Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin

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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 24 May 2010, 3:40 am

Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Ninja_Girl_1
Basic Information:

Name: Saru Saya
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Physical Appearance:
Saya is a sight amongst her clan, and something to be appreciated. Her hair is black as night, shimmering like threads of satin that end just at her shoulders. She keeps it cut short for ease of care, and her Kiri headband does well to help keep the loose flowing strands out of her eyes. Her eyes are a dull blue, light when contrasted by her hair, but dark still. They have the color of unpolished sapphire and are flecked with a dozen other shades of blue through-out. Her body is in superb condition, toned and well muscled. She is slim and compact, but far from soft. Her body is firm and ripe with muscle, evidence of her near constant training and improvement of herself. She is only five feet tall, but she carries herself as though she was a giant. She looks as though she thinks she couldn't possibly lose in life, and maybe she can't.

She is seen most commonly wearing her armored cloak, and revealing very little beneath it. Her cloak is a layer of small steel plates, each one layered in a design like dragon scales. Beneath the steel scales rests a covering of soft and supple leater. While this armor is very heavy, it works well to keep her safe and protected. When she is at rest, the cloak covers her well from shoulders to shins, leaving only her booted feet exposed and some of her metal shin guards. Her head is covered in a conical steel helm that has been lacquered to take a dark black sheen, the Kirigakure symbol embossed in a bright gold on its front. Just beneath her helmet she wears a solid steel face plate, a sculpted steel sheet made to take on the image of an oni. It has large black eyes and an open mouth full of fangs, and does well at concealing the identity of the person behind it. Looking at her it would be hard to imagine an attractive girl is somewhere behind that mask. Instead she takes on the appearance of a warrior, made all the more obvious by the weapon held in her hand. The spear she uses is taller than she is, and clearly much older.

Beneath her cloak, Saya is still armored. Steel plates of lacquered metal are fastened securely around her wrists, forearms, and shins. A strip of purple silk wraps around her left arm, covering her from wrist to elbow. On the strong silk there's a series of seals, though written in black they are hard to make out. Her feet are covered in leather boots, the strong hide riveted with metal plates, much like her cloak. Her torso is covered in a loose flowing robe that allows for great ease of mobility. Her family's famous metal chain rests beneath that, appearing much like fishnet from a distance. She is simply bristling with weaponry, far beyond the large spear held in her hands. She's got kunai and shuriken strapped to her thighs, and a curved katana resting at her hip. For throwing axes hang from her left hip, lined up in a row and clattering against each other. Only the thin chain mail covering her thighs keeps their exposed blades from cutting her. On her right hip hangs a coil of steel chain, attached to the end of a heavy dagger. The Kyoketsu Shoge has only a sharp thrusting tip, but just above the handle is a curved sickle blade. At the other end of the chain is a weighted metal loop about 6 inches in diameter.

Personality:
Some would say that Saya has little personality. When Saya is on duty she is quiet, serious, and seldom one to take even light things lightly. That is not to say she is harsh, Saya is just a little cold. Emotions have little place in her style of fighting, and she is a stoic, honorable, and proud warrior. She is a victim of her own overconfidence, and at times can get herself in over her head. Saya is fearless, and bold, and seldom one to turn down a challenge.

In spite of her reckless nature, and condifent disposition, Saya is frustratingly hard to manipulate. Her emotions have been cooled by her long and trying life, so trying to stoke her emotions is difficult. She has a logical and level head, and is not one for toying with her prey. While at times she takes a defensive stac to wear a difficult opponent down, Saya is not above quickly dispatching a weaker opponent, without a second thought.

Saya has a strong code of Honor that she adheres to in both her professional life, and her personal life. Saya is not the type to ambush an opponent and destroy them before they can react. This goes doubly for opponents she views as lower rank, or weaker than she is. Saya will almost always present herself before a fight begins, to be sure her opponents are aware of the danger of their situation.

When off duty, Saya is more relaxed. She smiles frequently and rarely complains about anything at all. While she is not the most social of people, she isn't exactly shy. She is simply disinterested in the boring day to day dealings of living a citizens life. Saya is a warrior by nature, and adventurer by trade. She is a curious explorer, and views everything in life through rose tinted glasses. To Saya, life is to be enjoyed until it's over, and Saya enjoys little more than battle.


