| | | Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed |  |
| |
Hoda
Age : 39
Posts : 122
 |  Subject: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Tue 03 Jul 2012, 7:38 am | |
|  Hyuuga, Zenki.THE INFO.
Name:Hyuuga, Zenki
Nickname:Zen
Age:16
Gender:Male
Appearance:Zenki is extremely fit, this coming from living off the land giving him a very lean look despite his size. He stands 6’0” with shoulder length black hair that hangs unevenly around his face and his eyes are that of the Hyuuga clan, with the slightest hint of silver and blue. At approx. 234 lbs, he ripples with the muscles of a honed predator, with powerful shoulders, thick powerful arms, solid midsection, and tree trunks for thighs, literally a boy in a mans body due to the hard manual labor he has done just so he could eat. Due to his poverty stricken lifestyle, he only has one outfit, which he hand washes daily after his shower, it consist of black pants, which only come down to the tops of his ankles and a form fitting gray shirt that he is on the verge of out growing. He has large hands that have been made callus and rough from hard work, and his skin has a deep olive tan color, much unlike his kinsmen milky skin, due to him being outside all the time, and its only scar is that of a seal upon his forehead. Despite his size and stature Zenki has an ability to not stand out among the crowd, fading into the background. He usually keeps his eyes adverted towards the ground, and always shows a slight hesitation when showing others his eyes entirely, this is both due to his lack of confidence, and his social awkwardness.
Forehead Protector: Worn on forehead to cover up the seal along his forehead.
Personality: Zenki is extremely sensitive, especially when insulted about his impoverishment, but as a subect of ridicule for most of his life he has learned to keep a cool exterior though he maybe close to tears inside. Most of these feelings get funneled into his guitar playing and music writing since he does not have anyone else to talk to. Even though he maybe standing in the mist of people, he always chooses to speak very little and none at all if he can help it. If one were to get him to speak, they would find a surprisingly insightful, and well read teenager, with wisdom that only comes from living a hard life.
There are few things that Zenki can't live without, and he knows this because he has gone without for most of his life, his guitar, that was gifted to him by a merchant that was farm from home. The merchant's daughter would have been trampled to death by a horse had Zenki not pulled her aside in time. The other thing he cannot live without is a book that he has had since he can remember, even before his days at the orphanage. It was an rather dingy looking book, with a well worn spine, and across its cover "Aesop's Fables" is written in plain bold text.
Not "unfriendly" per-say, but Zenki doesn't approach anyone, and tries his best to go unnoticed because it may cause an insult to be reigned down, or even worse an insult that grew into fighting.However despite his quietness he longs to connect to people and perhaps make a few genuine friends. Fighting always leaves Zenki feeling exhilarated and alive, his entire body crackling with life and power, which makes him concerned about what type of personality he has, but also pushed him to join the academy so he could perhaps harness these feelings and put them to good use.
His living situation, or lack there of has left little time or possibility for him to explore things he "likes" outside of his imagination and reading. But when shop owners ask him to play his music or other musicians ask him to play or sing, he has a very, very nice feeling that he has come to know as pride and self worth.
Clan:Hyuuga
Nindō:My feelings only count for something in music, this is business, I show up, I do my job, I leave.
THE NINJA.
Origin:Land Of Fire
Affiliation:Kumogakure
Rank:C (Genin)
Specialties:Taijutsu, Ninjutsu
Elemental Affinities:Raiton, Suiton
Combat Style: Aggressive, relentless, and overwhelming, Zenki is a full throttle type of fighter, going from 0-60 in a matter of seconds, and enjoys being in close range where his speed and instinct has a greater advantage. He does not have many mid range or long range attacks, but because of his excellent vision and speed he can manage to avoid being tagged. His two glaring weakness are that he can't take a great deal of punishment, and he can be overwhelmed mentally. Though he is extremely aggressive, he rarely attacks first, His ability to shift from ninjutsu to taijustu quickly is also one of the strengths he possess.
