deleted

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deleted

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*This is reserved for clan members who want to share their Gravitational jutsu with the rest of the clan*

Age : 37 Posts : 1136

App isnt bad but the Jutsu itself is both rather OP and vague. I suggest splitting the different aspects of control into seperate jutsu and defining them more comprehensively

I would be tempted to separate this:

This is the most basic form of the Sanada clans gravity-based jutsu. This allows them to push or pull objects even enemies to them, lessen the gravity around them making them more agile or even helps to lift objects that would normally prove to heavy. The effectiveness of the jutsu depends on the rank of the user, the scale is below.

Into this:

A Jutsu tp push or pull objects even enemies to them

A Jutsu involving lessening the gravity around them making them more agile (please explain how this is achieved)

A Jutsu involving lessening the gravity around them to helps them lift objects that would normally prove to heavy

Posts : 20

A freaky edit

Posts : 1044

You mention a Doujutsu advancement but I cant see any reference to what it actually does, what each level does, etc. its just a bunch of statements about its evolution, which is pointless if it doesn't, ya' know, do something?

Posts : 20

Not sure if you read it completely but uh, I did go into what the advancement does. In order to use better gravity based jutsu then your gonna need to advance. Each new advancement allows higher use of gravity jutsu, for example: If your at the basic level which is Midgard then all your able to do is perform E-C rank gravity jutsu. Even if your a jounin if you havent reached the next advancement your limited to C-Rank Jutsu. I dont know how else i could make this clear for ya wit out repeatin myself.

Posts : 1044

No, you just provided a parenthetical rank reference but said nothing about that being the rank limit of the user's jutsu, so if you intended that you need to specify that point because otherwise its just incoherent babble. You're not making it clear to me, you're making it clear to the reader in general and thus the application should be edited to reflection your intentions.

Also, a Doujutsu should be directly related to your clan, this feels like it was just tacked on to have an addition. What exactly is the purpose of the eyes, besides OOC purposes for rank of jutsu allowed. Why do your eyes affect your ability to use clan jutsu in the first place? None of your jutsu even mention using eye contact or a clan Doujutsu, so why do you have it? Its pointless to have, as I said, if it does nothing.

Posts : 20

Freaknik wrote:: Midgard aka Gray Eyed Ones:*E-C rank jutsu only regardless of rank*

Nogard aka Fire Eyed Ones:
*E-Brank, must be chunin+ to attain first then this can be trained for* (1000 word training topic required) One cannot have all 2 forms only one may be available at this level of Amida.

~Near Death:
Depending on how ambitious the user is and how strong his will to live is, the Amida will answer his/her plea for help in a manner of speaking by allowing the Amida to take its next level. This raises only one of the clansmen abilities speed to great levels *doubled their natural speed and reflexes*. This particular version of the Fire eye is referred as the Extinguished eye, because the flames of the eye look as if they are about to go out. Using gravity to make their own bodies lighter makes the increased speed and reflexes possible.

~Training: It is possible to train for this though it takes more effort *an extra 500 words* this allows the strength of the user to double than its natural power and endurance. This refers particular form is called the Erratic eye, because the flames of the eye rage almost as if outside the eye.

Ignigard aka Eye of Death:
*E-S rank jutsu, must be Jounin and special permission given to attain it*

Again I will say I stated these limits and why they are limited. The eye color is simple a means as that allows them to use gravity. If your not reading my app clearly its not my fault.

Posts : 1044

I'm asking for 'why's...

Quote :: Also, a Doujutsu should be directly related to your clan, this feels like it was just tacked on to have an addition. What exactly is the purpose of the eyes, besides OOC purposes for rank of jutsu allowed. Why do your eyes affect your ability to use clan jutsu in the first place? None of your jutsu even mention using eye contact or a clan Doujutsu, so why do you have it? Its pointless to have, as I said, if it does nothing.

Posts : 20

Sigh aight brah i edited what i think your trying to ask of me although you are confusing the hell out me with all this. I find all this unnecessary as i think i was quite thorough with the detail. But watevah -edited-

Age : 35 Posts : 1492

Alright. How does having this Doujutsu allow you to have powers over gravity? The Doujutsu does nothing to involve gravity and gives their own abilities in the first place.

There are 3 types of bloodlines. Body, Chakra based, and Doujutsu. You have 2 different types of bloodline in this one application, a Doujutsu and Chakra (gravity). Only one is allowed.

Now, if you want the eyes to show which level of gravity jutsu are available. But you cannot have bonuses from different eye colors. Its one or the other.

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edited yo

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a freaky bump

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Dayum a whole week ... wateva bumped again

Posts : 1084

Archived.