Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Sora Tomoko-DONE-

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Stephanie
Stephanie

Posts : 87

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyFri 09 Apr 2010, 6:37 am

Basic Information:

    Name:
    Sora Tomoko
    Secondary Title:
    Silver Eyed Witch(lol...)
    Age:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Physical Appearance:
    Sora Tomoko-DONE- 2aiejnq

    Sora is different from the rest of the women around her. Sora is slightly more muscular, leaner, and taller. She is a beautiful women, with a strong body to match with a strong mind. Sora is 6'0, and weighs One Hundred and Thirty pounds with 9% of that being body fat. Sora has a naturally tanned skin color, received from her dark skinned father in Kumogakure.

    Sora's face is unique from the rest of the people in Konohagakure. She had a tatto starting at the forehead and traveling to the middle of the brow. The Tattoo reads "Brutality". She also has black tattooes lines on her face and around her eyes giving her a "cat eye" style. Sora has silver eyes. The woman has brown hair that goes to her breasts, however, ninety percent of the time she keeps it in a bun. She has two very long braids that hang to the floor. She has three senbon in her hair, disguised of course.

    During the course of her duties she wears her combat armor, which is a mix between reinforced steel and hard leather. She wears a gold samurai mask that protects her identity, even though she is not in any special force. She likes the mask because it installs a fear into some of her enemies. When she is not on duty she wears normal cloths such as: Jeans, shirts, sweaters, coats. Surprisingly, she likes to stay in fashion.
    Personality:
    Sora is bipolar, and her personalities switch at random times. Both personalities are Sora, and they communicate in the mind of the woman. Sora is fully sane regardless of this hidden condition. One of her sides is brutal, deceiving, unloving, and bloody. She shifts towards this in more combat situations. This side of her is extremely insane. She is focused on her enemy, and literally forgets everything else. This does not mean she acts irrationally. She is still brilliant, but every thought and calculation is used against her enemy.

    When she is not at battle she is in her other personality with is considerably more sane and calm. She speaks with purpose, is some-what kind, cares about things in life, and is pretty normal. In this personality she has a bad swearing habit and does not put up with bullshit except when she has to or if it is coming from a superior. Sora has no interest in men, and see's them as tools and inferior beings. She has been rumored to carry children from numerous one night stands, but these have yet to be confirmed.

    Regardless of what personality Sora is in at the moment, she is extremely respective of people stronger than her. She has such obiedience that she can even snap from her rage mode in some cases. She does not measure strength by powers. She looks at the person as a whole, and thinks about what they have been through. Also, Sora is insanely protective of her family. Her family is her clan. If you pick on one, then you deal with her. The
    Catch Phrase:
    Does your character have any catch phrases? Optional.


Clan Information:

    Clan Name:
    Tomoko Clan
    Clan Location:
    Established in Konoha-Around the World.
    Clan Traits:
    When people are born, they are extremely ugly, and are often referred to as trolls. Once they hit puberty, they grow into highly beautiful people, and they often turn heads when they walk the streets of populated areas. Tomoko children develop their milestones in their childhood twice as fast. The Tomoko are extremely intelligent, and may be the most intelligent people in the world. They can calculate things extremely fast, find solutions to problems with ease. In more extreme cases some have a photographic memory.
    Kekkei Genkai:
    The Tomoko have the ability to see ones past by touching them after increasing the flow of chakra in the brain. There are different levels in which this can be done. Tomoko in the Academy Student range to the Genin range can see about 6 or 7 hours into the targets past. Chunin can see the targets past 24-48 hours. A ranked shinobi may be able to see up to 72 to 96 hours in the past, and S ranked shinobi can see the user's past week. When the user see's the targets past it usually happens in an instant as if the memories are copied, and then pasted in the users mind.

    There is also a dark secret to the Tomoko. When a member dies, another member generations later will inherit thier memories. It is not known why, but the Tomoko believe that people will inherit the memories of another member who closely resembles them mentally and spiritually. The deceased and the living share a close bond. This bond should be closely monitored, because in some rare cases the user will actually become the deceased ancestor in a way. They will begin to think exactly like them, talk like them, act like them, and they might even change their appearance to resemble them. This is the clan's secret, and even Konoha know's nothing of it. The Tomoko can be equivalent to a library. They hold the world's future in many fragments.
    Secret Clan Jutsu:
    Name: 6 Hour Remembrance
    Type: Ninjutsu
    Rank: D
    Element: None
    Description: After touching the target, the user is able to see the last six hours in the targets past. This costs 5% of the user's chakra.