Special Characteristics:
- Spoiler:
Name: Improved Speed
Rank: C
Type: Physical Based
Physical Requirements: N/A
Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic.
Description: The first level in the art of speed accessible to those who have undergone intense training in high speed movement. The possessor of this talent has an increased speed of 20% which makes them slightly faster. They can cross distances quicker than others would expect and outrun others with little effort.
THE BACKGROUND.
History:
Pre-genin
Born to a Hyuuga woman in Konoha named Himori, Zenki is the product of a one time indiscretion that she had with a man whom was not her husband. Himori's husband tried to raise the boy as one of his own, until his 7th birthday, when he was first able to unlock his doujutsu, and thus received the seal that protected the Byakugan from being tampered with or more importantly stolen. He began training with his father tirelessly, and it appeared that he was doing well, grasping the movements and concepts with relative ease.
One year had gone by and Zenki had advanced in his stature,and upon his birthday he celebrated not only his birth, but his acceptance into the Ninja Academy. He was excited and enjoyed the festivities, but rushed to sleep so that he could rise early to be fully prepared for his training and classes the next day. Zenki awoke, his mother sat by his bed crying with the book that she always read from when he was going to sleep and a small dufflebag. Puzzled by this young Zenki attempted to comfort and console his mother the entire carriage ride to Kumogakure.
It wasn't until he was inside the orphanage and his mother kissed him on his forehead that Zenki began to grasp an idea of what was happening. He shed ceaseless tears in the folowing days, until he was finally forced to interact with the other children within the walls of his new home. It was here that he would discover his first taste of injustice at the hands of his peers. He was constantly bullied and called names due to his strange eye, one of the crueler children stated that eyes were the window to the soul and Zenki, didin't have any eye color because he didn't have a soul. This soon became the accepted reason why his parents no longer wished him to live with them. Time passed by in the orphanage much like this for 3 years, he was constantly isolated, becoming his own best friend, and finding most of his peace and serenity in books and music when it was available to him, deciding it was only making him better than his peers. Along with the habit of doing one hundred pushups and one hundred sit ups is a bed time ritual he still practices to this day.
One day while the children and the care taker were out shopping Zenki was standing outside of the shops waiting for his elder and the mischievous horde of cretins. His eyes caught glimpse of a young girl about to cross the path, but there was a carriage barreling in her direction at break neck speed. It wasn't a thought, or even an idea that Zenki had, but more of a reaction, before he even had time to process what was going on he had the young girl by the hand, pulling her out of the way just before the cart came streaking by. With tears in her eyes she explained to her father of the events as they had come to pass, telling her father that Zenki had saved her from being hit. Upon hearing this the man began to ask Zenki a barrage of questions, making the young boy shift uncomfortably as he did not no how to answer them, or if he should answer them. Seeing that it was getting him no where the gentleman made a statement that rather confused Zenki.
"You saved my daughters life, by right I have to give you whatever you desire, even if its half of my kingdom."
Zenki looked at the man strangely, not understanding completely what the man was intending to say, but grasping the gist of it he new exactly what it was that he wanted, he had been eyeing the shapely beauty for most of the conversation. It was simple really, wide flaring hips, and a smooth polished surface that seemed to take in the sun. Shiny knobs on top and six strings that ran most of its length, and a hole right in the bottom half of it. It captivated him, more than any book ever could. He pointed and simply said, "I want to play with that...", pointing to the guitar that was placed ever so carefully.
The man simply smiled and gave him the item, "Its called a guitar, and if you ever have any questions about it, you can come and ask me about it anytime.”
Here Zenki’s interest in music of all sorts became more in depth, constantly fed by the old merchant and the plethora of knowledge, theories and wisdom. And for a time he was happy.
