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Charlieee
Posts : 26
![Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Vide](https://2img.net/i/fa/vide.gif) |  Subject: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sun 11 Apr 2010, 8:34 pm | |
| Basic Information:
Name:
Kiyo, Hakamaru
Secondary Title:
-
Age:
12
Gender:
Male
Physical Appearance:
Hakamaru’s hair is wild and spiky, lop siding to the left. His hair colour is jet black. He has an oval shaped face with straight, strong jaw lines. Hakamaru has royal blue eyes, a lot like the night sky in the summer. One often gets the feeling they are being penetrated by his piercing stare. He has a small nose centred in between two soft cheeks, with a few freckles running along the bridge of his nose and circling his eyes. His ears are a little smaller than average and lean back a fraction. His fringe covers his left eye and stops just before his ear. His mouth simply fits the shape of his face and his teeth are of good condition. However, not many people know of his appearance below his eyes because he always wears a thin mask covering his face which goes down his neck.
His neck is short but by no means wide. The widths of his shoulders are small and thin, with his collar bone visible. His arms fit his body nicely. His body shape is rather straight and his legs are thin but muscular being a little longer than the rest of his body. Hakamaru has a massive scar from a slash motion on his back.
Hakamaru wears a thin hoody with the Konoha crest on his back. The hoody is black like his hair. The inside of the hoody is grey. It fits his body well. He wears baggy black trousers with pockets and his ninja pouch attached to the side of his right knee. Hakamaru wears his ninja headband around his left arm, also bearing the Konoha symbol. Rather than wearing ninja sandals, Hakamaru wears plain black trainers.
Personality:
Hakamaru doesn’t hold back when in a battle, yet he does care for his friends. Hakamaru is quiet and doesn’t talk much. This isn’t because he is shy, but he’d rather not talk. Hakamaru finds it quite difficult to make friends due to his inclination to stay quiet. Hakamaru is very mature for his age, often surprising people. This is because he has seen death with his own eyes before. Hakamaru doesn’t hide his emotions by pretending to be happy, but tends to hold back tears even if he is upset. Just because he is mature, Hakamaru isn’t immune to having a laugh like most children around his age. Hakamaru has a high pain threshold, which is one of the factors to his rareness of crying.
Hakamaru also has a short temper which also makes it harder to make friends. He gets this short temper from his father, as loving and caring as his father was; it didn't take much for him to get angry. The good advantage to his anger is that his true power comes out, although it can make him not think straight. Hakamaru is quite an evil person and will kill if necessary, but Hakamaru also has a soft side to him and will listen to others and their pain as he has been through a lot of it himself. Hakamaru is not a greedy person and uses his money wisely. He doesn't really splash out, as he is not the impulsive type.
Hakamaru likes: Training, learning new jutsu, ramen, fighting, relaxing and reading.
Hakamaru dislikes: Loud people, dango, eggs, family, greedy people and strong odours.
Catch Phrase:
-
Clan Information:
The Kiyo Clan.
Rank Information:
Rank:
Genin
Village Affiliation:
Konohagakure no Sato.
Special Information:
Character Speciality:
Ninjutsu and Taijutsu
Main: Ninjutsu
Sub: Taijutsu
Elemental Affinity:
What element(s) your character possesses, no more than two
Main: Fire
Sub: Lightning
Special Characteristics:
Due to his roots in the Kiyo clan, Hakamaru is an adept fisher and amazing at creative arts; such as: painting, drawing, pottery and even building. He can use these skills in order to help him survive. For example, he doesn't need a rod in order to catch fish, but can even catch them with his bare hands.
Skill Information:
Jutsu Template:
- Quote :
Academy Jutsu / Basic Ninja Skills:
- Spoiler:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu / Clone Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu / General Skill
Rank: E
Element: -
Description: This technique creates intangible copies of the user. The clones are simply illusions and will dissipate when they come into contact with something. The illusions can be seen through by the Byakugan and the Sharingan. A person with normal eyes can also distinguish the clones from the original, since the clones will not disrupt the area around themselves with their movement (won't kick up dust, crush grass, etc.). Naruto Uzumaki and Rock Lee are the only two ninja known to pass at the Academy without mastering this jutsu.
