sandals on her feet. On her left arm, Kurea wraps a long white bandage around it which covers her arm from the lower end of her palm until her shoulder.

Forehead Protector: Tied left side of her waist on her sash.

Personality: Through training with her father, Kurea seems a bit more mature than other kids around her. Although often a bit shy, she knows and can tell the difference between private and official. Therefore, it seems almost as if she turns into a different person when on official business. Not talkative and coupled with being a bit shy, Kurea is never one to initiate conversation even with those she’s close to. However that does not prevent her from being daring and would often play tricks on someone if she wanted their attention in something. Even though she knows that her appearance makes people mistaken her for a doll most of the time, she does not like being treated as if she was a delicate doll. When in a playful or relatively happy mood, Kurea likes to play along with jokes even if it’s made on her. Kurea is generally a very patient person and could probably stay still in one place for a few hours at a time but she simply cannot stand people that rush into things without really thinking about their actions. They make her fly into a lecturing mode in which she would try to talk some sense into that person.

When Kurea is around unfamiliar people and is on official business, it would seem as if the girl has changed into a completely different person. She becomes very calm and likes to keep an eye on just about everything that she can notice. It is not easy to distract her when she becomes serious and would not waste a moment to reprimand anyone even if they were superiors. Also she keeps up a very polite nature around anyone she would meet even if they were hostile. And since she understands the importance of instructions and teamwork, Kurea would very rarely disobey instructions given to her unless a life was involved. However, Kurea is never one to be able to lead and so if she was asked to give an opinion with a choice, she would become indecisive and usually come to regret her choice.

Clan: Yuki

Nindō: “It doesn’t last forever.”

THE NINJA.

Origin: Lightning Country

Affiliation: Kumogakure no Sato

Rank: Genin

Specialties:
Main: Ninjutsu
Sub: Eijutsu

Elemental Affinities:
Main: Suiton
Sub: Fuuton
Advanced: Hyōton

Combat Style: When faced with combat, Kurea has calm and collected personality that plays a big role as she would be patient enough to observe her opponent before making her first move. She is not one that likes trouble and so she would always find ways to avoid being the one to instigate a fight and she would not make the first move while in combat no matter what.

Kurea is also quick minded enough to be able to form plans of escape or attack in the midst of a battle. She is also not afraid to take risks but does not favor them very much as she believes that every type of battle, whether they are against an enemy or even if it’s just a spar, it should be taken very seriously. Also, most of the time, Kurea likes to use a bit of trickery or a distraction of any type to distract her opponents that face them head to head normally for the first few moments of combat. This allows her to have enough time to observe her opponents.

Special Characteristics:
Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

THE BACKGROUND.

History:
Spoiler:

Roleplay Sample:
Spoiler:

THE ARSENAL.
Jutsu:
Academy:

Suiton:

Fuuton:

Hyōton:

Non-Elemental Ninjutsu:

Eijutsu:

Weaponry/Items:
Quote :
Name: Genin Kit
Rank: C
Type: Supplementary
Quantity: 1
Contents: 10 Kunai, 8 Shuriken, 5 Senbon, 2 Exploding Notes, 1 Exploding Pouch, Five Metres of wire/string, File, 10 Makibishi, 1 Windmill Shuriken, 2 blank small scrolls.

FACE CLAIM.

Character Claim: Unknown (Original Character)
Source: Photobucket
Image URL: https://2img.net/h/i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff244/Suzuki_Ruriko/11620101050.png


Last edited by Wakehi on Fri 06 Apr 2012, 9:22 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Enzo
Kumo Nin
Enzo

Age : 29
Posts : 1797

Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] EmptyThu 05 Apr 2012, 5:31 pm

  1. Where is your character's forehead protector located? Be specific.

  2. Please expand on the personality some more. Your character seems like a cardboard cut out. She's shy, okay; but what's her real personality? Shy people just hide things from people they don't know. How does she react with her friends? Also, go on to elaborate how she feels when fighting, how she feels when talking to superiors, etc. Is her shyness so bad that she can't talk to anyone? Think of these kinds of things when making a personality. Also, try to expand on the amount of emotions she has. What happens when she's angry, sad, happy, etc.? There are plenty of things to focus on when making a personality.

  3. Explain in your history why your character's surname is not Yuki, or change your character's surname to Yuki altogether. Your character cannot just have a different surname for no specific reason.

  4. Quote :
    Having faced a lot of shocking events throughout her life, Kurea is almost always able to stay calm and collected when faced with a hard to deal with situation.
    You state your character has face 'shocking' events, yet her history fails to show any real shocking events All I saw was her brother disappearing and the father gaining a bad injury. The brother bit could work, but you showed no development between your character and her brother at all. Her father being injured really wouldn't count. He'd come home with injuries regularly. He was a ninja after all. A big injury would be sad, but nowhere near traumatizing. Also, I fail to see how having seen shocking events will make her more calm. Doesn't trauma usually leave people unstable and the complete opposite of calm?

  5. Quote :
    Name: Mizukiri no Yaiba - Sword of Draining
    Rank: C
    Type: Ninjutsu
    Range: Close (0m - 5m)
    Element: Suiton (Water)
    Description: A jutsu that utilizes water to create a sword. The sword can be wielded in the normal fashion, allowing the ninja to cut and stab like a normal blade. This sword can also go through most fire jutsu.
    Chakra Cost: 8
    Add (2 per post) to the Chakra Cost.

