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| [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] | |
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Iruel
Age : 27 Posts : 106
| Subject: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Wed 17 Oct 2012, 9:18 am | |
| Śākyamuni, BaamTHE INFO. Name: Baam Śākyamuni Nickname: Light Bearer Age: 16 Gender: Male Appearance: • Apparel Preferring to cultivate the appearance of an ordinary schoolchild, Baam wears such a uniform, with a plain white top that was taken from one of the more mundane education institutions, a blue tank top is worn beneath that along with a pale blue tie, visibly worn for an excessive amount of time. Using some of that much recommended denim fabric, Baam adorns a set of jeans- accompanied with the belt to finish off the classical look. He finishes off the set with a pair of white shoes with yellow and black highlights, while wearing a pair of navy socks that match his undershirt. Baam an typically be found with a blue bandanna, used to keep his sometimes excessively long hair out of his eyes.
• Body Appearance Where to start off in a rather uninteresting landscape of biomass? The top can always be classified as a wonderful place to start, and so many awkward conversations happen with that particular phrasing to break the ice. The parents have discoverer their offspring has come out to them about getting 'some' while under the influence and there are now repercussions for their under-age transgressions. Yes, this conversation happened with Baam's parents. However they weren't under age, they simple had a rather large amount of disdain for limiting the number of partners they might choose from. Baam's catalyst planned, but not seen through properly. And despite what one might think with the title of 'bastard-child' hanging over him, he looks remarkably normal. There is no sign that a union of pleasure outside of marriage vows have scarred him in any way aesthetically obvious.
Getting back on subject, starting from the top as it were: Baam has inherited a combination of his originators hair, something he isn't actually aware of. He wears it in his Father's style, but has his Mother's pigmentation. His skin tone is similarly a gestalt between both parents- his Father had a heavily tanned look about him, while his Mother was far paler. Neither of them were exemplary specimens of their genders and neither is Baam. Still, he has a certain charm about him, maybe it is because he looks unthreatening and a female enjoys that in a male. Baam has a few expressions he fits naturally into, the first of which is looking rather bored and staring out some transparent portal to a plane in which more interesting things are happening. Another is looking serious, or at least moderately contemplative. The amount of brain power Baam can bring to bear on a single subject when it draws his attention can be rather startling. And his expression changes to reflect that.
The other is going completely berserker fury, which he claims is a therapeutic experience, and likens it to letting his hair down. His mouth twists into a nasty scowl, he screams blue bloody murder generally looks like he's having a fit. Surprisingly enough his face fits well into such a emotional outing. The other is yet another one hundred and eighty degree turn around, and that is simply smiling and looking content, peaceful and appeased at the way the world is running. His eyes shine and glitter, and sparkle in the way that those perverted old Grandfather's do when they've spotted something amusing. On them it looks rather disgusting or repulsive, on Baam it is slightly endearing. Slightly.
The same as many in his profession, Baam's body is defined, not overtly in the traditional muscle bound sense, instead he has his own form of being 'lined' which could be compared to wrapping bands of steel wire around his bones, then layering fat on top. Obvious the steel part is a bit overrated- maybe copper would be a better example. Regardless the metaphor works, and through the slight layer of padding he has available, the corded bands of muscle can be seen. Now, this is nothing compared to some of the others who train their bodies far more seriously, but it does score some bonus points when he has to go around with a little more skin showing then he would usually care to do.
His body is well proportioned, with his arms being slightly longer then normal, reaching mid-thigh unlike others. This may be in part to counteract his rather small shoulder width. As one of the more natural laws does state that typically, the breadth of fingertip on one arm, to the finger tip on the other usually matches up with the height of the person. His eyes are a cobalt blue, which occasionally shifts to a slate grey colouring in the appropriate lighting.
• Blemishes & Scars: Being an amalgamation of hardcore warrior(s), a raging green skinned bad-ass and a chick who'll gut you in the same time it takes to get down on one knee: Baam has little to no blemishes on his body, beyond the odd scar for a stupid accident on his knee. An affair that will hopefully never reach the light of day. It is rather stupid for a Shinobi to deal and injure to himself- with a butter knife no less. The tale is a less then stellar expodition of attempting to carve himself a side of cheese.
• Height & Weight: Respectively, Baam sits at a average height for his age, if a little below the usual mean statistic. At roughly 5'8" he is by no means 'tiny' but isn't likely to grow into an imposing person either. In terms of weight, one could say he is 'stick thin' and be partially correct, while having no dietary issues beyond the usual pet peeves that one may have about various brands of food, he eats well enough. Clocking up a rather unimpressive 53 kilograms, Baam is far from being in the heavyweight division.
Forehead Protector: Embossed on the bandanna. Personality: Ah, the mind. The psyche. It is said that there is nothing more complex that the human brain, capable of self-reflection, prediction, alteration of behaviours, memory, creative thought, emotions, social interaction. The ability to layer knowledge on top of itself. Update said knowledge. Empathise, and many, many more. What is even more amazing is that some are born greater then others, no one is equal in every respect. Some are born fleeter of foot, stronger of arm, faster of hand, persuasive of mouth. While not everyone may receive a gift, there are those that do, based around the genetics of their parents. Then, there are those freaks of nature, whereby some strange roll of the die, they are gifted with one of these gifts despite the lack of any genetic material that should confer this trait. Some strictly say that the figures of legend aren't made, they are born. For others- it is the drive to succeed that will carry them on. And it is those people who are most likely to succeed in life, because they have been trying since day one. And when they stumble and fall, they get back up again.
For those who were given such a talent, and who have never had to work for their vaunted prowess; stumbling is the bane of their existence. In comparison it is the guide for those who work for their greatness. Which sort of person is Baam? Unfortunately he is a a lazy-bum of the highest order. This trait of his can be put down to several things. For one, his imagination turns whatever concepts that children his age envision into monsters that seemingly defy the logical comprehension of the mind. As a result of this, he is also a pussy of the highest order, exceedingly cautions, never charging into situations, preferably running from them at top speed. It was said that he purposefully turned himself around in birth because he was too scared to go head first. So one might be questioning how such a person even scratched up enough courage or willpower to become a Shinobi in the first place.
Enter stage North, South, East and West. Well, those are the cardinal directions that they inhabit.While Baam is not Nara, a sect of those who are gifted with such exceptional mental capabilities that they can turn the tide of war with their stratagems. He has somehow managed to pick up on his supervisor's laziness. Naturally Baam couldn't even be bothered to defeat his pseudo-paranoia (read 'extreme laziness') to get out of bed, so he does require some assistance. There are four entities within his mind, taken from one of the most widespread table top games in existence. The Primarch stands at the North position, marking him as being fearless, powerful, noble and loyal to a fault.
Incidentally there were 20 Primarches, this one is the amalgamation of those whom Baam could sympathise with the most before they turned to Chaos or died. It is from this envisioned piece of being that allows Baam to give his faith in those around him, to trust in something. Defeat the paranoia that gnaws at his reactions and decisions. It is he who encourages Baam onwards, to bear his eyes to the pain of the world and mark ever onwards. The final lesson the Primach has to impart is to fear nothing, and to take every stride with a purpose in mind.
Sitting opposite is the Chaos Prince, a former Primarch who felt the call of the Dark Side and went Anakin Skywalker. He is fury, anger, hatred, lust and pride all rolled into one and given a dose to steroids on top of it. Incidentally it is the Chaos Prince that manages the power inherent in Baam's mind, and typically dictates whether or not they should be fought. Fortunately, the Chaos Prince is something of a warmonger, so there will be next to nothing he won't agree to fight. The Prince preaches the art of immoral acts, and advises on all things that require his gruesome expertise. He is also more often then not in disagreement with the Primarch in moral matters, the two frequently displaying both sides of the argument. They are far more united in the arts of combat however, each being brutally bloodthirsty in their own way. The Prince takes on the worship of four Chaos Gods, each one covering a certain aspect that he is devoted to.