Name: Henge no Jutsu / Transformation Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu / General Skill
Rank: E
Element: -
Description: This jutsu allows the user to transform either themselves or another object into the appearance of another person, animal, or object. This is one of the basic jutsu taught at the Konohagakure Ninja Academy. Fundamentally, all ninja know this jutsu. The transformation technique is considered to be among the more difficult E-ranked techniques, since it requires constant emission of chakra while mentally maintaining the form. On top of that, the user would be, most likely, interacting with the environment. This puts much mental strain on the inexperienced ninja.
Tsunade of the Sannin possesses a more advanced version of the Transformation Technique, where she disguises her 50-year-old self as younger versions of herself. Her technique is unique as it seems to be permanent, nor does she need to exert herself to maintain it for a long time, whereas a normal transformation would be dispelled when the user is injured. This implies that the form is a physical transformation and that it only breaks when Tsunade is low on chakra. Kagerō has also shown such a transformation, warping her appearance into a grotesque, hunchback man.
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu / Body Replacement Technique
Type: Ninjutsu / General Skill
Rank: E
Element: -
Description: This jutsu lets the user quickly switch places with another nearby object, such as a plant (normally a section of a log), an animal, or even another person within reach using the Body Flicker Technique, the moment an attack hits. This creates an optical illusion, making the enemy think the attack was successful. The user can then use this confusion to escape or launch a counter-attack. Exploding tags can be attached to the replacement for an added surprise. Basically all ninja know this technique.
The anime has a number of other objects being used for this jutsu, such as a boulder, mud, a scarecrow, and even a large rolled-up carpet. These items are usually nowhere in sight, suggesting that they are merely gags meant to lighten up the situation and not an actual part of the jutsu. Additionally, the normal practice of switching places with a section of log is done in several places that have no such thing anywhere nearby.
Name: Kakuremino no Jutsu / Cloak of Inivisibility
Type: Ninjutsu / General Skill
Rank: E
Element: -
Description: This jutsu allows a ninja to take a cloak or a piece of cloth and blend into an object, making them invisible. Konohamaru uses this technique constantly in the beginning of the series to try and fool Naruto Uzumaki, but uses poor disguises (square rocks with eyeholes, cloaks that are incorrectly patterned or rotated the wrong way around, or simply not covering himself completely), thus betraying the illusion.
Naruto would later use this technique to try and hide from Ebisu.
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu / Rope Escape Jutsu
Type: General Skill
Rank: E
Element: -
Description: A basic jutsu taught at the Konoha Ninja Academy, this jutsu allows a ninja to free themselves if they have been tied up. How this is done is unknown.
Name: Shunshin no Jutsu / Body Flicker Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu / General Skill
Rank: E
Element: -
Description: This jutsu is a high-speed movement technique, allowing a ninja to move short to long distances at an almost untraceable speed. To an observer, it appears as if the user has teleported. A puff of smoke is occasionally used to disguise the user's movements. It is accomplished by using chakra to temporarily vitalise the body and move at extreme speeds. The amount of chakra required depends on the overall distance and elevation between the user and their intended destination. Shisui Uchiha was feared as "Shisui of the Body Flicker" (瞬身のシスイ, Shunshin no Shisui), likely referring to this technique.
The Body Flicker Technique has various variations among the different hidden villages, all of which involve some extra element aside from the movement itself. The extra element is usually some sort of substance used to distract the opponent, such as leaves or sand. Gaara, for instance, uses the Sand Body Flicker (砂瞬身, Suna-Shunshin), which uses sand to cover his movements. Other varieties include the Mist Body Flicker (霧瞬身, Kiri-Shunshin), Water Body Flicker (水瞬身, Mizu-Shunshin), and Leaf Body Flicker (木ノ葉瞬身, Konoha-Shunshin). A has also combined the Body Flicker Technique with his Lightning Release Armor to dodge even the Amaterasu in a split second.
Name: Genjutsu Kai
Type: General Skill
Rank: D
Element: -
Description: The user stops the flow of chakra in their body, and then applies an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the genjutsu caster's chakra. It can be used to break genjutsu of an equal or below rank. Other methods to escape genjutsu are also available, such as inflicting pain upon oneself to break free.