When he was 14 the old man passed, leaving him a letter saying that over the years he had come to think of Zenki as a son, and that his greatest hope for the boy was for him to forget his past and do his best to live a rich, full life. This struck a chord with Zenki and that night he gathered his guitar and his book and left the orphanage, determined never to set foot in it ever again.
That first night it rained terribly, and the only place he could seek refuge was inside of a worn down barn with a rusty roof. He cried, and in this mist of his tears he penned his first song, and his most honest and best work to date. He began doing little odd jobs for enough money to eat, and every so often people would pass by while he was playing guitar and singing and give him a ryu or two. Every so often a shop owner would let him bathe and lend him some clothes so that he could play inside their shops to entertain their customers.
Genin
Finding that his means for food and other basic needs were becoming more meager by the day, Zenki saw the need to seek a real job and perhaps find a place to call his own. With his strength and size he automatically thought of becoming a bodyguard, after all protecting people was a natural response for him, and harming people seem to be as easy as playing guitar. So he signed up for the ninja academy and began his training a few days afterwards. Already bigger than the entire class, and somewhat versed in the art of hand to had combat, he exceled in taijutsu and showed patients and diligence in his ninjutsu skills putting him at #2 in his graduating class.
Last edited by Hoda on Sun 12 Aug 2012, 11:12 pm; edited 7 times in total |
|  | | Hoda
Age : 39
Posts : 122
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Thu 09 Aug 2012, 1:43 am | |
| Roleplay Sample: - Spoiler:
In His Comatose Mind
Screams echoed in the blackness off of invisible walls that threatened to keep Hoda forever, and yet at his feet he felt thousands of hands reaching for him, clawing at his feet begging for him to slip down...all the way down. The darkness was suffocating and stifling, and yet endless all at once, making direction and orientation next to impossible, so there Hoda floated, struggling to get somewhere, to find something, but as much as he moved, the hands that pulled his feet slowly wrapped around his ankles, and weighed him down until he had not the strength to move again.
"This must be Hell...", is all that Hodaka kept thinking.
He had run out of time, and strength to hold on another moment longer, and had resigned himself to floating into the abyss. But something rang through the darkness, he couldn't quite understand it or see it, but the voice called to him, in a way that he hadn't felt in a long time. He struggled to see what was calling so sweetly to him in such a far down place, and thats when the crushing darkness began to wash away. Each and every note lifting more and more of the weight that held his chest down until the darkness finally faded away. And when it did Hoda smiled, it appeared he had made it to heaven after all. He could make out the sounds of running waters near by. And the angel that had raised him from the depths of hell held his cheek softly, making him smile with all the love in his heart, he had made it to the heaven, and he could finally rest...
(In The Real World)
Hodaka looked up at Sagi, completely unaware of where he was, or the condition he was in, but in the brief seconds before the pain washed over him, there was a look of the deepest appreciation and love that a being could share with another being. He loved the woman that held his cheek in a fashion that he could not quite understand, so tenderly was its touch that it made Hodaka try to sit up to greet the one whos voice called him from the pits of hell.
And thats when the pain hit him full force...
It was the cough that racked his very bones that let him know at least 3 of his ribs were broken, and upon breathing in a ragged breath, he felt pain that could only be described as the tearing of his abdominal. He quickly curled up into a ball and rolled on to his stomach, grimacing in pain. This couldn't be heaven, you couldn't feel this amount of pain in heaven. So where the hell was he, and who the hell brought him back from the most dismal place he had ever imagined.
From the sprayed hair that hung over his face, Hodaka moved his eyes to view the beautiful woman that had only moments ago held his cheek. Green hair, piercing on a lovely face, and a heavy dose of eyeliner that drew even more attention to already astonishing eyes.
"S..Sa...Sagi?", he managed to say through constricted breath.
Was this the woman that called to his soul only moments ago....
"Sagi....you came...for me...", he said half shocked but very greatful.
THE ARSENAL.
Jutsu, Weaponry, Items etc.