Khrone, of bloodlust, war, death, blood, and skulls. Perhaps the closest that the Prince is to, but he remains equally devoted to the other three. Tzeentch: change, fate, mutation, knowledge. Nurgle: plague, despair, disease, life, Nurgle is the oldest of the four Gods, disease and decay having existed since the beginning of life. Slaanesh: lust, pleasure, excess. This is perhaps the second deity the Prince has a close relationship with, and is usually worked in tandem with the Eldar Farseer.
Which brings us to the next inhabitant, the Eldar Farseer is a being of wisdom incarnate, straddling the east cardinal direction. Perhaps it is slightly indicative of her role in the 'right hand advisor' as it is her wisdom that is usually channelled when the situation requires. Like the others, the Farseer teaches several other lessons, the ability to Empathise with those around him, to self reflect on his derisions and those of others. She is also to be noted for the gift of hindsight, and the knowledge that history repeats itself. It is also from her lips that whisper the gift of prediction, to know and identify patterns in the world visible to them.
Interestingly enough, as the other creatures littered through his mindscape are all heterosexual, then one might question if this part of his mind fancies the male gender. The answer is that the Farseer is a lesbian, much to the annoyance of the other members in this strange twisted realm.
The final occupant is the Ork Warboss. While he seemingly resembles the Chaos Prince to a great degree, there is a question of sentience between them. The Warboss perhaps represents the baser instincts, rather then the desire to pause pain for pleasure. Here lies the pure animal portion of the brain, that does not reflect on anything before reacting, constantly flitting from thought to thought. The huge green skinned machine of destruction does not typically speak proper English with the appropriate Grammar, often utilising a bastardised form of communication. Strangely enough it is from this piece of the puzzle that generates the feeling of obligation. Duty in other words. Combining this creature with the Primarch's sub-division of loyalty is one of the other factors in his mental processing.
So of course, one might again question how Baam maintains this façade, four voices in his head, sometimes giving him contradictory information. The truth is that Baam operates as a middle man between the four, smoothing their relationship as they are each allied with him and acknowledge that their continued survival is better served in working together rather then apart. The Warboss and Farseer and by far the most cordial of the foursome, the former being the survival expert that it is, and the later seeing the wisdom in such a decision. The Primarch and the Chaos Prince have no such rapport, and frequently battle each other, warring their old grievances against each other. The knowledge behind each persona is real, and is the manifested readings of Baam in each specific subject. While they do not have the personal memories, they do have history and a frame of reference to base their actions on.
• Alignment: - Quote :
- Neutral alignment, also referred to as True Neutral or Neutral Neutral, is called the "Undecided" or "Nature's" alignment. This alignment represents Neutral on both axes, and tends not to feel strongly towards any alignment. A farmer whose primary overriding concern is to feed his family is of this alignment. Most animals, lacking the capacity for moral judgment, are of this alignment since they are guided by instinct rather than conscious decision. Many roguish characters who play all sides to suit themselves are also of this alignment (such as a weapon merchant with no qualms selling his wares to both sides of a war for a profit).
Some Neutral characters, rather than feeling undecided, are committed to a balance between the alignments. They may see good, evil, law and chaos as simply prejudices and dangerous extremes. Baam takes this particular alignment because of the imagined persona's running rampant in his head, each of which represents one of the extremes that his natural personality errs against.
• Allegiance: To those who owe him allegiance, and of course- himself. He does feel some loyalty to the Village, he is brutally honest about not being able to assist everyone, so he typically refrains himself from attempting such ventures.
• Quirks & Tendencies: ~Enjoys giving presents. ~Destroying the concept of 'herbal brews' by adding the liquid dairy product 'milk' to them. ~Being a generally nice guy. ~When nervous he has a habit of tapping his foot three times on the ground.
• Likes & Dislikes: + Everything sweet. + Ketchup. + Magic Tricks + Having time alone. + Sporks. + Chicks. ___________________________
- Spicy food. - Mayonnaise. - Fortune Tellers. - Rope. - Fire. - Being preached to. - His reflection. - His heritage. - Himself.
Clan: - Nindō: Rules are for those only fit to be ruled.
THE NINJA. Origin: Kaminari no Kuni - The Lightning Country Affiliation: Kumogakure no Sato Rank: Genin Specialties: PuppetryPriGenjutsuSub Elemental Affinities: SuitonPri RaitonSub Combat Style: Combat. What a distasteful word. In the eyes of Baam, combat is something to be approached with a large amount of caution, his passions in life having not lent themselves into the role of a vanguard, but more the assassin and saboteur, utilising a combination of Genjutsu and Puppetry to work his way through the opponents defences, attacking on both fronts, often simultaneously mounting an offensive on both the psyche of an opponent and their vessel. This fashion of combat is heavily geared towards ambushes, attempting to end the fight before it has begun, utilising Genjutsu to either hide his equipment, or position them so that they are vulnerable to traps. If this initial phase fails, then Baam's options quickly become limited. He can either flee, having unsuccessfully deal with the issue, or attempt to take advantage of their weariness, using Genjutsu to push open holes in defences and turn attacks back on their fellows. Frequently there is a war of attrition theme to fights, but Baam incorporates several other aspects. Namely, that of taboo tradeoffs, bluffs and poker faces. Using Genjutsu is by no means a walk in the park, but defending against it is hardly any easier. Once one has been properly ensnared by the tendrils of perception twisting chakra, then the Puppets close in, forcing them to either devote chakra to removing any resident illusions, but increasing the possibility of being dealt damage by the Puppets. On the other hand, they can evade the puppets, but leave the Genjutsu intact.
There is a heavy element of psychological analysis in any battle, and with a Genjutsu User continually probing for potential weaknesses, any decision needs to be thought out in advance. Someone who values their body of the integrity of their mind, is likely to be dealt more Genjutsu of the physical kind, extreme pain, limb removal all that kind of jazz. Someone who values the integrity of their mindset would be dealt the cards of humiliation, emotional torment, and so on. While there is a definite structure to his plans, the details of them remain flexible. Special Characteristics: Yin Release
- Spoiler:
Name: Yin Release. Rank: D-S. Type: Chakra Based. Physical Requirements: Must have Genjutsu specialty. Training Requirements: 700. Description: Genjutsu is a notably skillful specialization that requires great intelligence and chakra control in order to perform. Those who have attained this special characteristic have met those criteria which has allowed them to take their illusions to the next plane. Genjutsu fittingly falls under the broad category of Yin Release and it has been revealed that those with superior talent in Genjutsu likewise have greater mastery in Yin Release. This type of mastery allows them to more accurately manipulate the victim's chakra flow to their brain and stimulate more powerful illusions, making you're illusions more realistic and bypassing a persons perception. Because of your more powerful illusions, it now takes double the chakra cost to perform a Kai Release than it normally would for targets.