Name: Utsusemi no Jutsu
Type: General Skill
Rank: D
Element: -
Description: In order to hide their location and not disclose their position, the user projects their voice by resonating everything they say from all possible directions with this jutsu. The user can make it sound as if they are moving around whilst talking, or even make it sound like more than one person is talking.
Name: Jibaku Fuda: Kassei
Type: General Skill
Rank: C
Element: -
Description: Utilizing chakra, a ninja is able to activate the explosion mechanism of a distant or nearby bomb tag. This can also be used to deactivate any explosive tags in the vicinity of the user, which were set to explode by means other than through the use of this jutsu.
Name: Kawara Shuriken
Type: General Skill
Rank: C
Element: -
Description: This technique requires chakra to pressurize nearby tiles in an area. The tiles are then levitated and hurled over towards the opponent, spinning at fast speeds similar to shuriken. This technique is especially useful when fighting in urban terrains, such as on rooftops.
Name: Chakuranōdo [Chakra Concentration]
Type: General Skill
Rank: C
Element: -
Description: This skill can only really be mastered after the user has mastered Ki Nobori no Shugyō [Tree Climbing Practice] and Suimen Hokō no Gyō [Water Surface Walking Practice]. The user successfully concentrates chakra to one part of their body, be it for increased strength or control.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza - Act of Water Surface Walking
Rank: E
Type: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: A variation on the Kinobori no Waza (Act of Tree Climbing), the art of water surface walking allows a ninja to walk on water as if it was a solid surface. Focusing an even amount of chakra out of the soles of their feet, they can balance themselves on the very surface of the water
Name: Kinobori no Waza - Act of Tree Climbing
Rank: E
Type: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: Kinobori no Waza, the art of tree climbing serves a dual purpose. Taking part in Kinobori Shugyou (Tree Climbing Training) helps a ninja learn how to focus their chakra. It also teaches the ninja how to run up trees and walk on vertical walls. The training helps the ninja learn how to focus just the right amount of chakra to a particular part of their body. The amount needed to climb is small but it must be precise. The feet are regarded as the hardest location to master chakra focusing. So by gaining the art of this skill, the ninja will have any jutsu available (theoretically) because they will be able to focus their chakra as needed
Name: Explosion Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: The user will activate an explosion tag. Normally, the tag will be placed by them, so they know where it is and can easily activate it.
Ninjutsu:
- Spoiler:
Fire Jutsu:
Name: Great Fireball Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Fire
Description: After performing the necessary hand seals, a ninja inhales air via their mouth and, gather up chakra in their chest, then spews a large fireball from their mouth after blowing through a ring made by the thumb and index finger of the user, incinerating everything in range. Sasuke is seen doing this technique without making a ring over his mouth. The fireball may ignite externally (as evidenced by Kakashi Hatake's ability to use the jutsu without burning his mask, but may also be seen as pulling it down to blow out the fireball).
According to Kakashi Hatake (in the anime Part II), the Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique was originally created by the Uchiha clan, becoming one of their favorite moves with which they became very adept with. The Uchiha clan also uses the Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique as a "coming of age" technique. This technique apparently requires more than average chakra reserves and most Genin should not be able to do this technique.
Name: Fire Release: Flame Bullet
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Fire
Description: The Fire Release: Flame Bullet technique is executed by the user gathering oil in their mouth which is created by chakra, spits it out, and ignites it. This technique simply shoots a flame bullet at the enemy. If the amount of oil that is prepared is kept down, the time it takes to invoke the technique is reduced. This allows the enemy to be stricken unaware, allowing the oil-containing flame bullet to burn them up completely. It is also possible to shoot out a series of of flame bullets by partitioning the oil. If this technique is fired after covering the enemy with oil using the Toad Oil Bullet, it has plenty of power to wound or kill. As this also keeps down the consumption of chakra.
Name: Fire Release: Phoenix Immortal Fire Technique
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Fire
Description: This jutsu sends multiple balls of fire at a target. It is also possible to hide shuriken within the fireballs, creating an unexpected secondary surprise attack. For the most part, however, this jutsu is used as a distraction.
Name: Endan - Fireball
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Fire
Description: Katon • Endan is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire
Element. This jutsu allows Jiraiya to emit a jet of fire from his mouth.