    Name: 24-48 Hour Remembrance
    Type: Ninjutsu
    Rank: B
    Element: None
    Description: After touching the desired target, the user is able to see the last 24-48 hours of the targets past. This cost 10% of the user's chakra.


    Name: 48-92 Hour Remembrance
    Type: Ninjutsu
    Rank: A
    Element: None
    Description: After touching the desired target, the user is able to see the last 48-92 hours of the targets past. This cost's 15% of the user's chakra.

    Name: Memory Seal
    Type: Medical
    Rank: A-S
    Element: Ninjutsu
    Description: After touching the desired target on the head, the user is able to literally delete that last month of the target's memory. This takes 80% of her chakra. This jutsu can be used one step further(S), in which the user deletes the entire memory of the target. The effect is that the user goes into a coma for 48 hours(Real time). After that it will take a full day(24 hours) to recover their chakra, and even then they will be weak. The target does not lose jutsu or abilties.

    Name: 168 hour remembrance
    Type: Ninjutsu
    Rank: S
    Element: None
    Description: After touching the desired target, the user can see the last 7 days(169 hours) of the targets past. This takes 20% of the user's chakra.

    Name: Memory Subtraction and Addition
    Type: Medical
    Rank: S
    Element: None
    Description: After touching the target's head the user is able to either delete a specific memory or add an entirely new one. The user is able to add or subtract a maximum or two memories at a time. These memory changes are permanent . There is no way to reverse this or have the the target remember something that has been temporarily deleted. This can not be used in battle and must be used with a controlled target. This jutsu can take multiple hours.
    History:
    Sora Tomoko-DONE- Skull_and_bones_0154

    Kiki Tomoko, the Tomoko Clan Founder was rumored to appear as one of the first shinobi in the world. During the first wars she fought as a mercenary, and quickly rose beyond the position of a common mercenary. Soon Kiki had a company of her own mercenaries which fought alongside the uchiha for a short time before abandoning them to a rival clan. Tomoko's company was slaughtered and she was taken captive by the man in charge. Kiki was treated like a common slave, and eventually used her intelligence to become the commander's mistress. The army fought countless times against minor bloodlines and common mercenaries. Kiki soon became the brains behind the entire army. She was the meaning of the saying "Behind every great man lies a great woman."

    Throughout the years Kiki laid with the commander many times, and bore 12 children by the time of her death. 4 Children possessed the bloodline, though she kept it a secret. Kiki would soon murder her master, and flee leaving the children without the bloodline to fend for themselves at a young age. She took the children to a valley where they lived for 15 years. Soon after those 15 years Kiki died of a brain tumor. The children would continue the bloodline for the sake of their mothers memory.

    For about 50 years the four children expanded the clan in that same valley, later named Tomoko Valley. However a massive blow would hit the clan. Surrounding people living in and out of the valley heard of the Tomoko's power, and began to think of them as witches and demons. Hundreds of people raided the villages of the Tomoko's and butchered well over half of the clan in the span of about a year. During these months the clan members were taught in the way of warfare and began fighting back. Some of them became complete savages. The Tomoko clan became to disorganized they began wandering around the world. Some became so poor they began to eat the bodies of their victims. The clan disappeared for about 100 years before a small tribe returned to seek safety. Soon after that time the Fire Country was established, and they wished to seek safety at the shinobi village. Throughout the years, women have been elected to lead the clan because a great woman had started it. Kiki became a god and was worshiped. There was a prophecy that whoever inherited Kiki's memories would rise to become a great woman, but would have a tragic ending much like Kiki's. The clan has also not forgotten the Uchiha's betrayal, and many members spit upon the mention of an Uchiha.
    Clan Details:
    Open, Members require my persmission


Rank Information:

    Rank:
    Jounin
    Village Affiliation:
    Fire Country Citizen
    Leaf Village Shinobi


Special Information:

    Character Speciality:
    Main: Ninjutsu
    Sub: Fuuinjutsu
    Elemental Affinity:
    Main: Lightning
    Sub: Earth
    Special Characteristics:
    -Sora is very intelligent, and can do many math calculations in very short times.
    -Sora was born with Situs Inversus, which means her organs and major blood vessels are placed in the opposite side of the body. There are no health issues with this and people with it usually lead healthy lives.
    -Sora is Bipolar
    -Sora has had nerve damage in her right arm. She can feel little to no pain in that arm.