Jutsu:
- Academy Jutsu:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique
Rank: E
Type: Genjutsu
Range: N/A
Medium: Optical
Element: N/A
Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others.
Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures.
Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: 10 meters
Element: N/A
Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread.
Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Fuuinjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand.
Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu.
Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor.
Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique
Rank: E
Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed.
Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking
Rank: D
Type: N/A
Range: N/A
Element: NA
Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique.
Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing
Rank: D
Type: N/A
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall.
Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Ninjutsu:
- Raiton:
Name: Rakurai - Lightning Strike
Rank: D
Type: Nin - Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m)
Element: Raiton
Description: Rakurai is a ninjutsu and taijutsu mixture utilizing the lightning element. After gathering chakra to the fist, the user is able to create multiple sparks of electricity to form around the top of their hand for it then to alter into a source of lightning. This lightning is to enhance the pain when delivering a punch and also numbs the area of attack for an entire post.
Chakra Cost: 3
Taijutsu:
- Spoiler:
Name: Rariatto - Lariat
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m)
Element: -
Description: Rariatto is a taijutsu technique. After gathering enough chakra within their entire body, the user will be able to gain an sudden burst in strength and speed. The user will straighten their dominant arm so that they can form a greater attack. Then using their speed the user will rush towards their target and ram into their upper chest with their strengthened arm, forcing the opponent to the ground.
Chakra Cost: 8
Name: Konoha Reppuu - Leaf Violent Wind
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: The move here is a simple rear spinning low kick, but a strong enough user can send a large adult flying as if they weighed nothing. The goal is to throw the enemy off balance, and deal damage to the lower half of their body.
Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Konoha Senpuu - Leaf Whirlwind
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: A taijutsu where one launches a succession of high kicks and low kicks. Firstly, the opponent's evasion margin is restrained upon seeing the high kick, thus augmenting the chances for the low kick to hit the mark.
Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Konoha Kage Buyou - Leaf Shadow Dance
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: Konoha Kage Buyou is a Taijutsu technique that is used to position a ninja's opponent into a vulnerable aerial position. The ninja will first quickly appear below their opponent, then with a switch upper kick they will launch their target into the air. The ninja will then jump into the air to "shadow" the target with the target's back to their chest. This move is used before preforming "Omote Renge - Front Lotus" or "Shishi Rendan - Lion Combo".
Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Konoha Dai Senpuu - Leaf Great Whirlwind
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: A series of kicking attacks, starting from a low kick and linking into a middle kick and high kick then finishing off with a heel drop. As the rotation speed picks up the user gains buoyancy, which they use to shift into gradually higher attacks.
Chakra Cost: 5
Name: Konoha Shoufuu - Leaf Rising Wind
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: This jump uses the entire body as a spring by amassing power in the legs before kicking upwards. Because the power of the kick from the ground is instantly converted into a blow, the enemy hit with this attack will be launched high into the sky.
Chakra Cost: 5
Name: Shishi Rendan - Lion Combo
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: The user first uses the "Konoha Kage Buyou - Leaf Shadow Dance" to manuever his/her opponent in a vulnerable aerial position. While shadowing his/her opponent, the user will attempt to strike them from a vulnerable angle. If he/she is unable to make a clean strike, he/she will strike anyway as a feint, to draw his/her target's attention and defense to one area. The user can then strike the undefended area and begin knocking them downwards towards the ground. As the enemy falls back to the earth, the user will deftly rotate his/her body around to deliver a full force kick to their chest.