While not stated, this is probably the same or a similar jutsu to the one
Jiraiya uses in conjunction with Gamebunta to do Gamayu Endan.
Lightning Jutsu
Name: Touza no Jutsu
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Raiton
Description: A close range jutsu on which the user makes an electric current pass throw the enemy, by touching the opponent with both hands. This jutsu can leave an enemy paralyzed for one post.
Name: Kyuu no Jutsu
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Raiton
Description: A jutsu on which the user creates a chakra made sphere of lightning energy in his hands, and throws it to the opponent, giving him a strong electric jolt. This lightning ball will be heavy and thrown in a lateral direction.
Name: Lightning Beam
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Lightning
Description: Hakamaru charges up chakra in his arm until it is fully concentrated in his hand. He then released the lightning chakra in a beam, towards the opponent. If this attack hits, it will start to affect the opponent's nerval system and maybe cause paralysis.
Taijutsu:
- Spoiler:
Name: Konoha Reppū / Leaf Whirlwind
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: D
Element: -
Description: The user performs a low, circular kick to sweep the opponent of the floor
Name: Konoha Dai Senpuu - Leaf Great Whirlwind
Type: Taijustu
Rank: C
Element: -
Description: Konoha Dai Senpuu is a Taijutsu technique utilized by the Leaf ninja Rock Lee. Like the normal Senpuu, Lee uses his quickness and agility to deliver a series powerful spinning kicks to his opponent.
Name: Konoha Kage Buyou - Leaf Shadow Dance
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: C
Element: -
Description: Konoha Kage Buyou is a Taijutsu technique that is used to position a ninja's opponent into a vulnerable aerial position. The ninja will first quickly appear below their opponent, then with a switch upper kick they will launch their target into the air. The ninja will then jump into the air to "shadow" the target with the target's back to their chest. Rock Lee uses the Konoha Kage Bayou to place his opponent into a position to do his Omote Renge technique. Uchiha Sasuke would go on to copy this move to set up his opponent for his Shishi Rendan technique.
Name: Konoha Senpuu - Leaf Whirlwind
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: D
Element: -
Description: Konoha Senpuu is a Taijutsu technique utilized by the Leaf ninja Rock Lee. Using his quickness and agility, Lee charges at his target and spins his body to do a flying round house kick on those opponents within his range of attack.
Name: Konoha Shoufuu - Leaf Rising Wind
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: C
Element: -
Description: Konoha Shoufuu is a Taijutsu technique utilized by the Leaf ninja Rock Lee. Using his quickness and agility, Lee with do a swift upwards kick at his opponent or at a weapon his opponent is wielding.
Name: Shishi Rendan - Lion Combo
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: C
Element: -
Description: ShiShi Rendan is a Taijutsu technique developed by Uchiha Sasuke after he used his Sharingan to copy the movements of fellow Leaf ninja Rock Lee. Sasuke first uses the Konoha Kage Buyou to manuever his opponent in a vulnerable aerial position. While shadowing his opponent, Sasuke will attempt to strike them from a vulnerable angle. If he is unable to make a clean strike, he will strike anyway as a feint, to draw his target's attention and defense to one area. He can then strike the undefended area and begin knocking them downwards towards the ground. As the enemy falls back to the earth, Sasuke will deftly rotate his body around to deliver a full force kick to their chest.
Weapon Template:
Name: Kunai
Quantity: 7x per battle.
Rank: E
Appearance: Kunai (クナイ) are a type of shuriken and one of the more basic weapons seen in Naruto. It is a black dagger designed to be thrown, and is about the length of one's hand. Many ninja attack by attaching an exploding tag to the blade. The kunai is usually thrown so that it lodges in an object near the target, and then the explosion from the attached tag destroys said target. Kunai can also be kept on spring-loaded wires in the user's sleeve. They can also be used for close combat, like a normal knife. Empowered with "chakra flow", kunai thrown into targets can cut through solid wood and even solid stone targets.
Name: Shuriken
Quantity: 7x per battle.
Rank: E
Appearance: A shuriken (手裏剣), like kunai, is one of the more basic weapons seen in Naruto. They are sharpened, four-pronged metal stars, useful for throwing. Although small, they can be used to distract, or, if accurate enough, can be deadly. They have an open circle in the center, used for grabbing with a finger, to avoid cutting oneself, or to put thread through. The circle is also a benefit in aerodynamics, as it ensures more accurate trajectories.
