Kouzetsu, Saigo [Kiri Jounin]

Posts : 509

Basic Character Information

Full Name: Kouzetsu, Saigo [Last Words]
Secondary Title: 'Kirigakures Fading Echo'
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Clan: Kouzetsu
Kouzetsu, Saigo [Kiri Jounin] 07b641b45f8171fb

Kouzetsu, Saigo [Kiri Jounin] 07b641b45f8171fb

Birthday: Aug 9th
Bloodtype: AB+-
Height: 6’3’’, Weight: 211 lbs.

Appearence

Saigo has medium spiked black hair, and eyes that look malevolent towards most. A cigarette usually hangs out from his mouth with a small cloud a smoke coming from it after a battle. His attire is a black kimono with a black sash and pants. He wears a two Katana upon his back and a Wakashi at his side, along with his headband. Black wooden sandels cover his feet accompanied by black fingerless spiked leather gloves to protect his hands. He has a bag on the back of his sash filled with typical ninja projectiles. Saigo's skin is very pale compared to that of most the shinobi native to his home nation, it often makes people question his origin. The complete black ninja suit itself is tight fitting but still allows the wearer to be exteremly versitile, best used for missions at night. Saigo has a scar on his left cheek which could have been healed but he chose not to. It stays as a reminder of his past events and also looks cool for the ladies. The only time Saigo's attire changes is the addition of a Jounin lightweight jacket when leading a group of Genin or for official events in the village.

Personality

Saigo seems to be a cold emotionless person to most people, but this is a result of the experiences life has handed him. His mysterious appearance cloaks his true nature from all but trusted individuals. To everyone else he provides a facade, a playful but mischievous approach in combat often catch's his opponents off guard. His psychotic nature is only truly shown in times of desperation, despite this Saigo is a cunning and manipulative person. He also suppresses his feelings for fear of creating more emotional attachments, past experiences have taught him to trust no one. It's because of this that he's paranoid, combined with his dreams of grandeur and meglamania, Saigo can very often become extremely insecure. The fine line between friend and foe is always blurry in this shinobi's eyes. Although on occasion his fragments of conscience cause him to act irrationally and without reason, Saigo never lets it cloud his judgement during battle. He's both ruthless and efficient when dispatching his targets however this makes it hard for him to connect with others who share different views to his own. Although he does respect strength, power and the drive to follow orders no matter what the outcome. It's because of this that Saigo is a perfect candidate for assassination missions but he's not all doom and gloom. To the average eye he just seems like your everyday shinobi but this is just so people can be caught off guard, once they realise it's too late.

Kouzetsu Clan Information

Spoiler:

Skill and Rank Information

Village of Origin: ~~Otogakure~~ [Hidden Sound Village]
Residing Village: Kirigakure [Hidden Mist Village]
Village Affiliation(s): Otogakure, Kirigakure
Rank: Jounin

Special Characteristics

Chakra Fetish

Spoiler:

Element(1): Fuuton [Wind]

Element(2): Ration [Lightning]

Specialization

1.) Bujutsu [Kouzetsu Weaponry]
2.) Ninjutsu

Nitōjutsu Style [Duel Wielding Technique]

Spoiler:

History

Saigo was born in a mansion like house in the lush tropical forests of the rice country, an oasis like enviroment. Unlike most in the ninja world who had to struggle to get by, he was never faced with such problems. Growing up was easy, things were very easy going and gradually Saigo grew to love relaxing by the pool side in the courtyard everyday. He spent many a day there or in his farthers training room, just messing around with the equipment, leaving junk/litter scattered around everywhere. This lasted until he was around 9 years of age, at which time his father got sick and tired of his behaviour and decided he needed to learn some responsibility. Making him attend a small academy deep inside the forest. At first he was annoyed with his farther for making him go to a place where such poor people lived. As a matter of fact he never really got over the fact that he had to travel to the village by himself, finding it to be a rather crude place to live. After much debate between him and his parents Saigo was forced out of his home, into the life of a young ninja. When Saigo finally arrived at the academy within Otogakure he sat at the back of his classes, frequently falling asleep since he found almost all of the subjects boring or useless. All except for the topic(s) of Tai and Kenjutsu, for some reason the shear plesure of cutting through someones flesh excited Saigo, in a sick & twisted way. Mostly because he could 'express' himself especialy his hatred for being cast out his home. For the next few years all Saigo focused on was mastering his Kenjutsu, when tested on anything else he would simply ignore the questions or tasks required. This resulted in one or two Chuunin examiners being injured when confronting him about it, needless to say Saigo was punished.