THE BACKGROUND. History:
- Arc One:
Life was peaceful for Baam as a new member to a relatively small society that included a range of people. Being a seafaring town, it attracted a bunch of odd people. Ranging from the typical sailors, to the odd person who wanted to lie low for a while. Sometimes someone would come for them. Sometimes not. Sometimes it would be the person they wanted to come for them. And again, sometimes- it wasn't. It was these events that drew the eye of Baam. The kicking, the screaming, begging and pleading. But it seemingly went unheard by the enforcers of the law. Whose stoic expressions indicated that they felt nothing of kindness or reservation for their squirming task. Baam learnt first hand that Shinobi are cold, cruel, killing machines, taught from an early age that crying is a sign of weakness. And maybe he sought to imitate them. It was but a stage in his life, but it was one he explored nonetheless, and one could tell a myriad of tales as to how he demonstrated his attempted fortitude to pain and suffering. While it was noted upon by his parents, telling him to be more of a kid, lay his hair down and in general worry some over his continually distant expression. But it passed in time. He was a child after all. And still people came and left, some by happy, gay consent. Others by iron bound force. All witnessed by formerly innocent orbs. But it was a fad that would soon be washed away by sheer necessity. Because in a world of Ninja, there must be Pirates.
- Arc Two:
Pirates came. One of the more atypical hazards of being near the sea is the sea life. And pirates are a intricate part of that. In terms of skill, they could be considered the Samurai's bad cousin, while they use swords, there is a conspicuous absence of the usual rules that surrounded the procedures of the Samurai's way of life. There was no mannered, constructed order when the Pirates bore down on the town, firing flaming items rained down on the town.
Users of Ninjutsu where few and far between, but were treasured within the groups for this select ability. And used to great effect, naturally harnessing the powers of wind and water to great effect. And they brutally slaughtered the down, for no real rhyme or reason. Equally so, they took prisoners, with no exact discrimination, sometimes it was women, but mostly boys, such as Baam.
To keep the culture alive, you needed a continual influx of new blood. And some boys would be particularly welcome. Women as well, young girls, but they were a rarity, and typically they had a girl at each Port. It was a culture, and pilaging one small town was hardly going to attract all that much attention. But it did. A inquest was made, the resident overseer took some offence, and the next time the pirates pulled into port, it was to the tune of clinking Kunai. During the ensuring battle of Pirates and Shinobi, Baam was regrettably part of the Pirate offensive. And when they were soundly defeated, he was one of the few survivors. Having no real crimes to his head, there was not a true reason to convict. If you looked at the years, the initial crime itself that they were accused for was a little young for the child to take part in. So his presence was swept under the rug and hidden away. Taken too the nearest Hidden Village, Baam became a ward of the state, recently graduating from the academy and all that jazz.
Of course, times have changed over time, and he was one of the few who could not simply be placed within a team and set off the fuel the economy and raise the general happiness level of the population by performing menial tasks. However, his circumstances were more then just a little...suspicious.
To any such administration, such a person posed a small issue. He came from a potentially volatile background, there was next to nothing known about the Pirate Culture, and his loyalty to the state was simply untested. And so began the series of trials and tribulations that spawned the next portion of his recorded life: He was placed under the wing of one of the resident upper echelon Shinobi, a Chunin who went by the name of Yotsuba, Nara. A slight explanation as to the progression of laziness within the mind of Baam.
- Arc Three:
The initial meeting was fought with sheer boredom. Being tardy is hardly an admirable trait, and Baam had been at the designated meeting place for well over an hour before his assigned mentor worked up the mental fortitude to get up, get out of bed and investigate the days surprises. A present giving ceremony that apparently took so much time to even touch the wrapping, that a goldfish could get bored watching him, or something to that effect was said. Laziness doesn't translate to humbleness however, and harsh words were exchanged off the bat. So much for a idealistic partnership. However the combination worked, Baam continually edged on Yotsuba, eventually earning him more recognition for his various feats in keeping up with a child who wielded the ability to cause havoc and destruction with his Genjutsu, a relatively rare ability and one that was a bargaining chip in Baam's favour in the various rendezvous they had with the administration.
And throughout their partnership, Yotsuba pushed at Baam to expand his abilities, in the sort of way that you'd expect a lazy teacher to. Offering the odd tip and giving the vague commentary when they witnessed the occasional spar. Ninjutsu proved to be too troublesome for Baam to even entertain the notion, as he stated that he needed his fingers free for Genjutsu casting. Taijutsu was similarly considered and discarded, both Yotsuba and Baam having a sense of respect and bewilderment of those who would place their bodies so closely on the line. Fuinjutsu was widely considered to be something akin to graffiti, albeit graffiti that had numerous applications, but much like fine art, it took a lot of work to accomplish. What Baam was chasing was something that took one technique to use, and not that much effort afterwards.
His introduction to Puppetry was mostly accidental, as much like Genjutsu, it isn't used much by those in the lofty reaches of Kumogakure, the majority of the populous sporting Taijutsu and Ninjutsu like most of the world. But Puppetry was put to use simply enough. It was mostly a philosophical question that brought it around. If you could manipulate the mind, why not the body? At first this sparked thoughts of Medical Ninjutsu, which had a warmer reception then the previously discussed options but was eventually discarded for much the same reason Ninjutsu and Fuinjutsu were. But it had close ties to Puppetry, and it was the link that allowed that option to be considered. And towards the closing of this, Baam finally received Yotsba's much needed recommendation to join the Shinobi Forces.
However, there was one last thing, a small side note in this brief overview. No such recommendation was ever given by Yotsuba. Because you could never trust a Genjutsu User if you didn't see his hands.
Roleplay Sample: - Quote :
- Kaku had been content to stand amongst the crowd within the room, his features hiding him from notice to the eye that didn't know what it was looking for. However, he was still close enough to catch glimpses of the conversation that was going on beside him, albeit removed by a couple of feet.
And what he heard didn't bode well at all.
Kaku had a theory regarding the Chunin Exams. They were a political neutral zone, all the countries had committed various war crimes against each other. These were oh, so subtly ignored by the festivities of watching a group of hopeful Genin face of against each other. Simply put, under ordinary circumstances, having this sort of greeting was bound to be fraught with long held grudges by older codgers whose memory was far too long. Allowing himself a weary sigh, the boy reflected that neither party was evidently making it easy to co-exist in this temporary peace. "Aha, and what are you gonna do. . .snitch?" Someone really knew how to get on the bad side of people at a rate that was alarming as it was amusing to watch. Still, he would have been content to stand there and quietly chuckle at the childish bickering of the duo until a certain event occurred. This event would not take place for a while yet, and for the purposes of appropriate chronological sequencing, it will be cemented in the right time frame when the internal debate comes to it.
His auditory functions were momentarily blocked as the buzz of conversation drifted over from afar, obscuring his sensory perceptions. When his ears finally lent themselves to him once again, it was an entirely different series of interchanges that greeted him. "Haha yes! Nice to see you come down and greet one of your ninja." Your? Well that might denote a certain degree of ownership, and unless the current speaker was a practitioner of supreme Dominant/Submissive Roles in which you gave up any right to call yourself, you, but theirs- whomever it may be that had gained that level of control over you. Presuming that this was the case, Kaku relaxed, at which point he zoned out of the conversation for the most part. He kept track of the general direction, number of people speaking, and so on. Or at least, a portion of his mind did so. The Elder Farseer was usually assigned these tasks and today proved no different from the traditional modus operandi.
"Good day Tsuchikage..." Oh no. Perhaps this thought had already been shared by some of the parties involved, but he had now gathered enough to know a few things about the conversation at hand. Firstly, at least one of the participants in this conversation was a Missing Nin. It was the Chunin Exams though, so as long as they didn't try anything fishy, it was all good. It was something of an assumption, but he was guessing that whoever the afflicted party was, that they had come from Iwagakure no Sato.