Clan Information:

Clan Name: Ashigaru
Clan Location: Any
Clan Traits: Secret Techniques, Weaponry
Kekkei Genkai: None
Secret Clan Jutsu:
Spoiler:
Clan Details:
Open

Rank Information:

Rank: Chuunin
Village Affiliation: Kirigakure

Special Information:

Character Speciality:
Main: Weaponry [Swords/Ranged]
Sub: Weaponry [Exotic/Polearms]
Elemental Affinity:
Main: Wind
Sub: Fire
Special Characteristics:
Through excess training and physical conditioning, Saya has sculpted her young body into that of a hearty warrior. She will not falter in combat, and is known even amongst her clan as an expert combatant. In spite of her young age, Saya has already won many tournaments, and defeated numerous enemies. She is confident, obedient, and always willing to put all her effort into everything she's ordered to do. Saya is almost immune to the effects of fear and fatigue due to a rough life within her clan.

Because Saya has spent so much time wearing her heavy training weights, she has increased her strength far beyond the normal limits of a human. Saya is able to lift and carry loads weighing upwards of 800lbs while wearing her training weights. Because Saya is so strong, She is also able to pull, push, punch and kick with the same extra strength. Her extra strength also applies to jumping, swimming, and throwing

It should also be noted that though she may not look it, if saya is wearing her training weights she weighs almost 800 lbs. People trying to push, lift, and move her should be aware of the bonus this extra weight gives her in resisting such things. Due to the constant strain of carrying her training weights everywhere, Saya should be exhausted at all times. Because her clan allows her to resist such things, this strain is instead pushed on her chakra supply. Because of this, Saya has 3 C ranks less of Chakra than your average Chuunin.

Durring her life traveling through the islands of Kiri, Saya has picked up some skill in sailing. After six months of actual instruction, Saya has become a fine sailor. She can navigate by the stars, and opperate a small ship well enough for sea voyages.


Skill Information:

Ninjutsu
Spoiler:

Weapon Maneuvers
Spoiler:

Void Vortex Sword Style
Spoiler:

Steel Defense Style
Spoiler:


Inventory:

Swords
Spoiler:

Polearms
Spoiler:

Ranged
Spoiler:

Exotic
Spoiler:

Ammo, Armor, and Misc
Spoiler:


Last edited by Wind on Tue 01 Jun 2010, 5:11 pm; edited 31 times in total
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 24 May 2010, 3:40 am

Summoning Contract:
Kouga and Shikaze

Background Information

History:
-Birth and Childhood
Spoiler:

-Academy Arc-
Spoiler:

-Genin Advancment
Spoiler:

Role-Play Sample:
Spoiler:


Last edited by Wind on Mon 31 May 2010, 1:38 am; edited 4 times in total
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Travis
Travis

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 24 May 2010, 6:28 am

Why do you have a random mix of Taijutsu and Medical Ninjustu?
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 24 May 2010, 6:36 am

The Medical ninjutsu are actualy stuck with me because of Hage's character. He implanted some vine in me, and I ended up with those two jutsu. As the jutsu says, the vines pretty much do them on their own, and Saya has little to no control over it. She's just stuck with them. It's briefly mentioned in the history as well.

The taijutsu is just my clan's secret jutsu that makes them unstoppable killing machines. My clan mentions that even ninja without a taijutsu specialty still get the full benefit of the Soldier's Endurance jutsu. I added a note to the jutsu to better explain their orgin.
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Adam
The Boss
Adam

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyWed 26 May 2010, 9:24 am

Lower your sword to B rank, your a Chuunin.
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyWed 26 May 2010, 9:56 am

My clan allows for 1 weapon above my rank. As you can see it is essentially a B rank weapon, however the A rank just represents the weapons great age, and solid construction. I've had to go over this a few times. The sword being A rank pretty much just enhances it's damage and durrability, making it harder for others to take away my only form of offense. Ashigaru live by their weapons, after all.