Chakra Cost: 7
Hyuuga Clan Jutsu
- Doujutsu:
Name: Byakugan (Activation)
Rank: E-S
Type: Bloodline - Doujutsu
Range: Description
Clan: Hyuuga
Description: Byakugan "White Eye" is a dōjutsu kekkei genkai of the Hyūga clan. This technique is the activation of the ability from the eyes previous dormant state. When activated the users lavender eyes become more focused, their pupils become more distinct, and the veins near their temples bulge. Byakugan gives the user a near 360º field of vision, except for one small blind spot at the back of the neck above the third thoracic vertebra. The second ability is being able to see through solid objects, and can use a degree of telescopic sight. The user is able to see into vasts distances in which a regular eye cannot behold. They are capable of seeing insects behind trees with distinct perception and look behind wall with the Byakugan's ability. The third and one of the greatest uses of the Byakugan is the ability to see chakra, chakra flow as well as the chakra circulation system inside the body with great detail. It is from this particular ability that they are able to employ their ultimate attack style: Gentle Fist. It was also noted that the Byakugan can also discern a transformation and a real person using the eye's ability to see chakra, as well as barriers. The distance and the degree of telescopic sight varies from member to member. [C-Ranked] activation is able to see 50m in radius. [B-Ranked] activation is able to see 150m in radius. [A-Ranked] is able to extend 400m in radius. And finally [S-Ranked] is able to extend 900m in radius.
Chakra Cost: 3CP per Post; A-rank 4CP per post; S-rank 5CP per post.
- Taijutsu:
Name: Gentle Fist
Rank: E-S
Type: Taijutsu
Clan: Hyuuga
Description: This is the base fighting style the Hyuuga learns at an early age, which emphasis the abilities of their Byakugan which allows them to see chakra networks. This is an advanced fighting style which is difficult to learn and requires much practice and dedication to master. This technique allows the user to passively seal a persons Tenki points upon physical contact, thus slowly depleting their chakra in the process. 3CP will be depleted with each successful attack from the user, no matter how minimal it is. Because the chakra network and human system are so aligned, while depleting a persons tenki points the user also causes severe internal pain upon the contacted area. Technique does not apply to jutsu.
Name: Hiratehi-ru Dageki | Palm Heel Strike
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m)
Description: Hiratehi-ru Dageki is a very base technique performed by the members of the Hyuuga Clan. This attack consists of a quick, precise thrust of the users' palm to an opponent's body. If the jutsu strikes at dead center, it may can thrust the enemy back a couple of meters.
Chakra Cost: 3CP
Name: Chakura Hari no Jutsu | Chakra Needle Technique
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu - Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m)
Description: Chakura Hari no Jutsu is a common technique performed by the members of he Hyuuga Clan. After focusing chakra outside the body, the chakra is formed into visible needles which can be propelled at the user's target. By using Byakugan, this technique can be used to hit very small targets, such as bees etc. This attack can also be used to attack a persons chakra network by performing accurate shots into their chakra system. It these needles exceed the range, they disappear. 4 needles make be made at one time using this jutsu.
Chakra Cost: 4CP
Name: Hakke Kūshō | Eight Trigrams Empty Palm
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Description: Hakke Kūshō is a technique performed by members of the Hyuuga Clan. This technique is similar in practice to Eight Trigrams Palms Heavenly Spin, but has a specific target rather than a general area. To perform it, the user precisely pinpoints the enemy's vital points with the Byakugan and releases a high-speed palm thrust. A "vacuum shell" compressed using the Gentle Fist is formed to violently push the opponent away a few meters.
Chakra Cost: 7CP
Name: Hakkeshō Kaiten | Eight Trigrams Palms Heavenly Spin
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Description:
Chakra Cost: Hakkeshō Kaiten is a technique performed by members of the Hyuuga Clan. A Taijutsu technique unique to the Hyuuga bloodline using the Jyuuken. Kaiten is a special technique passed down through the main family line. Kaiten takes advantage of several of the unique abilities of the Byakugan eye. Byakugan gives the clan member an almost complete 360 degree view of their surroundings. This allows the member to see all angles of attack. If an attack is near, the clan member will release a large of amount of chakra from their tenketsu. The member then begins to spin like a top, creating a whirling vortex that can nullify almost any attack.