Secondly, the Kage of their country had just popped up. And someone had just thrown them under the proverbial. Was nothing in life ever simple? Wait no, stupid question, of course it wasn't. That was part of his curse charm. What part of him felt obliged to come to the assistance of the interrogated behind him? Was it because of his presumed interpretation of a rule that might not actually exist in the first place? Maybe because Kaku felt that every dog had to have his day. Of course, these were perhaps the interpretations of the Primarch and the Farseer, this was one of those rare times when the two could be mixed together. The Warboss had no interest in the activity unless it had something to do with copulation, fighting, or performing one activity or another which involved his sphere of influence. The Chaos Prince 'harrumphed' and gave off the impression that all he wished to do was watch the fights, at this moment Kaku was observing the final one of his Village-mates engaging in what appeared to be a potentially fatal fight, neither of them were playing with the gloves on any more. Swords and everything.
Tearing his optical receivers away from the screens (some people said it was bad for you anyway) Kaku strode purposefully towards the small congregation of people. As he quickly approached his destination, Kaku pondered how to go about resolving this situation. It would be best to remove the evidence from suspicion, so he'd go about this in the same fashion one might expect someone who looked his age to do such a thing. His face easily fell into the blissful smile of childhood, an expression both serene and innocent. Inserting himself brusquely into a slight pause in the conversation (after a certain multi-armed figure said his part) the young child addressed the couple, who did appear to have had some history in the past.
"THERE YOU ARE!" Maybe he had been a little heavy with the schoolboy persona, that sounded like something a groupy would say. Shuddering at the thought(internally) the brunette ploughed on. Still, he had managed to place the right amount of relief in his tone. Surprise as well, after all, if someone had noticed he had been standing nearby, he needed a legit excuse. "My apologies Madam Tsuchikage," the young boy accompanied the statement with a momentary inclination at the hips. Gotta play it like an overly enthusiastic school-child. Turning his focus back to the couple, he opened his mouth again, this time hoping to have found himself the right niche to speak without being ousted from the group. Maybe no physically, but being mentally acknowledged was something that he could easily be barred from.
"I'm glad that you two are okay, I thought that the Shinobi had got you?" Turning his eyes to the headband in question, he answered his own question, attempting to sound reflective while he did so. "I guess you took a trophy for your troubles?" Gesturing to the item that was the linchpin of this whole fiasco. Goodness gracious, he was just worried that he'd make it all that much worse.
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim: Koon Agero Agnis Source: Tower of God Image URL: Link
Last edited by Iruel on Tue 30 Oct 2012, 12:01 am; edited 17 times in total |
| | | Iruel
Age : 27 Posts : 106
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Mon 22 Oct 2012, 3:03 pm | |
| THE ARSENAL. Weaponry||Kits - Quote :
- Name: Genin Kit
Rank: C Quantity: 1 Contents: 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1]. Weaponry||Scrolls - Quote :
- Name: Medium Scroll[20/20]
Rank: C Type: Supplementary Quantity: - Description: Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a medium scroll will measure up to thirty centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching one metre. Contents: Lighthouse ET-O v.1|| Lighthouse AU-X v.1 - Quote :
- Name: Medium Scroll [15/20]
Rank: C Type: Supplementary Quantity: - Description: Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a medium scroll will measure up to thirty centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching one metre. Contents: Pocket 4 - ER|| Pocket 2 - DM|| Pocket 1 - CQ
- Quote :
- Name: Medium Scroll
Rank: C Type: Supplementary Quantity: - Description: Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a medium scroll will measure up to thirty centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching one metre. Contents: 3 Smoke Pellets|| 1 Windmill Shuriken|| 4 Exploding Notes|| 3 Exploding Pouches - Quote :
- Name: Medium Scroll
Rank: C Type: Supplementary Quantity: - Description: Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a medium scroll will measure up to thirty centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching one metre. Contents: 3 Smoke Pellets|| 1 Windmill Shuriken|| 4 Exploding Notes|| 3 Exploding Pouches
Puppetry Legion
- Lighthouse Series:
Name: Lighthouse AU-X v.1 Rank: C Appearance: The puppet's body takes the shape of a dark blue cube, fairly large in it's size, approximately having the volume of two fully grown men, squished together into the relevant shape. In terms of pure size, it's length and width is 2 meters by 2 meters. Odd by the standards of conventional puppets, this weapon of war is by no means useless however. The outside being constructed of a variety of materials, compressed wood and copper being the primary components. Body Slots: Slot 1: Name: Basic Projectile Launcher [Kunai] Rank: C Slots Required: 1 Type: Offensive Description: A relatively simplistic weapon, the weaponry resides on opposite of the sides of the puppet, and when commanded to fire, small tiles slide open, numbering ten in total, at which point they all can be commanded to fire, individually or separately, the number of times each tile can be commanded to fire is once per reload. The tiles then slide shut to reload, the cool down for the reload time being one post. The puppet may only reload three times in total per topic, the supply of Kunai is shared between each Launch Pad.
Slot 2: Name: Large Body Modification [Plating] Rank: C Slots Required: 3 Type: Defensive Description: Surrounding the cube, there is a layer of steel armour, making the already robust shape all that more proficient at fielding attacks. This plating is placed outside of the puppet, placed to take the more concussive attacks that might deal it damage.
Slot 3: Name: Basic Projectile Launcher [Kunai] Rank: C Slots Required: 1 Type: Offensive Description: A relatively simplistic weapon, the weaponry resides on opposite of the sides of the puppet, and when commanded to fire, small tiles slide open, numbering ten in total, at which point they all can be commanded to fire, individually or separately, the number of times each tile can be commanded to fire is once per reload. The tiles then slide shut to reload, the cool down for the reload time being one post. The puppet may only reload three times in total per topic, the supply of Kunai is shared between each Launch Pad.
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Name: Lighthouse ET-O v.1 Rank: C Appearance: The puppet's body takes the shape of a dark blue cube, fairly large in it's size, approximately having the volume of two fully grown men, squished together into the relevant shape. In terms of length and width, the cube is 1.5 meters by 1.5 meters. Odd by the standards of conventional puppets, this weapon of war is by no means useless however. The outside being constructed of a variety of materials, compressed wood and copper being the primary components.
Body Slots: Slot 1: Name: Large Body Modification [Plating] Rank: C Slots Required: 3 Type: Defensive Description: Surrounding the cube, there is a layer of steel armour, making the already robust shape all that more proficient at fielding attacks. The plating is found within the puppet, protecting the integrity of the machine against impacts.
Slot 2: Name: Large Body Modification [Plating] Rank: C Slots Required: 3 Type: Defensive Description: Surrounding the cube, there is a layer of steel armour, making the already robust shape all that more proficient at fielding attacks. This plating is placed outside of the puppet, placed to take the more concussive attacks that might deal it damage.
- Pocket Series:
Name: Pocket 4 - ER Rank: D Appearance: Best described as a sphere, at worst, a squishy ball with little or no future in the art of warfare. Determined to become something of note, this little sphere is coloured a vibrant black and is rather large for something it's size, reaching at least one and a half meters in diameter. Body Slots: Slot 1: Name: Hidden Camera Rank: D Slots Required: 2 Type: Supplementary Description: As the name dictates, the Puppet boasts a hidden camera of sorts, allowing it to take incriminating photos and display them on the screen it took. It can only take and display one photo before it's memory bank is refreshed with the new image. Each photo can only last a certain amount of time before becoming impossible to decipher. This time frame being two topics.
Slot 2: Name: Recording and Playback Rank: D Slots Required: 2 Type: Supplementary Description: Much like it's partner in exposing crime, this 'weapon' is used to record sounds, and typically conversation from the environment. And while the quality is sub-standard (the original recorded conversation will be given to a unbiased Moderator for scrubbing) it is still workable. A maximum of 50 words can only be recorded.