The stipulation for my higher ranked weapons is that my clan has to make them underpowered on their effects,essentialy a B rank weapon. all it does is allow for Chakra to be channeled into it. It doesn't launch massive fire balls or anything like that, it just channels chakra like a B ranked sword.

however, Ashigaru weapons are all hundreds and hundreds of years old, and are all family heirlooms that have been passed down from warrior to warrior over centuries of history. The extra rank just shows off that even for a relatively normal sword, it has superior craftsmanship making it up. Superior to even your average B ranked katana.
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Adam
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Adam

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyWed 26 May 2010, 10:28 am

Well I apoligize for missing your clan application, because you would be asked too change, having that in your clan breaches a rule, you cannot have it just because your clan is bending the rules, just because something is old, doesn't make it's rank go higher.
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyWed 26 May 2010, 7:32 pm

Adam, we've been through this before. Read my clan, it's balanced enough. You are the one who approved it after a long and drawn out conversation about my clan. You agreed to the terms of, no stupidly powerful weapons,and the bonus rank was ok. And it's not breaking a rule any more than Wood element is breaking a rule. "Most" people are only permitted 2 elements, but some people get 1 extra one. My clan doesn't even get an extra element, we just get a stronger sword than most.
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Travis
Travis

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyWed 26 May 2010, 11:31 pm

Although you may be allowed 1 rank higher, that is a custom weapon and your only allowed 1 rank higher from your clan. That is not on your clan list of weapons.
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyThu 27 May 2010, 12:19 am

My clan's weaponry pretty much allows for a single weapon to be listed as one rank higher. The blade my character carries now is right out of the Ashigaru armory. While it does say that Ashigaru swords do not often channel chakra, some are allowed. Being a skilled and higher ranking shinobi now, she'd be given a better sword to match her skills. It has no openly magical effects, except allowing me to channel chakra into it, so that Saya can use her void style. I'mm quote some relevant lines from my clan's weaponry section.

"A ranked blades are handed out to those who reach chuunin, however nothing further than this. As was previously mentioned, the great rarity of S ranked swords leaves them as little more than ceremony pieces, held by the greatest leaders of the Ashigaru. A ranked swords of the Ashigaru clan are fine weapons, but none possess any sort of openly magical effect. They can not create elements, and often times can not channel chakra. A ranked blades are, however, harder to beak still. The blades can be trod upon by hordes of elephants, and bent in a press, but the metal will never break. Such swords are treasures from the greatest warriors of the ashigaru and are sure to take many, many lives."

As it says, You don't always get a chakra conductive blade, but sometimes you do. Saya did. But even still, it is little more effective than a B ranked blade. It doesn't do any of the more powerful, and somewhat absurd thing an actual A ranked sword would be capable of. For example, it doesn't slice through stone like butter, it doesn't coat itself in fire, it doesn't shoot lightning at people. it doesn't hypnotise or suck souls, or drain blood, or inflict poison. It just channels chakra. It's a B ranked sword.

Because it is so old and battle tested, it is strong and an antique masterwork weapon. It's A rank only in the damage it deals, and the difficulty it would take for someone else to break it. I was inspired to do this, because I've seen a lot of people who can just break a weapon at the drop of a hat. This is my foil to being disabled by one broken weapon. I still see it as fair and balanced, but I am willing to negotiate.

As the blade is now, it could just be made a B ranked sword, and be just a weapon I picked up. This would then allow me to just craft an insanely well made mundane blade, and make it A rank. I can be fine with this, having a fourth sword to wear would just let me have more weapons on Saya. I just don't see it as necessary, because the A ranked sword currently on the sheet, perfectly falls inline with the rules and spirit of my clan.

Let me know what you think, I'm flexible.
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Adam
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Adam

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyThu 27 May 2010, 10:14 am

Sword stronger than most, everybody thinks their swords the most powerful. I wouldn't have agreed to an extra rank up bonus, I don't allow it.
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyThu 27 May 2010, 7:17 pm

My sword has been discussed over and over. It's been approved of three times. Once by you, Once by Cara, and once by Z. Other mods have also expressed that the ability is balanced. I don't know why you are trying to delay my character based on something that is already approved in the game.

I do see that Travis has me on something of a technicality. I never designed the A ranked versions of my clan's weapons, which is an unfortunate lack of foresight on my part. The blade I created was something I've had in mind for a very long time, and in my oppinion fully falls in line with what the weaponry section of my clan intends for its soldiers. However, I didn't quite word it just right, I suppose.