Eventually after he was held back a year for failing most of the subjects, Saigo was told by both his sensai and parents to at least get passing grades in the other styles. This made him even more annoyed with them, and almost drop out of the academy all together. In his final year at the academy Saigo had actually managed to score high grades in everything besides Tai and Kenjutsu, in which he scored over, and well above one hundred percent. After graduation Saigo thought of returning back to his home, since his father’s requests had now been met. However when he was about to leave the village a messenger sent by the village's 'kage' arrived, and told him that he was to stay and continue his training as a ninja under the kage personaly. When Saigo read this he was shocked, after pulling himself together he made his way deep into the heart of the village. Normaly students wern't allowed to see or speak with the Kage, Saigo felt a sense of satisfaction. Finally he would start to actually take care of himself instead of relying on the riches he had, though he never told anyone this. Little did he know his life would never be the same again...

He knocked sharply on the door marked 'Kage' and heard a voice from inside say " Enter". He placed both hands on the heavy door and pushed his weight against it, it slowly swung open. The room was dark with only various candles alight scattered around the large empty room. Saigo's attention was suddenly drawn to the figure sat behind the desk in the center of the room, they said nothing but Saigo could just about make out someone was there. It was too dark to see any facial features but as they spoke, Saigo could tell the person was male. The words echo'd around the room repeatedly, a sharp pain to the back of Saigo's head made the echo's fade out as did his vision... " You have been chosen..."
When he awoke, his vision blurry, he found himself in some sort of operating theater, surrounded by people wearing strange clothing although the Oto emblam could still be made out. Suddenly another sharp pain, this time in Saigo's left eye once again rendered him unconcious. While he slept his body was pulled apart and then put back together 'better' then before, Otogakure's finest medninja worked for months turning Saigo into something new, somthing dark. Meanwhile other candidates were selected for other various experiments, their screams of pain made Saigo's eye lids flicker in his sleep. Time flew by, Saigo's reconstruction had been completed and now it was time to see the result. Saigo was transfered back to his original room with no recolection of what had happend, still calmly asleep, they left him to wake.

A storm was raging outside, the bright light lit up the Saigo's room. The sounds of thunder in the distance became louder as the storm drew near, it was at this time that Saigo became aware he was awake, he merely had his eyes closed. As he opened them a dull pain began to shoot around his left eye socket, placing his open palm over it to block out the light the pain faded. To his suprise his vision changed, Saigo paniced pulling his hand away, his perception had been improved. The feeling of pain totaly faded away, as he scanned the dark room, he could see it clearly. Saigo got up out of bed and stumbled across the room to his desk, lashing out he swung his arm knocking everything off onto the floor. His whole body was burning up, as the tears rolled down his face he looked down at the floor. To his horror he glared into a peice of broken glass, his left eye was different, totaly black. Thick vains pulsated along the side of his left temple. Saigo tried to peice together what had happend before he blacked out but the visions were shattered by the pain behind his eye, for now he thought it best to go back to sleep, maybe he'd make more sense of things in the morning. This all came to a halt however when he found he was getting an increasingly bad headache that would not cease no matter what he did. The pain surged through his body until a breaking point occurred that seemed to be more focused inward than outward. When this happened Saigo fell to the ground unconscious in this world, instead entered what seemed be another dimension. It was here that he understood the power of his eye, all of humanities dreams, and hopes, to save them all the Uchiha and their impure eye's must be destroyed.

The next morning when he awoke and stirred slightly, in a bit of a daze, attempted to gather himself from the events of the previous night. Of course when he first woke up he thought that it was just all a bad dream, that is until he opend his left eye lid and a set of new, and unique memories appeared within his mind. He realized that he was in fact not himself anymore, still being the skeptical person that he is needed physical proof. This however was just the beginning of his changes, as over the course of the next few weeks, and months his life would take dramatic turns for both the better, and worse, as he became entangled in a fated encounter with a member of the clan named Uchiha.