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Name: Pocket 2 - DM Rank: D Appearance: A cylinder, simplistic in design and built with a purpose in mind. It is by no means a large Puppet, standing roughly at half the height of the average male, coloured white so as to remain congruent with the majority of the pigmentation pattern Baam goes with. Body Slots: Slot 1: Name: Projectile Launcher [Senbon] Rank: D Slots Required: 1 Type: Offensive Description: A very simplistic weapon, it's basis is that of many other puppets -basic offense and attempting to back an opponent into a corner. While this may or may not be an intelligent decision, this is the purpose of the senbon launcher, with some small hole dedicated to firing off the small needles from within it's body, the magazine they were contained it reaching up it's cylindrical shape before being fired from the ejection point at the base of the cylinder. The launcher can fire five senbon per post, and has a total of 45 Senbon to draw on.
Slot 2: Name: Paper Bomb Dispenser Rank: D Slots Required: 3 Type: Offensive Description: If a puppet is going to float overhead, it may as well have something to gloat with as well. This weapon allows the Puppet to drop pre-made paper bombs, with each 'grenade' consisting of three tags glued together around a weight that spreads shards of glass when detonated, it costs 5 CP to ignite with the Academy Technique, and the Puppet carries a limited number of these, maxing out at five.
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Name: Pocket 1 - CQ Rank: D Appearance: Best described as a sphere, at worst, a squishy ball with little or no future in the art of warfare. Determined to become something of note, this little sphere is coloured a vibrant black and is rather large for something it's size, reaching at least one and a half meters in diameter. Body Slots: Slot 1: Name: Integrated Weaponry Rank: D Slots Required: 1 Type: Offensive Description: This particular weapon takes the form of a simple blade, typically sheathed within the circumference of the sphere itself, the blade's length itself is just over a meter, leaving a good portion of it's length within the Puppet where it is firmly locked into place to withstand the rigours of battle. It's length is that of a typical sword, ranging from a sharp point at the tip, to 3 inches across before it enters the sphere when fully extended.
Slot 2: Name: Integrated Weaponry Rank: D Slots Required: 1 Type: Offensive Description: This particular weapon takes the form of a simple blade, typically sheathed within the circumference of the sphere itself, the blade's length itself is just over a meter, leaving a good portion of it's length within the Puppet where it is firmly locked into place to withstand the rigours of battle. It's length is that of a typical sword, ranging from a sharp point at the tip, to 3 inches across before it enters the sphere when fully extended.
Slot 3: Name: Integrated Weaponry Rank: D Slots Required: 1 Type: Offensive Description: This particular weapon takes the form of a simple blade, typically sheathed within the circumference of the sphere itself, the blade's length itself is just over a meter, leaving a good portion of it's length within the Puppet where it is firmly locked into place to withstand the rigours of battle. It's length is that of a typical sword, ranging from a sharp point at the tip, to 3 inches across before it enters the sphere when fully extended.
Slot 4: Name: Integrated Weaponry Rank: D Slots Required: 1 Type: Offensive Description: This particular weapon takes the form of a simple blade, typically sheathed within the circumference of the sphere itself, the blade's length itself is just over a meter, leaving a good portion of it's length within the Puppet where it is firmly locked into place to withstand the rigours of battle. It's length is that of a typical sword, ranging from a sharp point at the tip, to 3 inches across before it enters the sphere when fully extended.
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Last edited by Iruel on Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:04 am; edited 18 times in total |
| | | Iruel
Age : 27 Posts : 106
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Wed 24 Oct 2012, 4:04 am | |
| THE ARSENALcont
- Academy Ninjutsu:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
- Genjutsu||Cannon:
Name: Kasumi Juusha no Jutsu - Mist Servant Technique Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: - Description: Kasumi Juusha no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique that creates up to 5 false attackers to delay and confuse the enemy. Though these servants are not real, the actual ninja is able to remain hidden and throw kunai and shuriken matching the movements of the servants. This makes it appear the false servants are capable of attacking. When the enemy attempts to attack the servant, they will merely disrupt the servants illusion body but not destroy it. If these clones leave 5m radius of the caster, they will disappear. Chakra Cost: 4 (1 per post)
Name: Kokohi no Jutsu - False Place Technique Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Far (0m - 20m) Element: - Description: Kokohi no Jutsu is a simple Genjutsu technique which changes the appearance of a nearby object. The object must be within 20m of the user. Chakra Cost: 4 (1 per post)
Name: Magen • Narakumi no Jutsu - Demonic Illusion • Hell Viewing Technique Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Medium: Single-Target Range: Line of Sight Element: - Description: Magen • Narakumi no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique that causes its target to see a horrifying vision. The ninja will use the serpent hand seal to cause a circle of leaves to spin and envelop the target and then fall away. If the target sees these leaves, the Gen jutsu will be cast. Once cast the world will appear normal to the target until they see the illusion. Chakra Cost:4 (1 per post)
Name: Flower Petal Escape Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: - Description: If the user comes under attack, she or he can use this technique to cover her or his escape. After forming the needed hand seals, the user's body will disperse into a shower of flower petals. These petals will confuse and distract her or his opponent while she or he escapes or hides. This technique works very similarly to substitution, but can also be used to delude the enemy with more flower petal based Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: 5
Name: Kori Shinchuu no Jutsu - Sly Mind Affect Technique Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Multi-Target Range: Far (0m - 25m) Element: - Description: Kori Shinchuu no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique which causes the target to travel around in circles. If the ninja is unable to detect the illusion very quickly, they can become exhausted mentally and physically when they are unable to reach their desired target by traveling along the same path over and over. The caster must remain in the shadows, or within 25m of the targets to maintain this Genjutsu. Only 3 people may be influenced by this Genjutsu at one time. Chakra Cost: 7 (2 per post)
Name: Magen • Jigoku Gouka no Jutsu - Demonic Illusion • Hell Fire Technique Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Far (0m - 30m) Element: - Description: After the user forms the needed handseals, a huge ball of fire will descend from the sky to envelope his or her target. The victims of the genjutsu will believe they are being engulfed by a torrent of fire and flee their location for safety. The fireball cannot reach further than 30m. Chakra Cost: 8 (2 per post)
Name: Konkorudo no Hikō - Flight of the Concorde Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Single-Target Range: Close (0 - 5m), Med (5 - 10m), Far (10m+) Element: - Description: Konkorudo no Hikō is a genjutsu technique. After performing the required handseals and the opponent has maintained eye contact with the users body, the user will be able to call upon a flock of eagles that appear from a cloud surrounding the user within a two metre radius. The group of five average sized bald eagles will fly out of the cloud and at the opponent, to then attack them with their vicious claws or with the use of their sharp beaks. The technique is commonly used to scare opponents away or to distract them enough for a follow - up attack. Chakra Cost: 7 [2]
- Genjutsu||Custom:
Name: Retained Friend||Jōyo tomodachi Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Single Target Range: Far (0m - 30m) Element: - Description: After the opponent his glimpsed the user's face, this Genjutsu can be applied via the user of hand seals, or if they have seen the face that they presume to be the user. i.e, if they were wearing a mask, it would still be effective. This technique enforces the victim's brain to perform a continual re-run of the user's face, or the visage they associate the user's presence with. This causes the face of the user to be spotted in relatively random locations, the trees making shapes and so on, the severity to which the victim is afflicted can depend on a few factors and is really up to the victim's writer as to how the face manifests. At any point, the face can be expected to appear at least two times per post at a minimum, but no more then four at a maximum. It also can be anticipated that the face will appear at the worst possible moment, typically popping up when the target is about to perform some action. The duration of the technique is four posts. Chakra Cost: 5 [2 Upkeep]