Like I said, I am flexible. I'm willing to take a different A ranked blade and turn the hurricane blade into a B ranked sword. I just don't want too. This sword is supposed to work with my clan. Let me know if I need to add another weapon. Pleased stop telling my sword is not allowed. It is allowed, and has been allowed for the last 4 months or whatever that I have been playing. -.-
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Caranore
Caranore

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyThu 27 May 2010, 9:13 pm

As far as Im concerned, I see no real problems. I dont see why you are working on this so hard Adam, considering you went over and reapproved her clan, which means that if its a problem now it means you didnt really check it over thoroughly. You approved the One rank higher bit at the time that mattered with her clan application.

Edit: Woulda posted this too, but I had to go double check something and this computer cant handle two Us tabs open at once.

Wind, your clan specifically states it applies to the Aishigaru Standard issue weapons only. Therefore you cannot have a custom A-Rank Weapon. If yoou really wish to have it as an A-Rank, you would need to create the whole set of Chuunin+ weapons for standard issue and have them approved and added to your clan. So, at the current time, your blade needs to be B-Rank.
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyThu 27 May 2010, 9:39 pm

Alright, I can live with that. I don't want to edit my clan, so I will just stick with high quality mundane weaponry. It still works for the clan. I reduced the hurricane blade to B rank to better describe it's quality, and added an A ranked Ashigaru Honor Blade to fill the role of my clan's +1 weapon.

Please look over my sheet again, of course there are more than just my A ranked sword to worry about.
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 31 May 2010, 8:55 am

Bump
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Aaron
Aaron

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 31 May 2010, 9:58 pm

I'd feel more comfortable in approving this if you beefed up your personality. Try to make it around 5 paragraphs. Smile

Wind wrote:
Because she is so strong her physical attacks deal 20% more damage than a weapon of it’s rank should wield.

20% is a little overpowered, I'd say 10~15%. Wink

Wind wrote:
if saya is wearing her training weights she weighs almost 800 lbs


800lbs is a LOT. An average girl of 15 would weigh around 120-140lbs. A female ninja of 15 would weigh around 150-175lbs due to excess muscle mass. So minimum, your weapons weigh around 625lbs? -- I've just scrolled further down and seen how many items you carry around on your body. Okay, but if you weigh this much you are going to be quite slow whilst not using your jutsu which speed you up. Even with your muscle mass you'd still be quite slow when travelling normally because 625lbs is a lot to carry, so please be aware of this. Wink

Wind wrote:
Saya should be exhausted at all times. Because her clan allows her to resist such things, this strain is instead pushed on her chakra supply. Because of this, Saya has 1 B rank less of Chakra than your average Chuunin.


In order to make a few more drawbacks so your character isn't overpowered, I'd change this to 3 C-Ranks (1 and 1/2 B-Ranks) less chakra.

I've got to go, but I'll check some more when I get back. ;]
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 31 May 2010, 10:10 pm

Alright, I removed the extra damage. Honestly, strength doesn't mean damage when it comes to skillfully using a weapon. A sword through the heart does the same damage, no matter how hard you put it there.

I switched it to 3 c ranks, that's agreeable.

Saya weighs so much because she has 600 pounds worth of training weights on her.
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Aaron
Aaron

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 31 May 2010, 10:43 pm

Why do you have two of Y's medical ninjutsu? I heard you had them implanted in you, but I'll need some clarification on this from you.

Wind wrote:
This technique can punch through armor with rank equal to the rank this jutsu was used at. It requires the focusing and use of chakra equal to half the chakra used in a ninjutsu of the same rank.

If it can punch through armour of equal rank, it will have to use the full amount of chakra the jutsu is ranked at, not half.

Your Void Style has me thinking, if it creates a void surely you would also be in the small explosion range as well as your opponent? I know you state it isn't because you swing outwards, but I think that'd be too OP. My advice would be to nerf your speed when using the void style to 10-15% faster/stronger, rather than 20%.
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 31 May 2010, 10:56 pm

When Kakuhan (Hage's Jounin) Took an interest in Saya, he implanted a seed in here, that is part of his clan's natural abilities. The seed grew into a paracitic vine that lives inside of Saya, and somehow has the power to heal her, and repair her chakra network. As it isn't something I created, I can only tell you what I know. It will mend some minor to major wounds, but doesn't regenerate the vital organs, or the head. It stops things from effecting my chakra network, but does so by shutting it down completely.