Skill Information:
Note: You can find the other templates in the other Creation Areas if your character needs them.

Weapon Template:

Quote :
Spoiler:

Other Common Weapons:
Spoiler:



Item Template:

Quote :
Spoiler:
[/list]

Background Information

    History:

    Birth & Early Childhood:
    Sora was born in the land of lightning 24 years ago. Her father was a Village Shinobi, and her mother was a Tomoko. There were many custody battles over Sora. The clan wanted newly born innocent babies to be taken care by the clan in Konoha. Kumogakure wanted Sora so that they could make their own branch in their village. This was Important because the Leaf Village would no longer have the only clan of the Powerful Tomoko Bloodline.

    This feud lasted a decade, until one side took action. The Tomoko had a meeting on night, with several of it's ANBU members. The Tomoko were small and weak in numbers, but they knew much about the village because of memories passed down from generations ago. They were a close family, and planned every event with everyones approval. The Tomoko decided that it was too unsafe to the clan and village, if Sora received the memories of a member from generations ago such as Kiki. Also, they had to keep other villages from creating a Branch of Tomoko. Three of the Tomoko who were ANBU were sent to retrieve Sora and leave no evidence.

    That night the ANBU invaded the large estate of Sora's mother and Father. It was a rather quick affair. One of the Ninja came in through the window, in Sora's Bedroom, and grab her while she was sound asleep. The other two came in through other windows, and made their way to the parent's bedroom. They placed three explosive tags on the outside of the door, then proceeded in. They found the man standing there, fully prepared for battle.

    The ANBU were suprised, they had no idea the father was a sensory type. It would not matter, the ANBU deceived him. They fought hard for several minutes with the result of the ANBU on the ground. One was dead, and the other lost purposesly when he knew he had no chance of killing him. As the man walked through the door he activated the tags, blowing a large crater in the house, and killing the father. The ANBU got up from the floor, grabbed the mom by the hair, and slit her throat.

    They burned the entire house that night. The mother, father, and dead ANBU agent were turned into ash. Sora's memories were completely wiped, except those that were very important to her functioning. Instead, new memories were placed in the brain. Sora now knew that she had a new family, new friends, and a new home.

    Academy Student & Genin Arc

    Sora was brought to Konoha right before enrollment took place in the Academy of Konoha. Because of Sora's natural intelligence, she graduated after 3 months. She had her own private ceremony with her clan where she received her headband. Suspicion quickly arose about Sora in Kumogakure, and the clan was forced to keep her hidden for several months. During 7 months inside the Tomoko Compound she for 4 months solely on her Bloodline abilties.

    Through her training it was discovered she was displaying traits of Kiki Tomoko, the first Tomoko to walk the earth. Sora began having dreams of war, cannibalism, and sexual intercourse. She was reliving the memories of Kiki Tomoko. After her training was complete people were convinced that she was bipolar. One side of her personality was some-what kind and loving, and the other was brutal and ferocious. Over the years, her more brutal personality evolved and became dominant over her other personality. The brutal personality was closely to that of Kiki Tomoko.

    After an important meeting, it was decided that Sora was a direct descendant of Kiki Tomoko, had her memories, and would in fact be the next great clan leader when she became of age. The clan leader seemed overjoyed, but secretly was plotting. The girl was only 11. In 7 years an assassination would take place and the clan would be changed forever.

    Because of how Sora was locked in the compound, she missed the first round of Chuunin Exams. She had 5 months to practice as hard as she could on her Ninjutsu abilities. As soon as suspicion had died about Sora, she was allowed to walk the village again, and was put in a team and was sent to work right away. As time passed she sought help from Imo Tomoko, the clan leader. To gain Sora's trust, Imo took Sora on as her part-time sensei. It was only part time because she was on another team as well. She was now receiving training from two jounin.