Another of Otogakures experiments, with his last dieing breath explained what had happend to them both. For fear of death Saigo escaped Otogakure and fled to the village of Kirigakure, where he found out the ninja’s purpose, or atleast what they considered it to be, thinking they were a bunch of losers Saigo left a few months later, considered to be above that of C rank he was titled 'Missing'. This however proved to be a dumb move on his part, as when he arrived, he came under attack from a Oto ninja, after taking some serious injuries Saigo managed to once again escape.

After exploring around, and failing to join a village, Saigo moved from location to location meeting random people. It was then that he came across a challenge that damaged not only his body but his ego aswel, the strange figure simply left Saigo lying on the ground. When Saigo called out for a name, the mysterious figure simply replied " Akat ".

After wandering for a while, and attempting to return to his roots, It was there after an emo moment he met up with a Hyuuga, whom after quite the angry reaction with him, asked him a series of questions to which he answered correctly. The Hyuuga new of what happend to Saigo's home and family, not long after he escaped they were murdered and the house burned to the ground by ninja from Otogakure. The Hyuuga was infact an old friend of saigo's farther, giving Saigo proof by showing him of a picture of them together.

Life under the watchful eye of Ryoko Hyuuga was tough at first, he demanded disipline, somthing Saigo didnt have. Things were finaly starting to settle down for Saigo, until once again the sound ninja caught up with him. In an attempt to defend Saigo, Ryoko was defeated and beaten to death infront of Saigo's very eyes. Too many to fight Saigo fled for his life, for days they chased this time. Only haulting when during a small skirmish Saigo was thrown down a waterfall, he survived. Saigo knew this would never end until he became strong enough to put an end to it himself and so it was at this point that he decided to seek out the one who had bested him so badly all those years ago. He set out to explore every inch of the ninja world, trading verious bingo information with villages as he did so.

It would not be until he was returning to his half home that he would meet the man known as 'The Leader', or be exact Ero Uchiha. After helping him restore order in the streets of Amekgakure, via kicking ass. Ero invited Saigo to follow him back to his hideout Ero explained that he was the leader of an organisation known as Akatsuki and judging from what he saw of Saigo's jutsu knowledge and sword skill asked if he'd join. Saigo joined without hesitation and soon became known throughout the organisation as someone who could get the job done, no matter what the cost. Infact it got to a point where nobody wanted to be his partner because they kept getting killed everytime Saigo came back from a mission. Meanwhile Otogakure had withdrawn it's recon ninja from tracking Saigo they didn't want to cause trouble between their village and Akatsuki.

After a night spent outside Konohagakure Saigo and Ero get ready to attack the Hokage, as per Akatsuki's plans, since after all bored ninja attack a kage for fun right? it took them a mere few hours to arrive. Within the next few minutes they found themselves within the kage’s office. After an exchange of pleasantries, Ero attacked the Kage, it was now the Saigo decided to initiate is fiendish plan. Leaping outside of the Kages door back into the hallway Saigo turned throwing a hand full of grenades. As he started running the explosion burst threw the door, filling the corridor with smoke. After Saigo slashed the incoming Anbu ninja into tiny slice's of their former selves he continued to the bottom of the hallway where he lept from the window. Betrayel felt good to Saigo, his only option was to flee to another nation. Kirigakure seemed the logical choice.

Rp Sample:

Spoiler:

Posts : 509

Academy [Secrecy and Skill Techniques]

Spoiler:

Bujutsu [Kouzetsu Weaponry Techniques]

Spoiler:

Ninjutsu

Spoiler:

Equipment

Spoiler:

Age : 31 Posts : 8965

My turn, because you asked me too, I'll make a list below of what I have spotted below, some of it will be the same as Aaron's because you asked me for a second opinion.