Chakra Cost: 8CP
Name: Hakke Sanjūni Shō | Eight Trigrams Thirty-Two Palms
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Clan: Hyuuga
Description: Eight Trigrams Thrity-Two Palms is a technique performed by the members of the Hyuuga Clan. When an opponent is within the clan members divination field of attack, they can quickly begin their assault. The technique allows the clan member to use the Byakugan eye to see the inner chakra coils system. Using the Jyuuken style, they can force their chakra through their hands into the tenketsu of the opponent's body through 32 strikes. First the clan member will strike 2 times, then 4, 8, 16, and finally 32. This damage forcibly closes 32 tenketsu, slowing the chakra flow of the opponent. Those who fall victim of this technique will consume 25% more chakra per jutsu for 2 posts. C-ranked ninja may find it difficult to avoid this attack, though higher ranked ninja may interrupt it by evading if skillful enough.
Equipment:
Name: Genin Kit
Rank: C
Quantity: 1
Contents: 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1].
FACE CLAIM.
Character Claim:Neji
Source:Naurto
Image URL: https://2img.net/h/i142.photobucket.com/albums/r86/butchbrown99/Aftermath___Hyuuga_Neji_by_linnyxit.jpg
Last edited by Hoda on Fri 10 Aug 2012, 10:50 am; edited 3 times in total |
| | | | Kiseki
Posts : 1216
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Fri 10 Aug 2012, 3:16 am | |
| | You need a roleplay sample, you need to fill out the face claim section. You are over you 15 limit for jutsu not including the academy jutsu. And this is just a nit pick but your origin needs to be a country not a village. |
| | | | Hoda
Age : 39
Posts : 122
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Fri 10 Aug 2012, 10:51 am | |
| | Thank you very much for the review, all that you have requested has been taken care of. |
| | | | Kiseki
Posts : 1216
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Fri 10 Aug 2012, 11:05 am | |
| Well this is just a nitpick considering your height in the equation. But for a 16 year old at 6'0, you are overweight. Not by 100 pounds but by a good 30 or so.
- Code:
-
[b]Special Characteristics:[/b]
That belongs just under combat style and you are allowed to start off with one special characteristic at C-rank. |
| | | | Hoda
Age : 39
Posts : 122
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Fri 10 Aug 2012, 11:14 am | |
| | Fixed, and he is supposed to be overweight not especially fat, but just larger than most, its something that reflects on his social interaction and will change as he progresses. |
| | | | Kiseki
Posts : 1216
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Sat 11 Aug 2012, 1:04 am | |
| I like you Hoda. You're responsive and you're polite. I'm glad to give you my approval.
1/2 Approved |
| | | | Hoda
Age : 39
Posts : 122
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Sat 11 Aug 2012, 3:34 am | |
| | Thank you very much, I do what I can. |
| | | | Enzo
Age : 29
Posts : 1797
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Sun 12 Aug 2012, 7:42 pm | |
| Very well done, but there are a few small nitpicks I'll have to go through just for the sake of fluidity. First; you're allowed a second element. Though it is not REQUIRED, it is recommended; as the only other way to get this second element is through a grueling training topic. You don't need to have jutsu for this element right now (although I recommend it), but it will make things a bit easier later on if you wish.
The only other error is a broken spoiler tag in your special characteristics, but once these small nitpicks are fixed, I can give you my second approval.
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| | | | Hoda
Age : 39
Posts : 122
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Sun 12 Aug 2012, 11:13 pm | |
| | Thanks for the input, the corrections you asked for have been made. |
| | | | Enzo
Age : 29
Posts : 1797
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Mon 13 Aug 2012, 12:28 am | |
| [2/2] Approved!
(Don't forget to make an Account.) |
| | | | Enzo
Age : 29
Posts : 1797
| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed Tue 08 Jan 2013, 10:37 pm | |
| Archived.
Due to Inactivity. |
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| | Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zenki (Kumo Genin) Completed | |
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