    Sora completed 23 Missions while she was a Genin, and she had only failed one because her team mate was injured and had to be rushed to a medical room. By the time the Chunin Exams had arrived Sora was more than ready. She was not ready for the injuries she would receive though. Sora had easily passed the written exam, and then headed for the forest of death with her team. During the adventure she was injured when she was kicked off of a tree, and fell directly in a man eating poisonous plant. The jaw's began to close right when she fell in it had already began to swallow her arm. With her arm in it's throat the acid began eating away at it in an incredible pace.

    Her team was able to uproot it, and catch it afire. The plant vomited, which released Sora. Her arm was badly eaten away when she was attended to. The best she could do was wrap it, sling it, and keep on going. The team was eventually able to finish the objective, and they passed. During the tournament Sora end up surrendering because of her injuries. Her intelligence and ability was expressed during the battle, and that scored her high in the Hokage's eyes. Two days after the exams, the Hokage would announce that Sora, and a few other would receive Chuunin Status. Sora was well on her way in making her mark in the world.


    Chuunin Arc & Jounin

    Sora had made it to Chuunin after only a year and a half from making her home in the Village. Sora was happy but secretly was fighting her own battles within. She was now having dreams nightly. Instead of nightmares, they were a little more calm. Sora had grown used to them and it rarely woke her up in a sweat. Every morning, she would record her dreams. These really weren't dreams..just memories becoming known. They came in waves. In one month she was dream every night, and the next she would rarely. Soon she had a small library. Much of the time period before the Leaf Village was now recorded. The Uchiha's treachery was now proven as well. These records and documents were kept secret from even the Hokage. Only Imo, the scribes, clan officials, and Sora knew about it.

    Sora was now almost thirteen, and the trust between her and Imo was beginning to solidify. Imo had slipped up a couple times, but she was sure that it would mean nothing. The training in Ninjutsu was beginning to finish up, and Imo would begin teaching Sora in the ways of Taijutsu. Because of the Tomoko's ability to see memories by touch, it would be important for them to know close combat styles. Sora trained hard and complete one A rank mission, 11 B ranked missions, and 16 C ranked missions.

    When Sora was 16 she was promoted to a Special Jounin. Because of her clan ability she would be a valuable asset to the torture team in Konoha. She would become part of the team. She spent two years there. During her duty in that team she had to see the memories of many people and she felt she was being abused by her clan, and by the village. For every person she touched, some of their memories were put inside her. She saw many bad things happen and learned much about Konohagakure and it's schemes and inner workings.

    Two years was too much for her. She became a part time member of the Interrogation Squad. She would take the Jounin exams on the day before her 18th birthday, which was also the last day of duty on the Interrogation team. After being penned in the dealings of Konohagakure she was eager to become and official Jounin. Of course like everyone predicted, Sora had passed. The hours after her Jounin Status was given to her, she overheard one of her best friends reciting a memory to a scribe about the events in Kumogakure and Sora herself. That night she crept into her friends room and read the memories of her kidnapping. Sora was enraged, and murdered her friend in his own bed before leaving the room.

    Her celebration party was at the Tomoko compound the next morning, and Sora had a plan of her own. Sora was able to get one of her friends to poison 4 glasses. She was able to play the card that she would be the clan leader in a few hours, and that it was a direct order. After the drinks were poisoned she directed the servers to serve the tray of drinks to the table of the clan officials.

    Imo the clan leader's assassination was in place. Tomorrow and Urgent message would go to the Hokage, saying that several Tomoko members were rumored to be joining a rival village. Of course, the Hokage would send Tomoko members to deal with the mess. Sora would be amoung them. Sora would be followed by two squads of highly ranked Tomoko members, and they would turn on her and assassinate her.

    There would be no chance. As soon as the toasting began hell broke loose. Imo and three clan officials began coughing, and soon blood began to come out of their mouths. After several seconds of chaos they feel dead on the table, and some even on the plates. Sora rushed to Imo to check her pulse. Though she was really scanning her memories. Because of this, she was able to avoid the assassination attempt the next day. The next morning she was named the leader of the clan and was worshiped because of her connection to Kiki. She is now gaining trust with her village for kidnapping her, before she plans to wipe it off the map.
    Role-Play Sample:

    Spoiler:
    .