Please note that you did provide us with a large amount of information we need and more, the bonus information doesn't appear to be too much actually required, like bloodtype. Although you can have your little spin on our template, you need to copy it thoroughly as more of the fields are compulsory.
Please add more detail to both your Appearance and your Personality fields.
You need to fill out the clan template completely, not just have a Kekkei Genkai field.
As for the Kekkei Genkai directly, it's a complete waste of a golden opportunity, having that ability is a Special Characteristic and it would be better fitted into that section. Having an advanced skill and manipulating it into a Kekkei Genkai doesn't work in most cases.
Chakra fetish, how large is the area. Can you sense chakra if somebody cloaks their chakra source completely? Please add this information.
Specialities. You need to provide direct specialities, so Weaponry and Taijutsu would be your fields, then you have to pick to sub-categories for Weaponry, so Kenjutsu and whatever else you please, for information click the link Aaron provided. You have made styles specialities, please not we have a styles template HERE
Please provide a detailed roleplaying sample on your average abilities. How you post on a day to day basis. We do not ask of you to create one on the spot, merely copy one from a previous application or a recent topic you have posted in and paste it.
Your Taijutsu are all about your Iron Fist Style, this should fit into the Style Template I provided above. You might be best adding some canon Taijutsu so your character doesn't have next to no jutsu, even if you want to train most of it in character it's best to start with something then nothing.
You have Weaponry techniques in your Kenjutsu Spoiler, as Aaron stated Kenjutsu is the art of swords and blades. I believe it would be in your best interest to separate all the weaponry techniques into a different spoiler. I think you could sneak your Fuuinjutsu into the Weaponry Spoiler and just make the type name Fuuinjutsu/Weaponry.
All your equipment doesn't need to be in a template, you can just have it listed as it's all basic ninja equipment. However I'd appreciate it if you used our Weapons Template and elaborated on your Katana.

That's all, once this is all fixed you'll be Approved.

Posts : 509

Ok, i think i've taken care of all that. Any good?

Posts : 730

Quote :

Quote :: Chakra Fetish
Spoiler:
Having a chakra fetish simply means that you can sense chakra if its near. Once you learn how to control your Chakra Fetish, you will be able to sense a chakra presence no matter how low within a five mile radius. Keep in mind that this will not provide you with any details regarding an attack or the individual. At best, you would be able to roughly determine something exists in one direction and an extremely rough range about where it is. This technique cannot work on individuals that are cloaking their location, however the Chakra Fetish will then irritate the user keeping them on edge.

I would tone the range on this down some. five miles seems a little excessive, as it's far beyond the range of any other human sense. This also seems to give you x-ray vision, which would make it impossible for anyone to hide from you, ever, anywhere. I'd advise removing the x-ray vision part of it too.

Quote :: Kunai Tekidan Hitoame [Kunai Grenade Shower]
Rank: B
Type: Bujutsu
Element: N/A
Description: The user stock piles kunai grenades within a small scroll, pre-arming them for detonation upon use. During combat the user will open the scroll from an elevated position or simply throw/spin the scroll (generally above the target area or combatant) thus releasing it's seal. Kunai grenades will then begin to pour out creating a 'rain/shower' effect. NOTE: should one detonate before hitting the ground a chain reaction would occur. The force of the initial explosion will launch the kunai into various directions within the targeted area, similar to a nail bomb. While no precise aim is taken the chance of avoiding all/any damage within the 'blast radius' is next to none. This jutsu may only be used once per combat thread and is best suited for large spaces or when facing multiple enemys.

Please add an actual range for this in meters

Hitode Soujuu:- Shikyo [Crowd Control via Assasination]
Rank: B
Type: Kenjutsu
Element: Fuuton
Description: The user performs a high arch rising crescent strike where the tip of the blade starts on the ground and then rises up rapidly. While rising from the ground the blade releases almost invisible Fuuton Chakra (The user must have Fuuton element). This causes a screeching sound from the air being shredded as it cuts towards the target. This will cause a thin gash to appear in the ground, giving away the direction in which the force travels. Because this attack is based around speed it travels extremely fast, although this does not make it impossible for experienced shinobi to dodge. If someone is unlucky enough to be hit by this attack a thin but deep gash will appear where the strike landed. The range of this attack is aproximatley eight meters in the initial direction. (NOTE: This jutsu does not have the force/power to decapitate limbs however should the same target area be hit more then once, decapitation becomes possible. It can easily remove fingers and toes, the perfect jutsu for cutting your lawn.)

Please add a little more visibility to the effect. Fast moving invisible wind blades are a little OP. Even a slight shimmering air is enough.