Name: Exploding Tag
Quantity: 5x per battle.
Rank: D
Appearance: Exploding tags are scraps of paper inscribed with a special writing, centring around the kanji for "explode" (爆, baku). Infused with chakra, they will explode after a set amount of time, remotely, or after being ignited by flame. The tags can be attached to a surface or wrapped around a weapon to be thrown at an enemy. They are very versatile and one of the basic ninja tools. Ninja can confuse their enemies by obtaining fake Exploding Tags.
Name: Flash Bombs
Quantity: 5x per battle.
Rank: C
Appearance: A usual flash bomb used by most ninja. Flash bombs are small round spheres that are attached to a kunai knife, similarly to an exploding tag. Once thrown, flash bombs explode on impact, creating blinding flashes, used as a diversion.
Background Information
History:
Birth Arc: Hakamaru was born into the Kiyo clan in the middle of the winter. His family name meant pure, and all of his ancestors had been fishermen and the women had worked in culinary arts for centuries. Hakamaru was born at 6 pounds. Unusually, Hakamaru was born with a scar on his back. Doctors had no idea why or how this was there. He grew at quite a slowe rate and was quite a below average sized baby. He was fed like any normal baby, he just didn't seem to grow. This may have to do with his body finding it hard to absorb nutrients. His parents were at a loss, and medics couldn’t explain it either. He was kept in a healthy environment and his parents monitered what he ate. It didn’t seem to be affecting his health, so Hakimaru parents disregarded it, though they still kept a close eye on Hakamaru, as they cared for him so deeply.
Toddler Arc: When Hakamaru was a toddler his father died from a heart attack. The heart attack was induced by smoking tobacco, which Hakamaru's father did a lot of. Hakamaru cried for days and days from the loss of his father. From that day on, Hakamaru very rarely talked, and began to dislike talking altogether. Sometimes Hakamaru got scared when he saw how stressed his mother was, and overheard her ranting about suicide. Also, his mother started to push him out of the way and ignore him, upsetting Hakamaru.
Child Arc: From the start of Hakamaru's childhood, he had to work to earn money, or else his mother would not buy or even do anything for for him. One day Hakamaru was walking through the village of Konoha and saw a ninja shop. He went in and he had all the savings that he had earned. He decided to buy all the basic ninja equipment for himself, kunai, shuriken, smoke & flash bombs. He even bought a few exploding tags. He went home that night and was so excited to show his mother. Upon seeing what Hakamaru had bought, his mother snatched the gear off of him, and threw it in the bin. She said that he wouldn't be a ninja, but a fishermen like his father, whether he liked it or not. Hakamaru got fed up, went upstairs and packed all his things, took his ninja gear from the bin and said to his mother he was sick of her and she never cared about her since the day his father died. His mother coldly scorned him and turned away. Hakamaru wandered through the village that night, and saw Akimaru and his family, celebrating him being accepted into the ninja academy. That made Hakamaru train hard for a year, living in a village orphanage, to eventually enroll in the academy himself.
Academy Student Arc: By the time Hakamaru was accepted into the Ninja Academy in Konoha, Akamaru had already graduated. Hakamaru didn't mind about this because he knew Akimaru was still around the village, and he could approach him at any point to help him with his training. Hakamaru felt proud that Akimaru had become a ninja rather than a fisherman, and decided to follow in his footsteps. During the time that he was in the academy, Hakamaru only made one friend. Hakamaru soon found that that friend abandoned him because he never wanted to talk, but his mind only wanted him to train. Hakamaru got into many fights into the school, but still managed to concentrate on his work. He enjoyed school, but not his fellow ninja around him. Hakamaru wasn't really bullied, he just got into fights a lot with arrogant people. He didn't pass his tests straight away, and one student teased him and then Hakamaru created a clone and was about to attack his fellow pupil when his overlooking teacher saw he was competent enough to use the clone jutsu, and passed him, much to the joy of Hakamaru, and the annoyance of the teasing kid.