Last edited by ~Párváti~ on Sat 17 Apr 2010, 1:57 am; edited 24 times in total
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Stephanie
Stephanie

Posts : 87

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptySat 10 Apr 2010, 9:43 am

    Jutsu Template:
    Commonly Known Techniques:
    Spoiler:
    Lightning Ninjutsu
    Spoiler:
    Earth Jutsu-Hages Permission Recieved
    Spoiler:
    Fuuinjutsu
    Spoiler:

    Non Elemental
    Spoiler:

Summoning Contract
Spoiler:


Last edited by ~Párváti~ on Tue 20 Apr 2010, 2:32 am; edited 13 times in total
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Stephanie
Stephanie

Posts : 87

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptySun 11 Apr 2010, 3:12 am

Completion bump
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CYANIDE CANDY
CYANIDE CANDY

Posts : 1084

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptySun 11 Apr 2010, 6:10 am

An rp sample is needed.
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Stephanie
Stephanie

Posts : 87

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptySun 11 Apr 2010, 11:36 am

Done.
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Adam
The Boss
Adam

Age : 31
Posts : 8965

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptySun 11 Apr 2010, 1:17 pm

I would like you to provide me an explanation why you have Lighting Citizen in your Village Affiliation section to appear that you have an affiliation with Kumogakure of course which you would possibly think grants you some kind of special situation of jumping villages, your affiliation is Konohagakure, nobody else.
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Stephanie
Stephanie

Posts : 87

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptySun 11 Apr 2010, 10:42 pm

Yeah, I know. I changed my character's concept from a civilian to a fighta and I forgot to change it.
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

Age : 30
Posts : 1701

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyTue 13 Apr 2010, 3:00 am

A-aa-a-a-APPROVED
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Caranore
Caranore

Age : 35
Posts : 1492

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyTue 13 Apr 2010, 4:23 am

Unapproved. The clan has not yet been approved.
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Caranore
Caranore

Age : 35
Posts : 1492

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyTue 13 Apr 2010, 7:31 am

Your normal RP sample is 80 words short for the Jounin minimum. That minimum is 350 words, you are barely making Chuunin in that.

Edit your clan section to what was just approved.
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Stephanie
Stephanie

Posts : 87

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyTue 13 Apr 2010, 8:34 am

Word count's are dumb, and is inaccurate to determine one's role playing ability. If you are responding to someone who posts a pitiful 100 words it'll be damn hard to actually make a quality post. Anyways, I took out the short one. I'll use the bigger one. I also edited the clan.
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Uchiha Osore
Uchiha Osore

Posts : 1044

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyTue 13 Apr 2010, 1:50 pm

I'd like to point out that you have a few blank templates or blank spots on some jutsu on this application and that needs to be corrected.
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₡amisado
₡amisado

Age : 30
Posts : 1256

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyTue 13 Apr 2010, 2:09 pm

I would like to point out as I did in Pat's app, that Thermal Vision would require Eijutsu.
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Caranore
Caranore

Age : 35
Posts : 1492

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyTue 13 Apr 2010, 4:04 pm

Word counts are there. If you cannot respond to said person appropriately, and considering noone on this site is ALLOWED to make a 100 word post (Genin are 150, Chuunin are 25, Jounin are 350), then you PM a staff member and have us correct them. Also, if you cannot average 350 words a post, which is an excessively small amount, then you shouldnt be applying for this rank.

Quote :
Name: Lightning
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: [E,D,C,B,A,S]
Element: Lightning
Description: [A well detailed description of your jutsu. Remember to add in such fetures as it's range, chakra cost, drawbacks, etc to give an overall view of the technique.]

Quote :
Name: [Name of jutsu]
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: Genin – Chunin: C / Jounin: B / Jounin: A
Element: None
Description: This counterattack is used when the opponent is trying to stab the user with a sword. Since a sword is too big to use the counterattack number one, with this counter the user will avoid the danger of being stabbed with turning around for 360 degrees. While turning when in the half way till finishing the spin the user will grab the opponents arm only for a brief moment to push him forward and make him lose balance. After that the user will turn rapidly and hit the opponent with his elbow on the opponent’s neck. The opponent should get knocked on the floor but if the hit was made by a jounin the opponent will get knocked out. And if the jounin is a taijutsu expert the hit could possibly kill the opponent.

Those two need to be finished. or removed.