Quote :: Hitode Soujuu:- Kouchisho [Crowd Control via Prison]
Rank: B
Type: Bujutsu
Element: N/A
Description: The user stock piles mass (giant steal) chains within a large scroll. During combat the user hold the large scroll out directly infont of them, at chest level. They will then proceed to open the scroll horizontally thus releasing a barrage/wave of chains. Should the chains make contact with with anything they immediatly constrict. The size of the scroll makes it impossible to perform this jutsu using 'x2' scrolls. (NOTE: Should your target be constricted this does not mean they cannot break free provided they are strong/smart enough. If the user decides to retract the chains at anytime this takes a minimum of one post, the distance travled dictates the time required to retract.)

About how many chains does this release? How much area does it cover, and how long are the chains?

Quote :: Hitode Soujuu:- Funkei [Crowd Control via Decapitation]
Rank: B
Type: Kenjutsu
Element: Fuuton
Description: Utilizing the Fuuton element the user is able to force themself foward at an alarming rate, by drawing on the air around them to a center then seperating it almost instantly. The air pushed either side during an attack motion creates a vaccuum effect. The user will have enough time to perform a single strike or action before returning to their original position however during this time they cannot dodge nor change direction. By combining this technique with a single handed wepon Saigo can easily decapitate multiple unsuspecting targets before the majority realise whats happend. (NOTE: This jutsu does not increase the users attack speed only the speed in which they move forward and is extremely draining on the users physical fatigue.)

How fast is this technique? Is it faster than Body Flicker, and what is the range it can be used at? How exhausting is this? Can you use it more than once before being exhausted?

Quote :: Hitode Soujuu:- Zansatsu [Crowd Control via Slaughter]
Rank: B
Type: Nitojutsu
Element: None
Description: Utilizing two katana or wakashi the user rush's forth into a crowd or directly infront of a single target, taking them by suprise. Once within striking distance the user explodes into a violent barraige of frenzied slices. Creating 'X' shape cross attacks within short distances of each other all over the targetted area. The user will repeat with extreme speed and finesse while continously changing direction. In effect decapitating all unsuspecting victims in a 360 radius all round the user, although no particular part of the body is targetted. While this attack is completely reliant on speed and stamina it leaves the user open to attacks from behind.

I'm not really sure what to say about this one? It lets you decaptiate everyone around really fast? What's the range of this attack? How many times can you attack in one post while using this?

Quote :: Name: Katana
Quantity: 8
Battle Quantity: 2
Rank: B

Special Abilities/Characteristics: Excellent condition, Titanium.
Origin: Stolen from Konohagakures armory when the Kouzetsu clan were driven out of the village during the great shinobi war, stocked in large numbers at Otogakure.

As these are written they are not B ranked Katanas, nor can they channel chakra through them. If you add that they can channel chakra, which you need to do to be able to use some of your weapon techniques, then they'll be fine. So, add that, and these will be fine.

Age : 31 Posts : 8965

Your roleplay sample still wasn't large enough, so I thought I'd assist you by adding one of your old ones up from 1.0. Please get your clan approved in the Clan Section before continuing on with your character.

Posts : 509

I've placed my Clan in the creation thread, i'll just go ahead and continue editting my jutsu but i'll make sure the Clan has been approved before i ask for my app to be looked over again.

Quote :: I would tone the range on this down some. five miles seems a little excessive, as it's far beyond the range of any other human sense. This also seems to give you x-ray vision, which would make it impossible for anyone to hide from you, ever, anywhere. I'd advise removing the x-ray vision part of it too.

1.) It's not a human sense, it's a ninja sense. I don't see chakra with my eyes, my character simply feels that there's chakra. He is then drawn to the source should he allow himself to be. I could only track someone down if they had huge chakra or were in a large area on their own, as i can't pin point individuals only the general direction of their chakra. Should they be in a village or an area where there were a large amount of people i wouldnt be able to know one chakra from the other, unless of course they had a unique colour.

Quote :: Please add a little more visibility to the effect. Fast moving invisible wind blades are a little OP. Even a slight shimmering air is enough.

2.)That's exactly what i thought which is why i added that which ever direction they travel in, a thin gash/slice appears in the ground. Should someone be smart enough to discover this with their character they'd always be able to anticipate and dodge the attack. Of course, Uchiha & Hyuuga would be able to see it anyway.