Name: Danger! Danger!||Kiken! Kiken! Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Area of Effect Range: Mid (0m - 10m) Element: - Description: Unlike some Genjutsu, this only takes place within a second, a scant moment that becomes infused with frantic, tense energy. Performing a trio of seals, the chakra leeches from the user, and floats into the target who is then instilled with the sense of overbearing dread from a certain visual of the user's choosing. In theory it is a visual that will inspire the most terror in them, it lasts but a scant second, the entirety of the chakra creating the visual and then hijacking that emotion, attempting to ramp it up higher, a ploy that typically is successful. The actual visual itself is fairly simple. The following image being an artist's rendition of the monster, link. This can lead to a variety of effects, from assaulting their mental fortitude to forcing them to make a mistake. The Genjutsu's duration is non-existent, making Kai relatively useless against it. Chakra Cost: 6
Name: Stabby Stabby||Haragatatsu Haragatatsu Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Area of Effect Range: Mid (0m - 10m) Element: - Description: In this instance, a handseal is performed, a single one, and for good reason, as there is a follow-up motion. Swinging their hand forwards, the user then appears to launch a single Kunai at a target. The Kunai's creation is fairly fast, the grasping motion already being heavily associated with pending projectiles in any Shinobi's mind. Per say, the Genjutsu can actually be cast and then left dormant for a total of two turns, but fades away beyond that period of time. The trigger to the dormancy is the throwing action, reaching towards a pocket or some utility pouch, and then swinging the arm forwards, the Genjutsu leaping into action within that time frame. The appearance of the Kunai can be customised, but such an alteration has to be noted when the Genjutsu is cast, not before. These alterations cannot be anything major such as changing it's size or some other quality, purely aesthetic changes such as the addition of a exploding note. The damage the kunai deals is much less then it's real counterpart, indeed, the only feeling one will gain from being stabbed by one of them is a momentary sensation of disorientation. Chakra Cost: 2 per Kunai
Name: Twin Act||Tsuin-hō Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Mid(0m-10m) Element: - Description: A enhancement for the generic Clone technique, this gifts the observers of the Clone with a sense of realism that it previously lacked. The Genjutsu, once cast, allows a single Bushin to seemingly interact with the environment for a short period of time and a limited extend. The duration of the technique is four posts. The limitations of the interaction are fairly evident. For example, it cannot produce sensations of pain or any other feeling. Touching one will still have the same effect. However it does seemingly cast a shadow, leave imprints on the ground and make sounds when it moves. The Clone can also talk now, allowing the user to explore various depths of subterfuge. Chakra Cost: 4 per Clone [2 Upkeep per Clone]
- Puppetry||Cannon:
Name: Soushuriken no Jutsu - Manipulate Shuriken Technique Rank: D Type: Puppetry Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+) Element: N/A Description: After hurling his/her giant shuriken, the user can control their path and movements by using wires which run from the shuriken itself back to his arm. Because his/her opponent will think they are normal shuriken, they will be off guard about their ability to redirect themselves. Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Kawara Shuriken - Roof Tile Shuriken Rank: C Type: Puppetry Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: This jutsu is similar in principle to Manipulating Attack Blades, but uses spinning tiles instead of regular weapons. In addition to being able to control the tiles remotely, the user can pressurize the tiles with chakra to make them far stronger than normal and capable of dealing the same damage as regular shuriken. Chakra Cost: 7
Name: Kugutsu no Jutsu • Puppetry Technique Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to use a puppet to attack from afar in battle. This is done by using chakra and forming them into strings which are then emitted from the fingers to the puppet. Should the user’s hands become disabled, either through physical injury or chakra impairment, this technique becomes neutralized. Chakra Cost: 5 (2 Per Post)
Name: Soushuuha - Manipulate Advancing Blades Rank: C Type: Puppetry Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to hover multiple kunai in the air with their chakra, and direct them to an opponent. Using this technique, the user can unleash a torrent of kunai much more quickly than if each one was thrown individually. By using the Puppet Technique with this jutsu, the user may control discarded or already used weapons. Chakra Cost: 7
Last edited by Iruel on Tue 30 Oct 2012, 6:13 am; edited 4 times in total |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Sat 27 Oct 2012, 1:13 am | |
| Hey there! So a few things I found worth mentioning:
- Please make a space between the paragraphs as it's much easier to read then and doesn't look as .. clustered and messy.
- You forgot to add forehead protector information.
- Would be nice to get to know how tall he is... Also, you write well and you give out much information, but I feel like you lack information specifically about your character. Like, you can go on and on about things around him, and I still feel a bit like I haven't gotten to know that much about Baam. Just a little note really.. it happens in a few places in your application.
- You put the clan spot empty, and don't mention a clan anywhere, yet it states in the personality that he is a Nara? So it was just a figure of speech?
- Quote :
- Baam is a Nara
The personality is also a bit confusing tbh.. He has multi-personalities?
- Need more history. More about your character and not just everything that is happening around him. Give something about his birth and what he is doing currently and such.
- You name the same technique twice for the same puppet.
- Quote :
- Slot 3:
Name: Basic Projectile Launcher [Kunai] Rank: C Slots Required: 1 Type: Offensive Description: A relatively simplistic weapon, the weaponry resides on opposite of the sides of the puppet, and when commanded to fire, small tiles slide open, numbering fifteen in total, at which point they all can be commanded to fire, individually or separately. The tiles then slide shut to reload, the cool down for the reload time being one post. The puppet may only reload three times in total per topic, the supply of Kunai is shared between each Launch Pad. Also might want to reduce the number of kunai shot at the same time just a little bit.
- Was it your desire to have two identical puppets that share the same abilities, or was it just something you forgot to edit?
-
- Quote :
- Name: Danger! Danger!|Kiken! Kiken!
Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Area of Effect Range: Far (0m - 20m) Element: - Description: Unlike some Genjutsu, this only takes place within a second, a scant moment that becomes infused with frantic, tense energy. Performing a trio of seals, the chakra leeches from the user, and floats into the target who is then instilled with the sense of overbearing dread from a certain visual of their choosing. In theory it is a visual that will inspire the most terror in them, it lasts but a scant second, the entirety of the chakra creating the visual and then hijacking that emotion, attempting to ramp it up higher, a ploy that typically is successful. This can lead to a variety of effects, from assaulting their mental fortitude to forcing them to make a mistake. The Genjutsu's duration is non-existant, making Kai relatively useless against it. Chakra Cost: 5 There needs to be a specific 1 image/visual in this jutsu, as otherwise it seems that he would be rummaging around in each person's mind to find a specific and special image just for them. And that's not really something a Genin should be able to do.
Range should also be dropped down to 10 m and CP cost should be 6.
-
- Quote :
- Name: Stabby Stabby|Haragatatsu Haragatatsu
Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Area of Effect Range: Mid (0m - 10m) Element: - Description: This Genjutsu is much the same as the instant effect variations, in that the event takes place usually before the Shinobi can Kai away, or that they are usually doing something else instead of Kai'ing. In this instance, a handseal is performed, a single one, and for good reason, as there is a follow-up motion. Swinging their hand forwards, the user then appears to launch a single Kunai at a target. What is interesting about the technique is the amount of variation that can be used. If the user wishes, they can make it so that only one person can see their own Kunai. Or they can make it so that the whole group can see the oncoming barrage, decreasing the chance that they will be able to detect it is a Genjutsu. The second stage of the technique is the impact. The Kunai's speed is much the same as it's real life counterpart, but can be dictated by the user, not to the point where it is impossible to avoid, but enough so that forming hand-seals can easily be interrupted by the illusionary attack. Chakra Cost: 2 per Kunai - Quote :
- "This Genjutsu is much the same as the instant effect variations, in that the event takes place usually before the Shinobi can Kai away, or that they are usually doing something else instead of Kai'ing."