Quote :
Name: Supa Strength!?
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: C-S
Element: None
Description: This requires great chakra control. The user is able to concentrate and build chakra in different point in the body, then release it in an instant, causing massive force to back up their physical attacks.

This is part of Tsunade's Taijutsu. Remove.
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Stephanie
Stephanie

Posts : 87

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyWed 14 Apr 2010, 4:33 am

Oh, I'll be able to do the required word count.

I took out Taijutsu, and replaced it with Fuuinjutsu. I also added a summon contract. I guess those need to be checked.
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Stephanie
Stephanie

Posts : 87

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyThu 15 Apr 2010, 7:39 am

Bump
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₡amisado
₡amisado

Age : 30
Posts : 1256

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptySat 17 Apr 2010, 1:47 am

Battle Mask: Doesn't have a rank

Cape: Tone it down with the fire resistance, making it only able to be damaged by that high level of fire is OP to fire users. What do you mean by cloak?

Lightning Palm Shields: If the shield is hit/broken, it shouldn't retaliate at the attacker.

Electrical Potential: Once per topic*?

Hidden Lightning: Give it a range before it dissipates.

Flash Lightning: Will have to take up a shushin as well.

Stone Hardening: More detail

Reverse Summoning: If it isn't on the ban list I'm going to bring it up because I find it very OP.

Great Cascading Falls: Water isn't one of your elements, remove please.

Fire Sealing Technique: Put a limitation on it so it can't be used in battle and if it can, it needs a rank limitation on fire attacks it can seal.

Finger Engraving Seal: I wouldn't say this is a seal at all. You have a cannon reference in the jutsu.

Elemental Containment/Element Release: No sealing S-rank jutsu with this.

Invisible Cape: Duration
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Caranore
Caranore

Age : 35
Posts : 1492

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptySat 17 Apr 2010, 2:06 am

Quote :
Name: Fuuinjutsu; Seal of Transfer
Type: Fuuinjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: This seal is located on Sora's Left hand. In order to use this seal Sora must either be brought into close combat or draw her opponet into close combat. Once done so Sora will activate the seal and attempt to stamp her opponet open palmed. Minimal damage is done by the blow but enough to cause a bruise. The opponet will not be capable of seeing the seal on their clothing but only their skin. When ever the opponet attempts to use any sort of Elemental attack the seal will activate and prevent them from doing so. Instead the chakra used and jutsu will be transfered to the other seal on Sora's hand.

Any elemental attack, including up to S-Rank. able to transfer the entire jutsu, chakra and all to your hand, at D-Rank cost? Im sorry, no. Not happening. The magnitude you are talking about makes this just A-S Rank, atleast.

Quote :
Name: Fuuinjutsu; Seal of Release
Type: Fuuinjutsu
Rank: C-S
Element: None
Description: This seal is located on Sora's Right hand. In order to use this seal Sora must either be brought into close combat or draw her opponet into close combat. Once done so Sora will activate the seal and attempt to stamp her opponet open palmed. Minimal damage is done by the blow but enough to cause a bruise. The opponet will not be capable of seeing the seal on their clothing but only their skin. When an opponet use's some sort of elemental attack the seal previously stamped upon them will activate and prevent it by transfering the jutsu and chakra used to the seal on Sora's right hand. Almost instantly Sora will release the jutsu the opponet was preparing to use onto them. The opponet will more than likley be highly confused when the jutsu they attempted to use does not work and as result may get blind sided by the jutsu.

if anything, you would get hurt by this. "Almost instantly" entails that there is maybe a 1 second delay between the transfer and the reusage. This means that if your hand was by your side, or closed, or in any postion NOT directly at the opponent, the jutsu would misfire.

Quote :
Name: Great Cascading Falls
Type: FuuinJutsu
Rank: A-S
Element: None
Description: After opening a huge scroll, the user will activate it. A large column of water will shoot in the air for up to 15 minutes(1 post), or a half hour(Two posts). A minute later, the water will begin to fall as a heavy rain that can last up to 20 minutes(one post). This can be used as an attack also, as it can be aimed somewhere else and the coloumn of water will shoot at a target. The amount of water inside the scroll is compared to that of a very large lake. After being used, it will require that more water be sealed within which will take two posts.