Posts : 509

Okay, i've now editted the majority of that. I'd like a second opinion on the two things i've quoted you someone dosent mind :3

Posts : 730

Quote :: 2.)That's exactly what i thought which is why i added that which ever direction they travel in, a thin gash/slice appears in the ground. Should someone be smart enough to discover this with their character they'd always be able to anticipate and dodge the attack. Of course, Uchiha & Hyuuga would be able to see it anyway.

Granted. I suppose if even something small is there, people will use it to dodge.

I'll wait for a second opinion on the first matter though. It's kinda iffy and I'm just a trial mod. ^-^

Age : 31 Posts : 8965

I'd suggest toning it down a little bit Brad. Also, can you please read through my list and change everything I asked you too, I noticed you didn't change your Specialities like I asked you too and added styles for what you have in the Specialities Field.

Posts : 509

Sorry about that, an honest mistake :3
I've toned the radius down of my CF and now only have one specialty with a unique style explanation (done using US template).

Has anyone seen my giraffe?
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2560/3779406357_d8972cc07c.jpg
xD ..Just kidding! so, how's it looking now?

Posts : 730

Quote :: Raiton Futan [Lightning Charge]
Rank: C
Type: Bujutsu
Element: Raiton
Description: Using his affinity to Raiton, Saigo is able to super charge a wide range of objects. This technique is mostly used when throwing projectile wepon(s). Once the user has learnt to manipulate chakra into the form of Raiton it is then transfered into the object. This process can be done quickly after years of practice, provided only a small amount of chakra is transfered. NOTE: After the chakra is transfered the object is best used as a projectile, loss of focus could result in the user being electricuted. The projectile's range & travel speed are increased due to the thin layer of Raiton chakra now coating it's surface, connection with another surface or target releases the energy. This causes a 'discharge' effect stunning/shocking the target momenterily. Through practice the user is able to repeat this process on multiple objects simotaniously.

I'd make this a B rank technique, because genin can't focus chakra into things. You could note, however, that it only requires a C rank of chakra.

Quote :: Hitode Soujuu:- Shikyo [Crowd Control via Assasination]
Rank: B
Type: Kenjutsu
Element: Fuuton
Description: The user performs a high arch rising crescent strike where the tip of the blade starts on the ground and then rises up rapidly. While rising from the ground the blade releases almost invisible Fuuton Chakra (The user must have Fuuton element). This causes a screeching sound from the air being shredded as it cuts towards the target. This will cause a thin gash to appear in the ground, giving away the direction in which the force travels. Because this attack is based around speed it travels extremely fast, although this does not make it impossible for experienced shinobi to dodge. If someone is unlucky enough to be hit by this attack a thin but deep gash will appear where the strike landed. The range of this attack is aproximatley eight meters in the initial direction. (NOTE: This jutsu does not have the force/power to decapitate limbs however should the same target area be hit more then once, decapitation becomes possible. It can easily remove fingers and toes, the perfect jutsu for cutting your lawn.)

Same for the previous technique, I would add a chakra cost to this. Perhaps half the rank used for the technique, which would be a C rank. This gives you an incredible boost of speed, so should require chakra of some amount.

Quote :: Hitode Soujuu:- Funkei [Crowd Control via Decapitation]
Rank: B
Type: Kenjutsu
Element: Fuuton
Description: Utilizing the Fuuton element the user is able to force themself foward at an alarming rate similar to 'Body Flicker' only faster, by drawing on the air around them to a center then seperating it almost instantly. The air pushed either side during an attack motion creates a vaccuum effect, pushing the user forward up to a maximum of 30.48m. The user will have enough time to perform a single strike or action before returning to their original position however during this time they cannot dodge nor change direction. By combining this technique with a single handed wepon Saigo can easily decapitate multiple unsuspecting targets before the majority realise whats happend. (NOTE: This jutsu does not increase the users attack speed only the speed in which they move forward and is extremely draining on the users physical fatigue. Using it once in a post would leave the user short of breath, twice would result in having to rest through half of a post. Finally, if used to the maximum of three times in a post the user requires a one post cool down.)

Like above, this technique needs a chakra cost. Same as above, half the rank is what I recommend.

Other than the few chakra costs, I think you're about ready. With those changes made, the next post should be approval.

Posts : 509

Right, all chakra costs added and i've noted that table turner dosent require any chakra ^^ hopefully that should be all cool now :]

Posts : 730

Looks good. ^-^ Approved.