Genin Arc: Hakamaru was so pleased to tell his mother he had passed his test and he had graduated and become a Genin. He normally didn't talk to her, but he felt she deserved to know at least this, and all his hate towards her seemed to disappear and be replaced with excitement. When he returned to the Kiyo headquarters and into his house, he found his mother lying dead on the floor in a pool of ruby red blood, a look of pure terror on her face. Looking around the house, Hakamaru saw his mother's secret vault had been broken in to and everything had gone. Hakamaru had known his father had been in debt, but not that much debt. He collapsed on his knees crying, his mother's blood staining his clothes. He tried to not care, he tried to hold back the tears, but they rolled over and he couldn't stop them. From that day on, Hakamaru swore to kill the person who did this. That, became his nindo, his ninja way.
Role-Play Sample:
Hakamaru stood there with a knife in hand with the blood pumping through his veins knowing that he had finally met the person who had slaughtered his mother! Hakamaru roared "I WILL KILL YOU!" Hakamaru was about to blast a lightning beam at him and started to charge up the chakra in his left arm and then realised that he had no idea how strong or weak his opponent was. Was he that strong that would not stand a chance? Hakamaru dashed in to the trees and then sat on a branch waiting for an advantage.
Hakamaru could smell his own fear but funnily enough thought he could smell his opponents. Hakamaru could see nothing just mist and thought maybe he could see a small black figure. "Ha-ha so do you like my mist technique you must be better than your mother all it took with her was one little finger."Hakamaru new that he could not reply or it would give away his position. When he got angry instead of hitting things he would take a walk. So Hakamaru ran round the trees trying to cool off but as he ran he hit a trap then several kunai came down at him. Hakamaru took a couple of scratches but no vital damage was done. He landed back on the tree as soon as he landed another kunai came straight for him! The kunai hit him straight in the back which sent him flying on to the battle field.
"AHHHHHHH!" screamed Hakamaru"At the start you looked pretty good I’ll give you that but I’m board now I’m going to finish this any last words?""Ye I WILL WIN!" Hakamaru pulled the kunai out off his back with great pain then he shot into the trees stopped on a branch and did the hand seals for bushin no jutsu he created 3 copies of himself which took up a little more than a of his quarter chakra. They all jumped out of the trees one in front one behind and two to on either side."WHAT!"They all formed the hand seals for great fireball jutsu and the blasted the him with it. They all landed back on the tree. His two copies disappeared leaving Hakamaru with not a half of his chakra left. Hakamaru new if this hadn’t killed him he would practically have no chance!
Last edited by charlieee354 on Fri 23 Apr 2010, 6:37 pm; edited 44 times in total |
|   | | Uchiha Osore
Posts : 1044
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sun 11 Apr 2010, 8:37 pm | |
| | Uchiha is closed, please be aware of this before continuing. |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sun 11 Apr 2010, 8:57 pm | |
| | Okay. When I registered it said 3 out of 4 spots had been taken. I guess I'll edit the clan part. |
| | | | Uchiha Osore
Posts : 1044
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:25 pm | |
| | Detail your special characteristics. Why do you have more chakra, for example. |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:33 pm | |
| | ok thanx for youre advice |
| | | | Caranore
Age : 35
Posts : 1492
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Fri 16 Apr 2010, 1:03 am | |
| Personality needs another paragraph.
How much more chakra, how much faster? Elaborate on these characteristics.
Painful Sky Leg is part of Tsunade's Taijutsu style, and plus you need medic nin chakra control to utilize it. Remove.
Cherry Blossom Impact - Remove. You are not a medic, nor have excessively good chakra control, this technique would burst apart your arm and muscles.
All of your General jutsu that were not provided have been taken from Aaron's jutsu application. Either get his permission to utilize them, or remove them. |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Fri 16 Apr 2010, 1:25 am | |
| hi guys some people have been saying i have taken jutsu of barons application well i thought you should know hes my friend and i live in the same village as him and he helped me so thats why i have the thanx.  |
| | | | Caranore
Age : 35
Posts : 1492
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Fri 16 Apr 2010, 1:49 am | |
| - Quote :
- How much more chakra, how much faster? Elaborate on these characteristics.