Please remove this part from the jutsu. It doesn't need to be there, and makes the jutsu seem more powerful than it is. All your character is doing is hurling an imaginary kunai at people, and it can be kai'd away.
And ether all the people see the kunai, or just one person. It can't be either or.
Also, does the kunai need to be seen first before this jutsu can take place? Or the throwing action? Because we don't want someone invisible to be throwing out illusionary kunai that can still deal damage. Like making attacks at people's backs etc.
-
- Quote :
Fuinjutsu||Cannon:
Name: Chozou no Jutsu (Storage Technique) Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1CP to seal, and 1CP to unseal This jutsu is already on the academy list, so no need to mention it again and it doesn't take up a jutsu slot.
|
| | | Iruel
Age : 27 Posts : 106
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Sat 27 Oct 2012, 9:48 am | |
| - MsMoney wrote:
Please make a space between the paragraphs as it's much easier to read then and doesn't look as .. clustered and messy. I tried to do some cleaning up, tell me if more is required.
- MsMoney wrote:
You forgot to add forehead protector information. I did too, fixed.
- MsMoney wrote:
Would be nice to get to know how tall he is... Also, you write well and you give out much information, but I feel like you lack information specifically about your character. Like, you can go on and on about things around him, and I still feel a bit like I haven't gotten to know that much about Baam. Just a little note really.. it happens in a few places in your application. It'll be like that 'til I RP some with him I imagine. He's a relatively new production of mine, and is a slight twist on a few concepts. And hey, if you haven't gotten to know much about him, you can always come RP I promise to make it entertaining.
- MsMoney wrote:
You put the clan spot empty, and don't mention a clan anywhere, yet it states in the personality that he is a Nara? So it was just a figure of speech? - Quote :
- Baam is a Nara
The personality is also a bit confusing tbh.. He has multi-personalities? When I first drafted him, I had a few starting thoughts in mind, for one, the Shinobi who wants to be a Child Soldier, but is far too human and whole for it to work out. And somehow being heartless while having a heart and stopping it from being awkward was....hard to figure out. The Nara was an initial start, and it's been phased out since you pointed it out.
- MsMoney wrote:
Need more history. More about your character and not just everything that is happening around him. Give something about his birth and what he is doing currently and such. Ugh, Birth. I'll see what I can do. I've added in something else in case I don't get around to it, gave some more plot to him.
- MsMoney wrote:
You name the same technique twice for the same puppet. - Quote :
- Slot 3:
Name: Basic Projectile Launcher [Kunai] Rank: C Slots Required: 1 Type: Offensive Description: A relatively simplistic weapon, the weaponry resides on opposite of the sides of the puppet, and when commanded to fire, small tiles slide open, numbering fifteen in total, at which point they all can be commanded to fire, individually or separately. The tiles then slide shut to reload, the cool down for the reload time being one post. The puppet may only reload three times in total per topic, the supply of Kunai is shared between each Launch Pad. Also might want to reduce the number of kunai shot at the same time just a little bit. I do acknowledge their existence there, and I've knocked it down to 10 firing slots.
- MsMoney wrote:
- Was it your desire to have two identical puppets that share the same abilities, or was it just something you forgot to edit?
One does happen to be defensive, the other offensive. AU has two firing pads and one layer of armour. ET has two layers of armour. So they don't have quite the same abilities in that sense. Both of them are built around the same concept. It was purposeful to have them with the same appearance however.
- MsMoney wrote:
- Name: Danger! Danger!|Kiken! Kiken!
Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Area of Effect Range: Far (0m - 20m) Element: - Description: Unlike some Genjutsu, this only takes place within a second, a scant moment that becomes infused with frantic, tense energy. Performing a trio of seals, the chakra leeches from the user, and floats into the target who is then instilled with the sense of overbearing dread from a certain visual of their choosing. In theory it is a visual that will inspire the most terror in them, it lasts but a scant second, the entirety of the chakra creating the visual and then hijacking that emotion, attempting to ramp it up higher, a ploy that typically is successful. This can lead to a variety of effects, from assaulting their mental fortitude to forcing them to make a mistake. The Genjutsu's duration is non-existant, making Kai relatively useless against it. Chakra Cost: 5
There needs to be a specific 1 image/visual in this jutsu, as otherwise it seems that he would be rummaging around in each person's mind to find a specific and special image just for them. And that's not really something a Genin should be able to do.
Range should also be dropped down to 10 m and CP cost should be 6. A little clumsily worded perhaps, but it's been redressed and stuff. All the stats are done as well.
- MsMoney wrote:
- Name: Stabby Stabby|Haragatatsu Haragatatsu
Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Area of Effect Range: Mid (0m - 10m) Element: - Description: This Genjutsu is much the same as the instant effect variations, in that the event takes place usually before the Shinobi can Kai away, or that they are usually doing something else instead of Kai'ing. In this instance, a handseal is performed, a single one, and for good reason, as there is a follow-up motion. Swinging their hand forwards, the user then appears to launch a single Kunai at a target. What is interesting about the technique is the amount of variation that can be used. If the user wishes, they can make it so that only one person can see their own Kunai. Or they can make it so that the whole group can see the oncoming barrage, decreasing the chance that they will be able to detect it is a Genjutsu. The second stage of the technique is the impact. The Kunai's speed is much the same as it's real life counterpart, but can be dictated by the user, not to the point where it is impossible to avoid, but enough so that forming hand-seals can easily be interrupted by the illusionary attack. Chakra Cost: 2 per Kunai
- Quote :
This Genjutsu is much the same as the instant effect variations, in that the event takes place usually before the Shinobi can Kai away, or that they are usually doing something else instead of Kai'ing." Please remove this part from the jutsu. It doesn't need to be there, and makes the jutsu seem more powerful than it is. All your character is doing is hurling an imaginary kunai at people, and it can be kai'd away. Ah yes, perfectly true. All that was meant by that statement was that people are usually going to dodge a kunai rather then Kai it. That said, if they have prior experience with the technique and have proof that it is false, no problem with it.
- MsMoney wrote:
And ether all the people see the kunai, or just one person. It can't be either or. Also, does the kunai need to be seen first before this jutsu can take place? Or the throwing action? Because we don't want someone invisible to be throwing out illusionary kunai that can still deal damage. Like making attacks at people's backs etc. Dangit, thought I'd gotten rid of that. Hopefully changed it around enough for your purposes.
- MsMoney wrote:
Name: Chozou no Jutsu (Storage Technique) Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1CP to seal, and 1CP to unseal
- MsMoney wrote:
This jutsu is already on the academy list, so no need to mention it again and it doesn't take up a jutsu slot.
Ah well, suits me. Making/made an additional Custom Gen to fit in with a mention in my history. |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Sat 27 Oct 2012, 7:02 pm | |
| Hey again ^^ and thanks so much for being so understanding and willing to work with me!
-
- Quote :
- I tried to do some cleaning up, tell me if more is required.
It looks much better now!
-
- Quote :
- It'll be like that 'til I RP some with him I imagine. He's a relatively new production of mine, and is a slight twist on a few concepts. And hey, if you haven't gotten to know much about him, you can always come RP I promise to make it entertaining.