Remove the minutes reference and just use posts. For your reference, 15 minutes actually is more like 3-5 posts, given the amount of thought in posts, maybe barely a minute will pass. Secondly, 2 posts to reseal that amount of water into the scroll, given the assumption that all the previous water ejected had been used, is too little a time. You would either need to find another lake, or completely drain a water user of chakra given that most dont know the Water Creation jutsu Kisame used. All in all, this is very poorly designed.

Quote :
Name: Seal Location
Type:Fuuinjutsu
Rank: A
Element: None
Description: The user is able to place a very small seal on an object or person, and will be aware of it's location until the seal is taken off.

I have a seal like this. Its C-Rank, and much better described. Put a range on it or more description. You will not be able to tell exactly where said seal is if its 10 miles away north east etc.

Quote :
Name: Chakra Donation
Type: Fuuinjutsu
Rank: B
Element: None
Description: The user can place a seal on two individuals, and then they will be able to give chakra to one another. One can not take chakra from the individual however. They can only donate. Once the seal is undone, any remaining chakra another person will return. This can be used multiple times.

Im not even allowing this unless there is a range, etc put on it. This allows for someone in the village, or two people, to transfer chakra to oneperson miles away who is in a battle. Not happening.

Quote :
Name: Chakra Seal Jutsu
Type: Fuuinjutsu
Rank: D-S
Element: None
Description: This seal sucks the chakra from the carrier of the seal until the point where the carrier will have just enough chakra to function. This is a continuous thing, so when chakra is produced, it will be placed in the seal. The rank depends on the strength of the Ninja, and it goes by rank.

S-Rank. Draining chakra until the user has barely enough to live, no time limit, etc. So, as this is S-Rank, remove it from your application. there are no S-Rank Shinobi yet.

Code:
[b]Name:[/b] [Name of your Summon? Provide an English name if you use a Japanese as well.]
[b]Rank:[/b] [What rank is your summon? E to S]
[b]Appearance:[/b]
[table border="1"][tr][td]INSERT PICTURE HERE[/tr][/td][/table][What does your summon look like? Provide a detailed Description and a picture. Use the space provided for your picture.]
[b]Contract Type:[/b] [How is it summoned? Human sacrifice, blood donation? the most used will be blood, by far]
[b]Species:[/b] [What Species of Animal is your summon?]
[b]Elemental Affinity:[/b] [Does your contract have an element?]
[b]Special Abilities/Characteristics:[/b] [Does your summon have any unique abilities or characteristics?]
[b]Background:[/b] [How you met your Summon? Where did you make the contract? This should be very detailed, two paragraphs or more.]
[b]Summons Jutsu:[/b] [What jutsu does your summon possess, if any?]

[quote][b]Name:[/b] [Name of jutsu]
[b]Type:[/b] [Ninjutsu, Weaponry, Puppetry, Genjutsu, Kenjutsu, Taijutsu]
[b]Rank:[/b] [E,D,C,B,A,S]
[b]Element:[/b] [Lightning, Wind, Earth, Water, Fire]
[b]Description:[/b] [A well detailed description of your jutsu. Remember to add in such fetures as it's range, chakra cost, drawbacks, etc to give an overall view of the technique.]
[b]Link:[/b] [When making new jutsus you must train them. Read the Training Page in rules. post the link here for admins to check]
[b]Medical use/Bastardized use:[/b] [Only add this if the technique is a Medical jutsu. Describe what qualifies this jutsu as medical. What is it's medical use or how was it bastardized from its original medical use, as in the case of poisons, etc.][/quote]

THAT Is the correct summons template. Edit accordingly, and ensure you have Kuchiyose no jutsu on your application. That can be found in the summons creation guide.
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Stephanie
Stephanie

Posts : 87

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyTue 20 Apr 2010, 2:34 am

I apologize, many of these things had mistakes I had not noticed so that is why there was a lot you had to look over. I THINK I fixed everything from both of these posts.
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

Age : 30
Posts : 1701

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyTue 20 Apr 2010, 4:25 am

Sora Tomoko-DONE- APPROVED
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Adam
The Boss
Adam

Age : 31
Posts : 8965

Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- EmptyTue 29 Jun 2010, 8:19 am

Archived due to User Inactivity.
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Sora Tomoko-DONE- Vide
PostSubject: Re: Sora Tomoko-DONE- Sora Tomoko-DONE- Empty

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