Under your special characteristics, these need to be elaborated on. |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Fri 16 Apr 2010, 1:50 am | |
| | oh ok thanx |
| | | | Caranore
Age : 35
Posts : 1492
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Fri 16 Apr 2010, 1:59 am | |
| | For your speed, how much faster are you than another person f your rank. 10% faster, 20%, 5%? |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Fri 16 Apr 2010, 2:38 am | |
| | why have you stopped replying |
| | | | CYANIDE CANDY
Posts : 1084
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sat 17 Apr 2010, 3:48 am | |
| - charlieee354 wrote:
Name: Electric Discharge
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Lightning
Description: This Jutsu utilizes the lightning element. The user will charge an amount of electricity into his hands which Tahji normally uses on his Electric Trap Jutsu. He would also charge it into a kunai or shuriken to make it cut through things easier. The electricity would last about 30 seconds. It would burn any dry paper.
This jutsu does not belong to you and unless you have had permission from Tahji to use it, you will need to remove it.
--
Also, please provide an English translation for all the jutsus that only have the Japanese name. You should view the Character Creation Guide and look towards the very bottom were some very basic ninjutsu is shown. |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sat 17 Apr 2010, 2:28 pm | |
| | I can't find the english translation for the lightning jutsu. I used Google Translate, Narutopedia and Leaf Ninja, but to no avail. |
| | | | Travis
Posts : 414
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sat 17 Apr 2010, 6:05 pm | |
| - Quote :
- Name: Koe no Mozouhin
Type: General Skill
Rank: D
Element: -
Description: The user alters their larynx and vocal tract to change the way their voice sounds. This can be used to make the user sound like an animal, an adult, of the opposite sex, etc. This ability requires neither chakra nor hand seals. -More like sound Jutsu to me, which is a KKG ability.
- Quote :
- Name: Utsusemi no Jutsu
Type: General Skill
Rank: D
Element: -
Description: In order to hide their location and not disclose their position, the user projects their voice by resonating everything they say from all possible directions with this jutsu. The user can make it sound as if they are moving around whilst talking, or even make it sound like more than one person is talking. -There is already a jutsu like this. It belongs to Y.
- Quote :
- Name: Kawara Shuriken
Type: General Skill
Rank: C
Element: -
Description: This technique requires chakra to pressurize nearby tiles in an area. The tiles are then levitated and hurled over towards the opponent, spinning at fast speeds similar to shuriken. This technique is especially useful when fighting in urban terrains, such as on rooftops. -Seems more B rank to levitate a roof tile.
- Quote :
- Name: Lightning Beam
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Lightning
Description: Hakamaru charges up chakra in his arm until it is fully concentrated in his hand. He then released the lightning chakra in a beam, towards the opponent. If this attack hits, it will start to affect the opponent's nerval system and maybe cause paralysis. -This jutsu looks very familiar. Did you create it? |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sun 18 Apr 2010, 1:32 am | |
| | Yes I created it |
| | | | Aaron
Age : 28
Posts : 2538
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sun 18 Apr 2010, 1:43 pm | |
| - Travis wrote:
-
- Quote :
- Name: Koe no Mozouhin
Type: General Skill
Rank: D
Element: -
Description: The user alters their larynx and vocal tract to change the way their voice sounds. This can be used to make the user sound like an animal, an adult, of the opposite sex, etc. This ability requires neither chakra nor hand seals. -More like sound Jutsu to me, which is a KKG ability.
- Quote :
- Name: Utsusemi no Jutsu
Type: General Skill
Rank: D
Element: -
Description: In order to hide their location and not disclose their position, the user projects their voice by resonating everything they say from all possible directions with this jutsu. The user can make it sound as if they are moving around whilst talking, or even make it sound like more than one person is talking. -There is already a jutsu like this. It belongs to Y.
- Quote :
- Name: Kawara Shuriken
Type: General Skill
Rank: C
Element: -
Description: This technique requires chakra to pressurize nearby tiles in an area. The tiles are then levitated and hurled over towards the opponent, spinning at fast speeds similar to shuriken. This technique is especially useful when fighting in urban terrains, such as on rooftops. -Seems more B rank to levitate a roof tile.