I kinda like the sassy yet polite answering, so I will hold you to your words about this! I don't know if the next mod will have any problems, but I feel content for now.
- I can work with the more plot thing in the history, as you did at least add more to read there.
- And alright, am glad things are clear for me with the puppets x) I was a little confused at first, but now it makes sense!
You did the correct changes to the jutsu, and as far as I can see .. there isn't a problem with your new Genjutsu. But I am fairly new to this business, so the next mod might have more to say.
(1/2) Approved.
|
| | | Enzo
Age : 29 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Mon 29 Oct 2012, 10:06 pm | |
| Okie doke, sorry for the delay. Only a few things I want to go over with you, most are minor changes. - First off; your personality, appearance combat style and history are still rather clunky. Dunno if you went crazy with that enter button or something, but every few sentences is single-spaced. I request you edit it a bit better so there aren't random line breaks throughout, however this is really just an aesthetic request. Not gonna' deny the app because of that
However, your history should be broken into some paragraphs instead of walls of text.
- Dunno if this was intentional or not, but your other three scrolls are empty. You're allowed to store E-rank weapons in the scrolls without having the Weaponry specialty; if you want at least.
-
- Quote :
- Basic Projectile Launcher [Kunai]
Exactly how many kunai are launched from each slot? State that for both launchers please.
- You're allowed 1 more slot for your first Lighthouse puppet.
- Your second puppet has two identical attachments; both of which have the same effects.. I'm a little baffled what the purpose of that second attachment is.
- You're allowed five puppets total, however only a max of 2 C-rank puppets. As such, you can still have 3 more D-rank puppets if you want.
-
- Quote :
- Twin Act||Tsuin-hō
How come this jutsu is incredibly deterring to your character? It seems like a slightly more advanced Haze Clone technique, yet it costs twice as much in upkeep, and makes it nearly impossible for your character to move while using it. I mean, if you're okay with this, you can keep it; however I feel you may be being too harsh on the restrictions for such a simplistic Genjutsu.
That is all for now. |
| | | Iruel
Age : 27 Posts : 106
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Tue 30 Oct 2012, 12:28 am | |
| - Quote :
- First off; your personality, appearance combat style and history are still rather clunky. Dunno if you went crazy with that enter button or something, but every few sentences is single-spaced. I request you edit it a bit better so there aren't random line breaks throughout, however this is really just an aesthetic request. Not gonna' deny the app because of that Razz
I had a shot at it, more paragraphs and less meaningless spaces now I hope, but I'll take a run through it when I can. History has been hit with a hammer anyway.
- Quote :
- Dunno if this was intentional or not, but your other three scrolls are empty. You're allowed to store E-rank weapons in the scrolls without having the Weaponry specialty; if you want at least.
Uh, yeah, it was kinda. I don't really see the point of storing my weaponry in then. Do you get some kind of bonus? If they were something like that vambrace Saskue had against Danzo, sure. But they're scrolls. - Quote :
Exactly how many kunai are launched from each slot? State that for both launchers please. 1 per tile?
- Quote :
- Your second puppet has two identical attachments; both of which have the same effects.. I'm a little baffled what the purpose of that second attachment is.
There is a slight difference between the two. One is inside the puppet, protecting the integrity of the thing, the other is outside, taking all dem hard blows. I dunno how well that translates out to added protection.
- Quote :
- You're allowed five puppets total, however only a max of 2 C-rank puppets. As such, you can still have 3 more D-rank puppets if you want.
Okay, gimme a sec and I'll toss them in. |
| | | Enzo
Age : 29 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Tue 30 Oct 2012, 2:07 am | |
| - Still a few minor bumps, but it doesn't really bother me too much.
- Well, your scrolls allow you to carry more items, and these items reload at the end of the topic, just like kits. The scrolls would essentially be additional kits in case you needed some extra items.
- Sorry, I seemed to have missed that the first time I thought it was a more machine-gun type of weapon.
- Alright, fair enough.
- Feel free to bump when you finish these puppets.
|
| | | Iruel
Age : 27 Posts : 106
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Tue 30 Oct 2012, 6:22 am | |
| -Sorry, I'm hardly the neatest writer. -I see, sorta. Kinda feels like cheating. But meh, check if I've done it right? -It's fine, but no, I added a machine-gun weapon to one of these other Puppets though. -Did some touching up on that Twin Step Gen thingy(can't remember my own tech names, TWIN ACT, that's it.) -Tossed in 3 D-Rank Puppets. |
| | | Enzo
Age : 29 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Tue 30 Oct 2012, 7:49 am | |
| - Nah, it's fine. I'm just a perfectionist.
- It's sort of cheating, but then again it's kind of hard to unseal a load of weapons in the middle of combat.
- M'kay.
- Looks good.
- They all look nice. Way to keep it simple. I do have one comment though. Mind changing the paper bomb weapon to contain only 3-4 explosive tags? Main reason is that it consumes a C-rank amount of chakra to explode the notes (albeit by only 1CP, though it would still qualify as a C-rank explosion), and that's not practical for a D-rank weapon. Other than that, I'd say you're good to go.
|
| | | Iruel
Age : 27 Posts : 106
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:07 am | |
| -I'd say I am as well, but evidently not at your level -Lmao, Staff Approved Loophole for the win. -Yayz -Eh, I haven't really been trying to create innovative weapons for my first few. Most of those will come out at the higher ranks. That said, edits all done. |
| | | Enzo
Age : 29 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Tue 30 Oct 2012, 6:50 pm | |
| [1/2] Approved! (Apologies, but since you added new puppets, I need a second staffer to verify my decision. It shouldn't take long, since it's just the puppets.) |
| | | Kiseki
Posts : 1216
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Tue 30 Oct 2012, 7:55 pm | |
| The puppets are fine to me however this is assuming they can withstand a b rank jutsu before starting to sustain heavy damage, correct? (Referring to the plated puppets) |
| | | Iruel
Age : 27 Posts : 106
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:49 pm | |
| Well that's the question here. Do the Puppets stack the baseline quota of protection like traditional armour on here? That being shielding against three attacks of equal rank and two above or just shielding against one C-rank attack? If so, my most heavily armoured one will be able to take something along the lines of nine C-Ranks or six B-ranks before being destroyed. I'm not sure if you want something quite that durable running around. So yes, I'd assume that they would withstand B-Ranked damage. |
| | | Kiseki
Posts : 1216
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Thu 01 Nov 2012, 7:57 pm | |
| No it doesn't triple it. That would be far too broken for a C-rank to have. I'd say considering the fact that one is on the outside and one is on the inside it would merely take 3 B-ranks before breaking down to its inner core or 4 C-ranks. Then it can still be held together by its other plating but since that plating is limited in the fact that it can't be bulky it would only withstand 2 B-ranks or 4 C-ranks. Sound fair? |
| | | Iruel
Age : 27 Posts : 106
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Fri 02 Nov 2012, 12:27 am | |
| Absolutely, judgement accepted. |
| | | Kiseki
Posts : 1216
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Sat 03 Nov 2012, 5:16 pm | |
| Please wait, we are currently trying to resolve armor and your puppets have armor so I can not approve this until it is resolved. Sorry but remain patient. |
| | | Kiseki
Posts : 1216
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Sun 04 Nov 2012, 5:07 pm | |
| Approved 2/2
P.S. Keep in mind what I said about your puppets, Also! Make an account here - Clicky |
| | | Enzo
Age : 29 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] Tue 08 Jan 2013, 10:40 pm | |
| Archived. Due to Inactivity. |
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| Subject: Re: [Śākyamuni, Baam] [Kumo Genin] | |
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