Honestly, if you want clarification beyond that, you might have to ask Hage, or look on Kakuhan's endlessly long sheet. They're pretty handy, I must admit.


I'm not sure what you mean about my void style, it doesn't give me a speed boost. I get speed boosts from elsewhere. It just requires a speed boost to be used. It doesn't give saya a speed boost at all on it's own.

The armor penetrating spear jutsu is pretty pointless anyway. It's useful, but it should't require chakra at all. Yari are designed to penetrate armor by nature of their thrusting blade. I'm willing to remove the technique, as it's one I've never had to use in a fight anyway. Also, my app takes up the entire limit, and if I need to make changes, I'm going to need a little room.
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Aaron
Aaron

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 31 May 2010, 11:11 pm

Yes I'd remove the technique if I were you. And if you're running out of room, migrate some paragraphs down to your second post in the app.
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyMon 31 May 2010, 11:15 pm

Removed. Updated my personality with the new space provided.
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Aaron
Aaron

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyTue 01 Jun 2010, 11:39 am

Seeing as Saya has two styles, I take it she can only use one at a time in her manouevers?

Wind wrote:
The blade can be trod upon by elephants and bent in a press and still retain it’s proper shape and deadly edge.


That's too OP in my opinion, there needs to be a way to destroy your weapon.

Wind wrote:
This is a short weapon made for quick stabbing attacks. The blade is only about 18 inches long--
18 inches isn't short, for the weapon to be a short sword/dagger, I'd drop it to 10~12 inches.
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Aaron
Aaron

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyTue 01 Jun 2010, 12:08 pm

Wind wrote:
consists of a 17 foot long pole

No person would be able to weild a weapon this long, it's about the width of a big swimming pool! Even if they could, their attacks would be incredibly slow, even with their strenth and weapons mastery.

Wind wrote:
Special Abilities/Characteristics: [/b]


There's a break in your coding under throwing axes, could you fix that for me so it's more prominent where one paragraph ends and the other begins?

It's also happened in Kyoketsu Shoge. Same with Armoured Spike and Ashigaru War Armour.

Wind wrote:
the spike it shoots is about 8 inches long


8 inches it quite long for a thick senbon, I'd say ~5 inches.

Wind wrote:
The mask also has a built in range finder that is accurate up to a range of 10 miles.

Explain what a range finder is, because if it detects enemies then this is way too OP.

Fix all that, and it should be good for approving. Very Happy
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Wind
Wind

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Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Vide
PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyTue 01 Jun 2010, 4:43 pm

Mmkay! Lets run down this list! ^-^

Seeing as Saya has two styles, I take it she can only use one at a time in her manouevers?

No, they can be used together. All the Steel Defense Style does is allow me to use my scabbard in my offhand, and has little effect on anything else. That's why it's a basic style with no advanced maneuvers.


--
That's too OP in my opinion, there needs to be a way to destroy your weapon.

There is a way. Any technique that breaks weapons will still work on mine. The description is just for dramatic interpretation. If you have a technique that breaks A ranked weapons, then you can break my sword. =P

--
18 inches isn't short, for the weapon to be a short sword/dagger, I'd drop it to 10~12 inches.

18 inches is the blade length, and really about perfect for a short sword. A good many short swords are actually longer than this.

--
No person would be able to weild a weapon this long, it's about the width of a big swimming pool! Even if they could, their attacks would be incredibly slow, even with their strenth and weapons mastery.

It's called a pike, and people have been using them since the days of Geece, Rome, and Macedonia. Yeah, I havn't used it yet, but this is the size of a pike used by phalanxes of pikemen for centuries.

--
8 inches it quite long for a thick senbon, I'd say ~5 inches.

Minor enough, I suppose I can live with that.

--
Explain what a range finder is, because if it detects enemies then this is way too OP.
A range finder just tells you how far away something is.. like a ship on the horizon. It doesn't find things, allow for night vision, etc etc. It just tells you how far away something is. This is much like the range finder that Deidara used while flying around.
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Wind
Wind

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PostSubject: Re: Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin Saru Saya - Kiri Chuunin EmptyTue 01 Jun 2010, 4:49 pm

Code problems fixed.
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