- Quote :
- Name: Lightning Beam
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Lightning
Description: Hakamaru charges up chakra in his arm until it is fully concentrated in his hand. He then released the lightning chakra in a beam, towards the opponent. If this attack hits, it will start to affect the opponent's nerval system and maybe cause paralysis. -This jutsu looks very familiar. Did you create it?
Actually Travis, I am charlie's irl friend and I was there when he created the bottom two jutsu and Y didn't create Utsusemi no Jutsu and Kawara Shuriken has already been approved in my application, both of those jutsu are fine. I think the only one charlie needs to remove is Koe no Mozuhin as Z had a problem with that jutsu as well. |
| | | | Travis
Posts : 414
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sun 18 Apr 2010, 9:22 pm | |
| | Y created a similar jutsu to Utsusemi. And Aaron, next time PM me. |
| | | | CYANIDE CANDY
Posts : 1084
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Mon 19 Apr 2010, 10:18 pm | |
| - Quote :
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza - Act of Water Surface Walking
Rank: E
Type: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: A variation on the Kinobori no Waza (Act of Tree Climbing), the art of water surface walking allows a ninja to walk on water as if it was a solid surface. Focusing an even amount of chakra out of the soles of their feet, they can balance themselves on the very surface of the water
Name: Kinobori no Waza - Act of Tree Climbing
Rank: E
Type: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: Kinobori no Waza, the art of tree climbing serves a dual purpose. Taking part in Kinobori Shugyou (Tree Climbing Training) helps a ninja learn how to focus their chakra. It also teaches the ninja how to run up trees and walk on vertical walls. The training helps the ninja learn how to focus just the right amount of chakra to a particular part of their body. The amount needed to climb is small but it must be precise. The feet are regarded as the hardest location to master chakra focusing. So by gaining the art of this skill, the ninja will have any jutsu available (theoretically) because they will be able to focus their chakra as needed
Name: Explosion Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: The user will activate an explosion tag. Normally, the tag will be placed by them, so they know where it is and can easily activate it.
You're missing these jutsu that are pretty basic. |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Mon 19 Apr 2010, 10:24 pm | |
| - Çγαηide Çαηdγ ♥ wrote:
-
- Quote :
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza - Act of Water Surface Walking
Rank: E
Type: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: A variation on the Kinobori no Waza (Act of Tree Climbing), the art of water surface walking allows a ninja to walk on water as if it was a solid surface. Focusing an even amount of chakra out of the soles of their feet, they can balance themselves on the very surface of the water
Name: Kinobori no Waza - Act of Tree Climbing
Rank: E
Type: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: Kinobori no Waza, the art of tree climbing serves a dual purpose. Taking part in Kinobori Shugyou (Tree Climbing Training) helps a ninja learn how to focus their chakra. It also teaches the ninja how to run up trees and walk on vertical walls. The training helps the ninja learn how to focus just the right amount of chakra to a particular part of their body. The amount needed to climb is small but it must be precise. The feet are regarded as the hardest location to master chakra focusing. So by gaining the art of this skill, the ninja will have any jutsu available (theoretically) because they will be able to focus their chakra as needed
Name: Explosion Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: The user will activate an explosion tag. Normally, the tag will be placed by them, so they know where it is and can easily activate it.
You're missing these jutsu that are pretty basic.
Added those 3 jutsu. |
| | | | Aaron
Age : 28
Posts : 2538
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Thu 22 Apr 2010, 7:18 pm | |
| | Bump. |
| | | | Pattycakes
Age : 30
Posts : 1701
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Thu 22 Apr 2010, 7:37 pm | |
| Second Personality Paragraph needs to be beefed up.
Also, Aaron, no bumping other's apps
Your arcs need to be 2 paragraphs in length. I would suggest combining birth and toddler to start off.
your special characteristics need a more detailed explanation |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Thu 22 Apr 2010, 7:51 pm | |
| Sorry Pat, I didn't mean to. Charlie's around my house and we forgot to log out and back in as him when we bumped.  |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Fri 23 Apr 2010, 6:38 pm | |
| | Okay, I have beefed up personality and special characteristics. |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sat 24 Apr 2010, 12:07 pm | |
| | bump |
| | | | Charlieee
Posts : 26
| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] Sun 25 Apr 2010, 8:57 pm | |
| | bump |
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| | Subject: Re: Kiyo, Hakamaru. [Done] | |
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