  6. Quote :
    Name: Hyōton Disuku | Ice Disk
    Rank: C
    Type: Ninjutsu
    Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+)
    Element: Hyōton (Ice Release)
    Clan: Yuki
    Description: Hyōton Disuku is a ninjutsu technique used by the members of the Yuki clan. This jutsu turns the moisture particles in the air into an ice disk. They can be hurled with tremendous force at a target and are hard to dodge because of their transparency. They can also be strung together to spy on areas. They can also be used defensively, creating highly durable shields or disks to stand on to hover in the air.
    Chakra Cost: 5CP
    Please remove the hovering in air part. It makes no sense how the character can hover using ice. Even quantum levitation requires sub-zero temperatures and magnets.

  7. Quote :
    Name: Hyōton Tsubame Fubuki | Swallow Snow Storm
    Rank: C
    Type: Ninjutsu
    Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+)
    Element: Hyōton (Ice Release)
    Clan: Yuki
    Description: Hyōton Tsubame Fubuki is a ninjutsu technique used by the members of the Yuki clan. This jutsu creates a cluster of ice needles in the shape of miniature swallows, which the user then throws at the opponent. These needles can change direction in midair and will maim the opponent with their sharp wings.
    Chakra Cost: 5CP
    Add a limit to how many times it can change direction in mid air. Else this jutsu is over powered for a C-rank.

  8. Change the shousen technique to this:
    Code:
    [b]Name:[/b] Shousen no Jutsu - Mystical Hand Technique
    [b]Rank:[/b] C-A
    [b]Type:[/b] Medical Ninjutsu
    [b]Range:[/b] Close (0m - 5m)
    [b]Element:[/b] N/A
    [b]Description:[/b] Shousen Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilized by medical ninja. This technique allows the ninja to heal wounds by focusing their own chakra to their hands. If the higher the medical ninja's rank is the quicker they are able to heal more critical and serious injuries. Injuries of equal rank may be healed in 1 post, and completely restored in 2. If choosing to heal a wound higher than the rank of the Shousen used, it requires 2 extra post per rank. Thus C-rank Shousen healing an A-rank wound would require 5 posts to fully heal, while a B-rank wound would require 3 posts for instance. If healing a lower-ranked wound with a higher-ranked Shousen, the wound is fully healed in one post as opposed to two.
    [b]Chakra Cost:[/b] C- 8 (2 per post), B- 12 (4 per post), A- 20 (6 per post)

  9. Kindly add a picture to your app, and a face claim. Though not entirely necessary, it greatly helps to know what the character looks like for people who may choose to look at your character.


I realize the jutsu I listed are a part of the Encyclopedia, but that is currently being updated. Thank you.
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Wakehi
Wakehi

Posts : 68

Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] EmptyFri 06 Apr 2012, 7:32 am

Edits are made. Though for the pic, I have not been able to find one that I like to use to represent my character so would it be okay if I omit it now and ask to have one added when I find one?

Also I decided to redo the personality as I did not like the one that I originally had up after rereading it again.
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Enzo
Kumo Nin
Enzo

Age : 29
Posts : 1797

Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] EmptyFri 06 Apr 2012, 8:20 pm

Looks great to me! As for the picture, I'm sure we could work something out~ It's not entirely necessary to have a face claim anyway, as long as the appearance is imaginable.

[1/2] Approved!
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Keos
Keos

Age : 29
Posts : 1585

Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] EmptyFri 06 Apr 2012, 8:25 pm

Hello there! Enzo granted you his approval but I would like to point out some issues I stumbled upon while reading through your application.

So to start, since you have not chosen any image it is okay to not add one. As for the Face Claim, it is a rule that applies to images so not having one cancels out the rule itself until you eventually add a picture of your character. You can PM a staff member your image and face claim as soon as you get it, but please try to find one.

Apart from that, I would like you to check through your Appearance for spelling mistakes and probably rewrite some parts - and your History for grammar, as at some point you jump from past to present and the other way around in a confusing way. Although I can understand what you say, please try and fix these things in order to be easier for the reader to completely understand.

Finally, please explain your nickname, or remove. There is nothing mentioned in your personality nor in your history that indicates the nickname Sora, which actually means sky.

As long as you take care of what I mentioned above, you can have my approval. Thank you for your work.
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Wakehi
Wakehi

Posts : 68

Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] EmptyFri 06 Apr 2012, 9:28 pm

Alright, edits made though I'm not sure if that's what you are looking for. I added a bit to explain her nickname but as for grammar I'm not exactly sure if I really fixed much there. I did reword a few lines here and there for appearance and history though it's not that much.
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Keos
Keos

Age : 29
Posts : 1585

Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] EmptyFri 06 Apr 2012, 9:42 pm

That's okay, actually. Your willingness is what matters so I believe everything is now fine.

Really thank you for your work here.

Approved 1/2.
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Enzo
Kumo Nin
Enzo

Age : 29
Posts : 1797

Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] EmptyFri 06 Apr 2012, 11:00 pm

[2/2] Approved!
(Again)
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Enzo
Kumo Nin
Enzo

Age : 29
Posts : 1797

Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] Wataki, Kurea [Kumo Genin] EmptyTue 08 Jan 2013, 10:39 pm

Archived.
Due to Inactivity.
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